and "my heart isn't in this". We have old issues but the main thing is, he cheated 9 yrs. ago, and that's when my feelings changed. Guess stayed with him out of fear---has a bad temper. well, now that I'm older, I feel I don't need this crap!
what's worse is, I can't even have an occasional night out with other friends without getting flak and yelled at when I come home. my kids see this and 1 of them doesnt have a good relat. with him. He acts more like a child!
Many have said over time that "I can do better". I don't have faith in me that I can!
2006-10-06 18:19:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of you need to get your head straight. Your husbands Temper is most likely having to do with you feelings towards him. If you feel as you do your husband is getting that from you too.
Since you have children you have two choices. Counseling to save the marriage or counseling to end the marriage. Yes counseling and you both will need it. You need build yourself back you and he will need it to see you and accept you and what you want.
Go to counseling for help and where it leads doesn't really matter if you end up happy from it.
2006-10-06 20:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a woman's group or abuse agency they can get you some counselling to help you say what you need and also help you figure out the best way to handle leaving since he has a temper and children are involved.
If you think he will react violently or cause the kids too much stress with just screaming and fighting try to get them out and someplace safe first before you leave and tell him you want out of the marriage.
Having the kids at a family members or friends during the discussion is best- and if violent certainly seeking an abuse group for help with planning and how to communicate your intentions. It may be best in that case to due via phone or by court documents with your family somewhere safe.
It sounds like you just need help finding how to say what you feel and not violence so Do seek counselling or adivce from a professional or group that deals specifically with this type of issue. Employers often have EAP programs which are free and private and they can offer either direct help and advice or the proper referral. If this is not an option find your local health clinic where typically teens go for birth control, those clinics also offer relationship counselling for free as well and are much better equipped to get you the right services and help you need for your specific situtation.
2006-10-06 18:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your heart isn't in it then don't be in it. If it is out of fear that you are with him then get over your fear. Pretend he is one of those roller coasters that are scary but you ride it any way because you know that eventually it will stop. Plus don't let your kids see that. Don't let him boss you around. But don't get loud with him it will only make matters worse. You should stay calm at all times. Besides your heart isn't in it so really their isn't nothing to get mad about in the first place. Just tell him that you can't do it anymore and leave. Don't let him push you around and if it gets out of control call the police.
2006-10-06 18:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by romeo3448 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want a divorce..
Plain & simple..
There is no easy way to do it...
Better sooner than later..
You are not getting any younger...
2006-10-06 18:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him a video of you with another guy.
2006-10-06 18:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋