Psychological a man, born a woman. So am I a lesbian married to a man or straight and screwed up.?

Question

I have gone to therapist, counslers and many people for help. I am, and always have been, attracted to women. Social and family beliefs are too strong to fight. The bible is also a strong reason I keep myself in check. I know that I feel that I am a man in a womans body. Many people fight the situation so much that they sleep with many of the opposite sex to prove that they are straight, and it never works. I think its a defect such as hare lips, or some other malformity in birth. I told one therapist that I have tried so many times to cut that part of me out to no avail. Her response was I can't because it is who I am. I am married to a wonderful man, 13 years, that understands, thank God. I love him with all my heart, yet the yearning and strong feelings toward women won't go away. When I meet a woman that I feel attracted to I run like its the devil. Still I have dreams of women. I can't control that. I feel I am a lesbian married to a man. Many gays don't understand, nor straight.

Married once, 3 children. Married twice sick relationship. Married to a woman once, guilt and family broke it apart. Had a child on my own. Married third time 13 years now. He injoys the sex I know, me, not injoying, but then that gets a little personal. Yes, it's the cross I bear.

Answer 1

Sounds hard.

You made your marriage work. And your husband loves you and understands. That's great. And you stick by your beliefs. Maybe it's a cross you have to carry like God did? Who knows? Everyone carries crosses of some sort.

But I'm not being mean, how about the sex and do you have kids?
Just curious.

Answer 2

I have some strong feelings about sexuality, and the way it defines our personalities. I think it's kind of strange the way you refer to women as objects in this particular question, objects of desire in your own dreams. I feel as if there should be a particular person you are attracted to, even if you are a man trapped in a woman's body. There are stereotypes about men being attracted to any woman, just anyone, but that often is the same libido any woman really has in dreams. I think it's important for you to narrow down the description of your "dream woman" in terms of what it is that is attracting you, so that you can figure out what it is that you are missing from your relationship with your husband. If it were really that simple, in a perfect world, your husband would have a sex change for you. But would that really do it for you? Is that what you're really missing?