A friend of mine keeps trying to please everyone, even at the expense of her own happiness. How can she learn to take care of herself and not try to please everyone all the time?
2006-10-06 19:00:51 · 10 answers · asked by High On Life 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow your friend sounds exactly like me a year ago. I'm just too nice. But after a while I just got fed up, coz when ur that person people have a tendency to step all over you. One of my closest friends was doing that and it hurt me to the point where I just finally got sick of being the girl that gets stepped on.
Theres some sort of belief that a "good person" is super selfless etc. etc. and it took a long time (still working on it) to realize that I dont have to be everyones everything, esp. when the feelings are rarely reciprocated. This is something your friend has to learn on her own. She might always be like this, sorry to say. And all you as a friend can do is just stand by and support her coz people only hear what they want to hear.
2006-10-06 19:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa great question The '70s were great for going nuts on trying to answer this question. I've got 2 responses for you: she's getting something out of this even if it's not what she wants really it's what she's learned to do. that way it keeps her from looking at herself. Second you aren't going to change her by preaching at her. that'll make it worse for you. You can't help everybody. you sound like good Friend and a great person. Have a great life.
here's a suggestion: find the book entitled "When I say no I feel guilty". its a little goofy but honestly it has some very practical and workable techniques for letting people deal with their own stuff. It'll take a lot of unnecesary worry off your i mean your friend's shoulders
Maybe you should read it too? ; - >
2006-10-06 19:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by huh? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By realizing she must love herself before she can love anyone else. She must acknowledge the fact that she can't please anyone if she is gone and has run herself out. She has to realize that people will be happy in knowing she is happy.
Best of Luck!!
2006-10-06 19:03:35 · answer #3 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she must stop that crap and start thinking about herself and the future those people wont be the when she has problems and life crises.she must just be hereself and live life to the foolest.you cant buy love and it cant buy happiness she must grow up for a change.she must take that money and go to further her studies or save and buy a car or buy her granny a nice gift.
2006-10-06 19:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by malindi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people that she is trying to please are not only not pleased with themselves but they are not pleased with anybody else that they come in contact with including your friend. Its like love you don't fall in love , love is either in you or its not. The love that's in you attracts, the love that's in somebody else who has love in them and you share your love, that you both posses with each other together. The real question is can you be pleased ,can you accept and give pleasure, with or without strings attached. Do you require commitment or are you a free spirit? Are you or she looking for love in all the wrong places . Do you have love inside you enough to attract the love inside someone else that you re attracted to that you desire, that you want him or her to desire you too, just as much as you do. Love recognizes love. You can't transmit something that you don't have, and people who have real love inside themselves know the difference. They can spot pretender a mile away. I know I can
2006-10-06 19:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by crazydiamond2153 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must reach that bridge of happiness for herself.
she must be the one to take the time for herself, love herself, and being who she is by herself.....
Show her the way by loving her and that she can have a plan and you can show her how to make a plan...
2006-10-06 19:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by MissChatea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its part of their nature then its hard to stop. i use to be like that but when i became a single mum and i had to do everything myself, i started to see how people used me and i let them walk over me. i soon put a stop to it but it has made me a more cautious person and sometimes when people try to get close i back off because im wary of what they might want in return.
she has to find out herself if she is going to change. you really cant do it for her.
2006-10-06 19:04:57 · answer #7 · answered by vanessaoz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of people who would make fun of the possibility of changing their fates. This is due to the fact that it thinks that nobody gets more that what is put in his fate.
2016-05-15 19:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by Jill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stop. It might feel awkward at first thinking you (oops, your friend) is offending someone, but that will pass and your (dammit your friend's) life will be changed forever!
2006-10-06 19:05:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
work on saying no
2006-10-07 16:15:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋