My two grown daughters constantly ask for money. We are not rich. The older one is not currently married and she has a job. Her sister is younger with two kids and not married. Boyfriend lives with them. We are expected to babysit every weekend with no notice and she gets mad if we don't watch the grand kids. She attends college and lives rent free.
2006-10-06 17:10:26 · 13 answers · asked by seekinghisface1974 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Time to put the foot down...and tell them NO ... the bank is closed but for emergencies ...it might help if the next time you talk ...before she has a chance to ask .. ask HER...watch her stammer and stutter ....
as for babysitting the little ones ...Monday morning call her up and tell her that you have plans for the weekend you wont be able to babysit ...and by all means go and enjoy yourself ...wean her into a week end a month that you will do it ...she is just taking advantage of you
I do wish you luck ... adult children tend to forget we are people also
2006-10-06 17:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK What are you doing to stop this problem? other than ask this question. What you need to do is set up rules just like they are children, No Money, No free rent, No babysitting, These girls are adults they got them selves into their mess, let them get them selves out. If you keep bailing them you can expect to do this for the rest of your life. You are Parents,your house your rules. If they don't' agree. then they are free to go elsewhere, asap. If you back down they WIN
2006-10-06 17:17:43 · answer #2 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you care if they get mad? Doesn't handing out money and sitting without notice make you mad. They're mad or your mad, which do you prefer? They're on they're own and living with the choices they've made. Encourage them, support them, but your finished parenting them. Tough love babe, just say no to freeloaders, even if they're your own kids. Inform them of your notice policy(how much notice you require). Kids think they're parents lives are over when they leave the house. Let them know that you have plans for yourselves and that baby sitting just isn't possible, because me and the hubby are off to Vegas, baby!!!1. You've given a good chuck of you life to raiseing them, now its your turn to live. Live it up !!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-06 17:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for the money, banks closed and make a list of the money they've gotten out of you and tell them they have x amount of time to PAY IT BACK. It wasn't free to you so why should it be free for them. As for your grandchildren, tell your daughter no. And if she leaves them in your care without notice or consent. Tell your daughter your going to call social services and file a complaint that she is not being responsible for her own children.You've raised your children and it's time she raised her own. It's hard to say no when you love your children and grandchildren, and helping them out once in awhile is fine, but not to the point where they have no respect for you and thinks it's ok to take advantage of you.
2006-10-06 17:38:15 · answer #4 · answered by hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just refuse to let them do these things any more. If you're old enough to be in college and/or have kids, you're old enough to be more responsible and not so much of a mooch on your parents.
Do not pay her rent.
Do not give money when asked.
Do not babysit without adequate notice, or not at all if you wish.
Do not give in based on her being mad.
Read a book on the interpersonal problem of co-dependency and learn from it, as I did.
2006-10-06 17:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually i have not figured that one out yet...but i am getting better....the last time my son borrowed money he got mad and ripped the 10$ bill in half....well the next morning he asked me for it back...well now i am just saying i do not have any money...actually they waste more than i ever thought about it...and i think he works then let him use his own money and i am saving what i have to live on to buy myself a good christmas present...anything i buy them they act like it is not good enough...so this year i am going to get something i need...i think they have to learn like we had to when our parents quit supporting us....i do still babysit for free though because they are my grandchildren and i love to see them...i doubt they would come around much except when they need something....
2006-10-06 17:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say no. So what if they get a little mad. You have a right to your own life now - you've done your job. It's time for them to grow up and get a life of their own and leave your life for you to finally enjoy.
2006-10-06 17:17:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a backbone and say no.You have them you take care of them just like we took care of you.Then kick her lazy butt out.Get your own to lay up in.
2006-10-06 17:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no way .....you have to step up to the plate.......
tell them, your older now, have kids, and have to raise
them ......you have already raised yours, it's there turn....
maybe babysit once a month...... with pay, you have
done your part...... they have to learn......it's time for you
to enjoy your life.....
2006-10-06 17:26:18 · answer #9 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply stop giving it to them.
2006-10-06 17:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by Answers1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋