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OK just for the run down of tings let me tell ya! I have been married for 11 yrs. When we 1st got married things were really up and down. we fought like cats and dogs...he would call me names and we would litterly fight. I ventured off and cheated on him and left him for a period of 1 year. during that year he also had girl friends. He fell and had an accident and that made me realize that I wanted to be with him because I loved him. now. we have been back together for 4 1/2 yrs but the problem is, anything I do Its all wrong. Im loosing weight and walking with a friend every night (a girl) and he accuses me of cheating,acting different, and he always says we have no marriage. He says im acting different but Im really not. I just want MY TIME. any thing that I do, like I said, IS WRONG. he calles me names and throws fits throwing things and such Its always my fault. He just always assumes thing and most of the time there not true....what should I do? I lay in the bed @ night and wonder

2006-10-06 19:10:12 · 13 answers · asked by HUM... ??? 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

13 answers

Follow your heart. It knows.

2006-10-06 19:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by Alex 3 · 0 0

It sounds like all u did is come back where u first left off and none of this got resolved in the first place. I don't know what kind of marriage u had in the first place but if u are to ever make this work, your husband has to also be willing to put in his share of work, otherwise, nothing will change.

2006-10-06 19:30:14 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0 0

If you think the marriage is worth trying to save, get counseling. And if he doesn't cooperate, then he's not interested in saving the marriage, so that's your answer.

ALSO, you can love him WITHOUT living with him and WITHOUT taking his abuse. What about loving YOURSELF? You only have one life - do you want the rest of it to be like this? If his behavior is making you unhappy and sick, and he won't change, then walk out. Go do good things with life and don't let anybody drag you down any more. And DON'T take a suitcase of guilt with you!

I have a saying at my desk: "If you don 't like your life, change it. You're not a tree." May God bless and guide you.

2006-10-06 19:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by Rainfog 5 · 0 0

Take him to marriage counseling; he sounds ready to go. He's insecure in the relationship; if you lose weight, maybe you'll leave him, etc.

Tell him you love him before he gets around to accusing you of anything. If you head him off at the pass, he'll stop doing that.

2006-10-06 19:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0 0

three things for a relationship 1 trust 2 be honest and 3 communication........ if you dont have any of them then you wont have a relationship............ ok 1 you cheated 2 im sure you lied and 3 sounds like you dont talk to each other............. not saying all is your fault he is as fault also but if you dont have of them 3 things then its time to move on just like i did.......

2006-10-06 19:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by m_n_b_n_kds 1 · 0 0

He sounds really insecure. He also sounds scary. Maybe you were right when you broke up with him. He just doesn't trust you. Give it up and leave. You can't change him, So do something for yourself. You might need help. Its abuse, emotional scaring is hard to heal. Be careful.

2006-10-06 19:18:08 · answer #6 · answered by Casper 2 · 0 0

You know, it sounds like he's picking a fight. Tell him that you just need your space OR here's an idea...invite him along OR you both do more things together.

2006-10-06 19:17:42 · answer #7 · answered by mustbekiddin 2 · 0 0

U do not deserve to be treated like this. Get hold of yourself, move out and have a life which believe me can be beautiful.

2006-10-06 19:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by majorcavalry 4 · 0 0

You shouldn't have gone back because none of the issues were ever resolved.... you both have to resolve the issues that lead to the breakdown of the marriage....

2006-10-06 19:14:10 · answer #9 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0 0

You guys need professional help. Go to counseling.

2006-10-06 19:14:39 · answer #10 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 0 0

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