How do I stop this without putting my daughter in the center. If this woman was a school teacher, pier or just a stranger on the street I would stop this behaviour yet as my daughters step mother I am unable do anything.
Please help
2006-10-06 19:06:12 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You really do have a bit of mess on your hands.
I would arrange to talk to your ex without the problematic wife he has and tell him you BOTH need to attend some counselling with your daughter.
Obviously you don't want her to be the focus but she is unfortunately there because of the woman's actions and hurtful things she says to your daughter. This is more important then functions or school attendance by the dad but I suspect they are tied together since it may be her causing some of those issues as well.
Counselling is very important so your daughter doesn't get emtionally damaged or scarred by the step mother's mean and controlling behaviour and the thearpist pointing out the problem to your ex is far more likely to get him to see the truth then you trying to tell him.
Explain that your child will be in therapy and you expect him to attend sessions with her. Most likely they will start off with you and your daughter then just your daughter then the thearpist would bring in dad so he can be told of the issues and work with your daughter. My guess is few would require you and him to attend at the same time so he nor his wife would see the visits as any attempt to reconcile or your interferring in thier marriage.
If that is not an option then yes you need to sit him down and explain what is going on when he isn't alwyas within earshot of them and also explain you can't let those types of things be said because it will emotionally effect her and cause problems for her.
If he refuses to accept or work with you then you need to go back to court and get visitation changed to protect your child's mental health overall.
No child should hear those types of things from an adult or be placed in that type of environment. Please do what is bets for her, she may miss dad and not fully understand but do try and explain you are protecting her heart and her head from such mean behaviour. Someday she will understand and thank you. Be sure to try and point out you are not saying dad doesn't love her or care but the step mother is certainly not treating her in an acceptable way and the best choice is not always the perfect choice.
2006-10-06 19:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have the power, love will conquer. she knows, as a teenager she can judge for herself what kind of person she wants to be. your love and understanding of what she experiences there is all she needs to deal with it. she has learned how to act over 10 years. you have obviously taught her forgiveness, she has a tough skin through her experience and will not accept the same kind of treatment she has witnessed.
2006-10-06 19:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by sllyjo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just do what you can and present yourself as a stable person who listens and understands.... change only what is within your power to change otherwise be the stepdaughter's friend and emotional anchor.
2006-10-06 19:32:15 · answer #3 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a child i grew up with a very bad stepmother. Ive always appreciated my mother for going to bad for me and my siblings.You might be the only one who will stand up for her as my mother was the only one who would stand up for us.
2006-10-06 19:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by j h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋