He truly seems to want to be a family and is putting best foot forward as hard as possible.i want to forgive and move on ,but it haunts me terribly.I saw sexual pictures of he and the other girls.I can't get it out of my head.This was a year ago.
2006-10-06 17:16:39 · 25 answers · asked by nancy m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you can forgive,but you never forget
2006-10-06 17:19:14 · answer #1 · answered by lori b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say it was a year ago. If you were not a "couple" or "together" at that time, then he hasn't cheated on you. He has a past though, just like we all do. You found out about the past and it troubles you. Talk about it, about your fears-maybe you will be able to let go of it.
On the other hand, if you were going together or married or in an "exclusive" relationship when he was with the other girls - then it's a problem for both of you. You because you will have to forgive to stay together (that's really hard to do) and him (because he isn't a nice person.)
If he cheated on your relationship you can try to make it work - this happened to me and I spent 2 years trying to make it work before I finally saw the light and moved on. It was very hard to do but now (8 years later) I know it was the best and only thing to do.
Good luck, I say a prayer for you in your anguish.
2006-10-06 17:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by bobinbelen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't something that you can really ask other people. This is a question you need to ask your heart and your mind. Trust is a hard thing, because once it is broken it may never be repaired again. Are you asking Y! Answers because you are looking for someone to give you a reason to stay with him? You need to look down the road. If the two of you had only been together for a short while, in the grand scheme of your lives, do you think that he can remain loyal to you? Is he saying it to keep a vulnerable woman? These are questions and conversations you need have with him and yourself. If these pictures are haunting you, burn them. See what you feel then? See how he feels then. If he is angry that you burned them you might just have yourself an answer.
2006-10-06 17:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive him? Neither you or him have the right to expect that you will ever be able to forgive him. It is commendable that you are willing to be forgiving but how will you ever be able to forgive him for betraying your trust and proving that satisfying his lust was more important that you are in his life? He has proven that he cannot be trusted. He has proven that you mean nothing to him, or at least not enough to stand in the way of him getting some strange. What will you do when he is late coming home from someplace...will you wonder if he is cheating? What is you smell the smell of perfume in the air...will you wonder if he is cheating?
Trust, communication and love are about the most important things in a relationship....can you make it work with what he has put you through? If you can you are one incredible woman (or a fool if he cheats again) Once a cheater, always a cheater. Best of luck.
2006-10-06 17:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by Mav 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is playing you. Do you think if he cared about you like you hope, he would have cheated in the first place. Or if it is true why would he allow pictures of his stupidity to be made. Then show you them! He is Testing your love for him because he is a insecure A**h***. You should not allow him the chance to hurt you again, because if he talks you into going back with him by playing like he wants to be a family, not only will you will be hurt again and again. You may have a child by then and when he moves off to fool someone else, you and your baby will be hurting. If you get angry at him, he will not feel responsible, because YOU failed the test. In other words if you do not love him enough to let him screw whoever he wants to and still come home you fail not him. His new girl will take his money and time from you and your child. So after my speech I say letting him go is best for you now and in your future.
2006-10-06 17:52:44 · answer #5 · answered by eudaemon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can't be answered without more details. Are you married to him? Were you married when he cheated? How old are you? How old is he?
I could never forgive and go on. I did once and he only cheated again because he figured he could cheat and have me too. I should have left him for good after the first time. He is not worth it to stay together. Believe me, 9 out of 10 will do it again.
2006-10-06 17:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. This is a tough one. I hate cheaters. Are you married? If you are, it makes things a little more complicated. If you aren't, I would get out of the relationship. In your question you say you saw pictures of him and the other girlS. Did it happen more than once or did he cheat on you with more than one girl at the same time? If you can't get it out of your head, you should leave. I know I would never be able to forgive him.
2006-10-06 17:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do forgive...you move on with caution and watching for signs or theyre triggered. It's not easy to forget and can be stressful on you and your relationship. However, after a time...if your guy/girl shows some true integrity it becomes less and less of an image an more liked shoeboxed away. Good luck.
2006-10-06 17:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This can be a serious thing, because you afraid that he will cheat you. It is human nature to be afraid. If you want to build relationship, you need to accept him as he is. We all have the dark past, and if he already told you the truth, I can see that he's at least being honest with you, and that's a good point.
What you need is to accept him, test him whether he is truly honest and want to make it right. Just ask him if he meant it.
2006-10-06 17:32:11 · answer #9 · answered by Pastoer_return 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some say once a cheater always a cheater but I have seen people work thru it and heal from it and have good healthy relationships. However, it was with a therapist who worked diligently with them to deal with it. It's a very long and hard process to get thru it. I would NOT do it without professional help.
2006-10-06 17:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by oneradnursey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If its been that long ago and you are still hurting..... its best to end it with him. Then, forgive him and move on. To forgive him means that he will no longer have the control over you and your pain. Good luck to you. Take care
2006-10-06 17:20:40 · answer #11 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋