How could you say you loved me
When you didn’t even care
How could you hold me in your arms
And tell me you’d always be there
Why did you make those promises
When you knew you’d break my heart
Why didn’t you just admit it
It was better we were apart
It would have saved me from this heartache
The darkness and despair
If I could fall asleep at night
Knowing you were always there
It might not seem like it effects me
When I’m laughing with my friends
But behind my eyes I’m aching
With pain that never ends
Now I look back on those days
And how it didn’t last forever
How you whispered in my ear
That we would always be together
How you told me I was yours
And how you promised you were mine
I was all that really mattered
Your only star that really shined
you broke my heart
and it hurt so bad
So I have to let you know
That I can’t move on, but can’t look back
So I have to let you go
2006-10-06 18:02:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the first two thirds hava a nice rythm/flow
the last third though nice, could use a little adjusting.
over all i enjoyed it.
the meaning and depth were great..:)
2006-10-06 18:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by K E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it. You should actually look into writing songs for bands. Most of them don't write their own lyrics and are looking for people like you.
Poison "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" actually came from a girl who wrote a poem and they turned it into a song.
Go Girl!!!
2006-10-07 01:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by serenitynow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poem is good and sad, also I'm glad to hear you can move on I hope you do and maybe then he'll see that he should've broke your heart, I feel that to shall pass and you mend. Good luck.
2006-10-07 01:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by J B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Verrry nice! That's a quality piece. Sad, but well written.
2006-10-07 01:15:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very very good. You are very gifted. I hope this didn't happen to you . That it would inspire you to write the words I wish you all the best and God be with you.
2006-10-07 01:10:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very neat. If you have more that good you should put them together and see if someone will publish you.
2006-10-07 01:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a winner.
2006-10-07 01:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by jrcarl2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is so good i love it. are u a professional poet or something cuz its like REALLY good.
2006-10-07 01:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by Water 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It bites,it's to damn long and goes on and on about nothing.
2006-10-07 01:04:44 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really great! (And I am pretty critical about poems like these...)
2006-10-07 01:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by isayssoccer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋