I've been involved with a man for the past year. Not in a relationship, but we've basically lived the lives as if we were. I'm totally in love with him and he claims that he has feelings for me, but when I first met him, he had just gotten out of a 3 1/2 relationship, which he claims was very stressful and isn't ready to try it again. We click so well together. I can't see myself being with anyone but him. But, lately, I feel that he thinks that I'm pressuring him (even though I don't say anything) and he's kind of slacking off. If it's true love, do you think that I should back off and let him see what else is out there in the hopes of him seeing that he already has something good at home? I don't want to rush him into anything, I just don't know how to be a friend and love him at the same time. Help!!
2006-10-06 15:38:31 · 9 answers · asked by Charlies_Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
you'd better back off, pressuring someone never works it just pushes them further away. Sorry, I hope things work out for you.
2006-10-06 15:41:57 · answer #1 · answered by georganne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you love him as you do there is no doubt you have let him know how much. That in and of itself is the pressure he may be feeling. He cares about you and I am sure the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. But having come out of a bad relationship he knows he is wide open to make a mistake.
Is his feelings for you love or just a need to be loved again? He is so grateful for that because his self worth has been bolstered by it. But he also knows he doesn't want to make the same mistake he did before.
Remember this: None of us truly belong to another. We all travel thru this life alone with others to help us along. If you are meant to be together it will happen. If not now is the time to find out not after you marry.
Give him the space he needs. I know it will be so hard for you. But by being that friend you will show how truly valuable you are to him. Let him fly and he may very well fly right back to you. If not you never really had him anyway.
May the lord be with you both.
2006-10-06 15:56:33 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a little room to move but just remember that you might not like what you see and if you aren't in a relationship well there isn't really much u can do about his freedom is there so just get ready to have you heart broken cause from what i read you are the rebound girl so please for your sake tread lightly.
2006-10-06 15:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by wizardalli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but I don't think that he is going to commit to you. If her were going to commit, he would have done it already. He just wants the benefits of being in a relationship without the actual relationship.
2006-10-06 15:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been involved with him for a year and he still doesn't want a relationship...he basically wants some (and nothing more)...you're better off without him. Find someone who truly loves you.
2006-10-06 15:42:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did momma raise a damn fool??? He probably is already testing the waters. Girl get on with your life. Move on cause he most definitly has.
2006-10-06 15:42:11 · answer #6 · answered by royalphichi32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and give him some space. I have discovered that the more space you give a man the more he decides he really wants to be with you.
2006-10-06 15:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
test the waters in a shark tank......But go shopping for someone warm and wonderful and it not be you ... Quick go to the mirror ...see that girl... Slap the crap outta her !!!
Now that your awake ... No .... if he's shopping you go shopping!
2006-10-06 15:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet another guy and see how he reacts.
2006-10-06 15:40:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋