My boyfriend have been living together for 5 months - been together for 9months.
I can truely say I can see my future with him. However still after all this time, he still hasn't said he loves me. He knows I love him... I've told him several times. But I don't say it as much as I would like because it hurts saying it and not hearing it back.
I'm just wondering if maybe I've rushed into love? And he is on course or should he be stepping it up a notch by now!?
He's told me he can see us getting married and wants our relationship... but why can't he say he loves me? I do everything in my power to show him my love.. am I doing enough?
2006-10-06 19:09:59 · 12 answers · asked by InnerBeauty28 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We live like we're married - our bills come out of one account that we both put money in... He pays bills and so do I. I even work for his family-run Heating and A/C company as his bookkeeper/assistant.
I've had a heart to heart talk with him about how I feel towards him... but the whole "I love you" topic is always evaded.
He was engaged 2x before - both cheated on him. (So that is one reason why I've given him a break) but still... I wonder and it hurts.
2006-10-06 19:23:28 · update #1
The reason why I moved in with him is because we had a long distance relationship (of 2.5 hours)... and we wanted to take the next step (we kinda skipped a couple) and he told me to come be with him... cause he wanted me to be close. I did too... so yes, I made a gutsy move... haven't regretted it minus the question I've posted.
Thanks for your insight!
2006-10-06 19:27:58 · update #2
I will let you in on a guy secret.
It is very hard to say, 'I love you' and not mean it.
When we feel comfortable saying it, it is the best feeling for us.
Give him time.
You didn't rush into love, love just happens.
It may happen a little slower or quicker for people.
Also, he may feel it, but he may be afraid to say it because of a past relationship.
My friend was like this.
He was in love with his girlfriend of 7 months, and so was she.
He would not tell her though.
Because, in his previous relationship, his ex used to tell him she loved him and he would say it back.
She cheated on him and ever since has felt scared of saying it to someone.
So his newer girlfriend was worried until I told her how he felt about her and about that word.
They are still together and are married with a beautiful daughter now.
2006-10-06 19:16:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the word 'love' the only thing that counts ? Try to understand if this guys really loves you, cares about, how he behaves, take you into consideration when making a decision etc ... .
Some guys are very stressed by getting engaged/married. Telling they love, is a kind a declaration which suggests engagement/marriage. Hence, they are panicking about it and prefer not to mention it. BUT IT DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING. He may be waiting for the right moment. (It may take a while, and maybe too long for you, but this is another story ...).
Therefore, try to find out by his acts rather to just sticking to words or romantic declaration. REMEMBER: a good sales man speaks very nice, but the product is not always as you may have told ...
2006-10-06 19:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by Yoel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Moving in with someone who hasn't said I love you is gutsy. And kind of weird. At least he can see you guys getting married though. Maybe you should just ask him about the love issue. He might have some childhood hangups or something that you don't know about. As far as you doing enough, I think the ball is clearly in his court right now. You've done what you can and he needs to start reciprocating. Hopefully he will. If not, you need to start thinking about how much more of this you can take.
2006-10-06 19:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people find it just extremely difficult to tell others what they feel, he may want to say it but he just can't. He may eventually be able to say it but he probably needs a lot of time. Normally, that kind of people show their emotions through actions instead of words, so if he doesn't tell you he loves you, he probably shows it in another way. It may even be something contradictory, for example, he shows you he loves you by insulting you or hitting you (lightly, of course... I'm not saying he will hit you in the head with a glass bottle or something lol), as crazy as it sounds, some people express their love through "hate" just because they're are afraid to show their real feelings.
If he has already said he can see you two married, then he does love you, he just have problems expressing himself. Try analizing his actions so you can discover by yourself if he loves you or not. He probably does.
2006-10-06 19:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by alex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes your doing enough, for me sometimes its hard to get right into those words because of prior relationship faliures 9 months is kind of long though. just ask him casually, try not to make it sound argumentive if he has trouble saying that he loves you because he might be afraid of opening up to you and then losing you. it sounds stupid i know but sometimes its hard to open up to people if you think those words are more than words. but if your paying the bills he might not love you and just be riding the relationship. a good way to ask might be something like tell him you love him and when he doesnt reply kind of smile and say what you dont love me 2, that might shed some light for you good luck.
2006-10-06 19:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by michael_phillips73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys can't express their emotions like women. we would rather show you how much we love you than tell you. sometimes words don't mean enough and sometimes they can mean eveything. overuse can decrease their value. but the rarity of something that important can increase it's value tenfold and men understand that better than women. maybe he is not ready to tell you but he feels that he wants to show you by taking the next step. give him time.
2006-10-06 19:28:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is testing you. he tells you that he wants you two toget married so that you don not rush out. he doesn't say he loves you because he is still not so sure about your relationship & is testing the finer details of the relationship. give him some weeks then confronty him & ask him what he feels for the relationship once & for all
2006-10-06 19:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by karan s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The word "LOVE" is not hard to say if you really do love that person. Maybe he thinks it is better to show you love by his actions than just to say it.
2006-10-06 19:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by MUSHMAN 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i don't think it's right that you're living with him already. you should have waited for that. i don't know why guys are so ...shy! i went to a dance today and this boy i knew liked me and he kept following me and wouldn't leave me alone. he obviously thought i was hot......... but he wouldn't ask me to dance. oh well. his loss. maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about it. and maybe if he's expecting marriage, it's another form of "i love you"......... i don't know. best of luck
2006-10-06 19:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love you. Time will tell good luck.
2006-10-06 19:14:37 · answer #10 · answered by Obsidian © 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋