To stay or not to stay???

Question

Why is it that a majority of the people who answer questions here tell the other person to "find a new mate-dump him/her" ?
It is sad that everyone gives up so easily . Why even start a relationship if -when the going gets tough U give up? Are there any people OUT THERE who would never give up?
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Answer 1

I believe in counseling. But sometimes that doesn't work.
I also believe once a cheater always a cheater. But always try counseling first before you "dump them"

Answer 2

Yes, there is some people that are in it for the long run! In sickness and in health...to death do us part. Will be together 27 years in a couple of days. I don't like divorce, don't recommend very often, but I will when someone is in a relationship that is not healthy physically or mentally.

Yes, you do stay and fight for the marriage. With all your heart and soul, you don't give up at the first sign of trouble. You plant your feet firmly on the ground, and you fight.....No marriage is easy, it's work-for two people...I am afraid some young couple use marriage as a reasons for example-to get away from Mom and Dad, not to be alone, wanting children. to have sex even.

Stay yes, but be to be ignored, abused, to be cheated upon, no then the vows that the innocent party took have been broken. So, then you leave, you pick up your broken heart and go. Divorce is being used to frequently, I agree. But I also know couples who are so unhappy with each other, that their lives are miserable. But they stay together. Is that right?

To love, honor, and cherish.........if those 3 things are missing then there is no marriage per say. Is there? It is sad that a lot of people give up too easily, but then it's also so sad to see the ones that stay and stay hoping and praying things will get better.

People change over a course of time, and it's nature. When 1 changes more or off in another directions leaving his or her partner, what are you to do? Right or wrong sometimes divorce is the only way to salvage your life. It could be the worst mistake of your life, but it also could be a new beginning. Divorcees should be required to take at least 6 counseling sessions before the final paperwork is signed. Unless in a case of physical abuse.

Very good question, and I thank you for asking it. I agree....to stay or not stay? It's easier to leave sometimes then it is to fix the problems. But in the other hand, sometimes it's easier to stay then to leave....damn if you...damn if you don't....

Thanks again........God bless us all.......

Answer 3

I agree with you. I see these questions and I tend to stay away for the most part. I think its up to the couple themselves we don't know whats happening in there lives. and often only get one sided information.

Why majority of people anwer dump him or her you say.

We live in a very selfish world. Many people go in to marriage not with open eyes thinking it will be like the movies and everything peachy keen and rainbows. and the first sign of trouble they bail.

However there are exeptions to the rules someone abusing you hitting you etc... I too would not put up with that crap.

But many couples just give up to soon. they don't want to go through the hassle of working on a marriage it takes work. anything good does.. just like your job you do a half *** job you can't expect to be promoted or get a half decent wage.

Yet on the other hand if more people put into there marriage the way we work hard we would have better relationships..

I think it comes down to .People just to lazy or they dont' want to have to work .

Rule of thumb always try do everything you can. and when you have exhausted all possibilites and the other person doesn't want to help in it. then its time for you to go. you can't clap with one hand it takes two to make things work. and at least you know when you leave you have no regrets you tryed every thing you could.

Answer 4

I really don't think people give up so easily. I think it takes alot for a person to put their personal information in a public format. Not everybody gives up so easily it is up to the individual that is taking in the information to sort thru and decide if the information fits his/her needs. If giving up is part of the conclusion then they were all ready at the door to that decision. I personally don't encourage anybody to give up on their mate. However, if they have done everything that they could and there was not a mutual agreement to work at the relationship. I would then say to move on. As for my relationship I am happily married and we work together to make each other happy. It is a life long commitment

Answer 5

Because sometimes, when you start a relationship, you overlook some important things - and if you're not right for each other: leave!
Once you got married, it's a different story: you had a lot of time to think about your decision before you committed yourself to it. Work hard to make it last, because you can't go through life by leaving whenever times get rough.
I am married to the right man - I know we will always be friends, no matter what will happen.

Answer 6

I have been married 32 years I was 18 ,he was 21, and we have been through very rough and rocky times and though very happy times. If we split up every time it got rough we wouldn't have made it 6 weeks. Marriage and relationships are hard work and you have to work at them if you want to keep them. I would never give up even in the worst times. That's when we needed each other the most. If you want someone warm next to you at night that never disagrees with you . Then buy a puppy.
I'm in this one for better or worse.

Answer 7

It depends I would say if you know for a fact that the love is the same from both people then its worth trying to work out.But if one does not love the other in the same way and the same problems keep happening I say you leave.Love is 50/50 and so is everything else in that relationship.I can't see anyone staying with someone when they no the other does not care about them can you.

Answer 8

It really depends on what is going on if I suggest someone leave or stay and try to work things out.There are certain relationships that are just not worth working for.People enter relationships thinking that this is it and learn later once they have invested time and love that its not what it seemed.Why would someone stay in a relationship when they are not being loved and respected.Really their are to many people to choose from to stay with the wrong one!

Answer 9

You should'nt give up. You fell in love once. Why did you fall in love? What did you do then to fall in love with each other? You need to stop doing what you're doing because it isn't working. Apologize to your spouse even if you think your right and promise to he/she and the world never to do the things that are driving you apart again. List all of the things,you know what they are. If he/she won't see you send a letter or e mail. He/she will come back and things will get better just be the old you that he/she fell in love with.

Answer 10

If it is worth fighting for, then by all means fight for it. But it DOES have to work both ways. If the other person doesn't feel it is worth it there is not alot you can do. I say give it your very best shot and do what you can. Good luck. No matter what happens you will know that you didn't quit.