I am marrying my fiance in a few months and I am doing it b/c I was rasied in a mother father family. I was taught to keep it going. I am not happy with him because all he wants is sex, I don't. I feel like I owe it to my daughter to stay with him so that she can have both her biological parents... I saw what it did to my brother when he found out my dad wasn't his. What should I do? No CONSULING!
2006-10-06 16:50:36 · 13 answers · asked by Aubrey's Mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In many instances in my life, I don't believe in "Just Because"....
2006-10-06 16:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get some counseling,I felt the same way with my daughters father cuz I wasn't raise in a family with both biological parents and I wanted her to have something different from me but it didn't work.Please don't force what is not there,and don't make yourself happy when you're not,because it will get worse.Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't approve of it then bounce,sorry that's the only advice I can give you.But I'm married and it's not her biological father,and I;m 10 times more happier things come easy to you when you don't rush into things.
2006-10-06 17:12:10 · answer #2 · answered by Sister Queen Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you wanting to do this. The thing is, children know when one of their parents isn't happy, when the marriage isn't happy. That will affect your daughter. By all means, keep her father in her life. You can do that without marrying him. Be fair to her, and to yourself, wait for someone you'll be happy with. It can work. She can have both of you in her life without you having to marry him. My mom is divorced. The marriage started happy, but ended unhappily. I knew they were unhappy. This was a very hard thing to go through. I was actually relieved when they called it off and it meant no more fighting, no more tension. You're all ready unhappy with him. Ok, I'm done. Take if for what it's worth.
2006-10-06 17:02:36 · answer #3 · answered by flower'sopie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not get married if you are not in love even if it is b/c of you daughter. What kind of message will you be sending your daughter if you do get married? Stay single and give her all your time b/c believe me that is all she will need. If you get married w/o loving the guy you wouldn't be resolving anything. You would be making a huge mistake b/c if he decided after maybe lets say 2 years he is tired of sex and he leaves what would you do to your daughter's life but make it more complicated. Just dedicate yourself to her and you make her happy.(not spoiling her of course) I know it will be more difficult but you wouldn't be confusing her that's for sure. Good Luck with your choice.
2006-10-06 17:12:43 · answer #4 · answered by jaaaam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong because he can be a father to his child without being with you,and you can be a good mother to your child without being with him and still have a well rounded child you don't owe anyone anything other that your child so if you feel that you are not happy with him now and you know in your heart that the way you feel won't change then it would be wise to rethink your decision to marry your childs father not counseling you just giving it to you straight.
2006-10-06 19:13:28 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you raised in a home where the parents loved one another or did they marry because of duty and obligation? Do you want your daughter to marry for love?
Let's review:
1. You aren't happy with him
2. All he wants is sex
3. You don't want counseling
How is any of this good for your daughter? You already know that this isn't good for either of you.
Break it off with him, but both of you commit to being loving parents to your daughter. She does not need the example of two unhappy people who married because they "owed it to her."
2006-10-06 17:06:26 · answer #6 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i always feel sorry for the people who have to make this choice, but think about it this way...will your daughter be happier in a home where the parents arent happy? Kids pick up on these things. If you are miserable, she will know.
2006-10-06 17:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by liz m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong, If you are unhappy, your kids will definetly be affected. She deserves a happy you more than a married you. My parents stayed together for the kids, everybody was miserable. Hope this helps.
2006-10-06 16:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by fevinator 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children are very cunning, they tend to recognise, often before we do, that things are wrong... sometime they'll bury it, sometimes they'll voice it... either way, if it's not explained to them clearly enough for them to understand, then it will leave a Life Long Scar.
This isn't something you want to bring on your Child is it?
"Daddy and I are arguing, and we're unhappy... because of you"
2006-10-06 17:12:45 · answer #9 · answered by SYNTAX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please think about what you teach your children if you are in a bad relationship. A healthy, supportive, loving single-parent relationship is likely more healthy for your children than one where you are unhappy. Even if you try to hide it, they know - and they might think that's what marriages are supposed to be like. Lead with a good example and be strong in yourself.
2006-10-06 16:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by Stef 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dunno do you value your happiness over your daughter's? I think you should go through with the marriage for your daughters sake maybe set some ground rules with your fiance. If it doesnt work ot with the sex crazed maniac im sure your daughter will understand when shes older i would if my mom was in that situation. Good luck with your decision!
2006-10-06 17:00:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋