I own my townhouse, have lived here alone for 3 and a half years. Just over a month ago I had a friend move in as a roommate... He pays rent, but it's still MY house.
Lately he's taken to having random girls over (usually when I'm not around).. this concerns me for a couple reasons. First, I don't know these people, and as such I'm uncomfortable with them being in my home. Second, he has a son, and just got out of the relationship with his sons mother -- seeing him screw around with various people bothers me, not that I think he should be with the kids mother, because I don't, but he has other things that he should be focusing on rather than that.
Presently he's working overnights, and as such sleeps all day, which means there is already very little time for him to accomplish things..
I'm at my wits end, because he's a friend, but it is my home and his having all these people over whenever he feels like it, without even telling/asking me, makes me angry. He has someone here now
2006-10-06 15:42:14 · 8 answers · asked by tcindie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just ran out for some food and when I got back I walk in to them laying all over each other on my couch...
Am I alone here, or does anyone see my point of view? I mean, I'm not running a flop house!
2006-10-06 15:44:22 · update #1
Thanks for the answers so far.. good stuff!
I must say I'm happy to not see people telling me that I'm overreacting or anything. :)
2006-10-06 15:54:25 · update #2
tell him to get out
2006-10-06 15:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I also share a house with someone. My roommate owns the house, and he has told me if I want to bring anyone over he is completely fine with it. He said, before I moved in, since I pay rent the house is half mine, and feel free to make myself comfortable. I thought this is very fair -as I didn't know him at all when I moved in with him. I typically don't have guests over too often, and if I do I try to be very considerate of my roommate. Is your friend a good roomate overall? Does he pay his rent, keep things clean and respect your privacy? You need to look at this from a landlords perspective as well.
I can appreciate the fact that you don't want strangers running around your house, what if something came up broken or missing. Perhaps you should discuss that concern with your friend. I think it's feasible to have him let you know when he plans to have guests, to be considerate. Also, can't they go in his room? That way you both have privacy? However, I don't think it's fair to judge him or criticize him for his sexual exploits. He is an adult and can make those choices. It's possible he just needs to sow some oats. (not saying I agree with his choices either, but who am I to judge?)
It's hard enough to live with a friend, but once you start making house rules after someone moves in you, the renter, definitely start to feel like a renter, not a friend, and thats where problems can arise. Good luck with everything!
2006-10-06 22:57:55 · answer #2 · answered by jblonde 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand the position you're in and it's difficult when he is your friend, but like you said it's your house, and if you find it too difficult to talk about the issues with him, just ask him to leave as you need your own space for a while. You may want to even help him find a new place (to try and spare the friendship) You shouldn't have to put up with things happening which you have no control of. Best wishes.
2006-10-06 22:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by ang_172 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write up a set of rules (contract) that you expect him to abide by. Each of you sign and date it. Watch him closely for the next several weeks or months to see if he is following rules. If he is not, set a deadline for him to move out.
YOU OWN IT-YOU SET THE RULES End of story!!!
2006-10-06 22:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by conetoe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, if it is really bothering you say in a pretty aggresive way that it needs correcting, and if it doesn't kick him out. If he does improve his ways apologize for being so tough, but remind him how he should settle down and get his head together for you and his son sake. Hope this helps!
2006-10-06 22:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by Brian 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If it is your house...then tell him striaght up you need to talk to him....cause he reached your limit and tell him what you dont want him to be doing in the house (he should take it somewhere else) rather than how he should live his life..cause he might go off on you....good luck!!
2006-10-06 22:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you're not running a whorehouse. He needs to be more discreet with his lady friends.
He needs to respect you and your home, and his son.
The longer you let this go on the harder it will be to put a stop to it.
2006-10-06 22:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is disrespecting you. Kick him out!
2006-10-06 22:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by Joe Prosnick 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋