My b/f and I been together lil over 1 year. His kids are grown and mine are 12,8,and 6. I moved here to be with him and we both fell in love.always wanting to be together etc. we taked about living together etc.love waking up to each other...when discussing living together he said he raised his kids and dont want to raise anymore. I'm beginning to not see a future here although I love him very much and he says he loves me. Am I wrong?
2006-10-06 15:24:29 · 16 answers · asked by pirategirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I do want to mention that he does not exclude the kids from plans. I dont wanna make him sound awful...lol.
2006-10-06 15:26:27 · update #1
This seems to be a question of values. If what you say is accurate you can either live with your love or live with your children. There are some ways to work it out thou.
1. you live in separate house holds. Seeing each other as often as you both like. You would like to be with him all the time but you have the kids to raise. So it would most likely be his chose how often he sees you. If your love is truly strong then just wait until the kids are old enough to leave home then get married or just move in together.
2. Send your kids to live with their father, or have lover boy pay for some kind of boarding school for the children. Some of these schools are very good for children and can end up enriching their lives. But a good one is not cheep.
3. Tell your love, it’s true that you love him deeply. But that you want someone who can love you back enough to naturally love every thing about you. Your children, your dog and your whole darn family.
The man you want is out there, you just got to find each other, and I personally guarantee it.
2006-10-06 16:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by Roy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell that meathead it's a package deal - all or none. If he expresses this sort of thing now, it will not improve in the future. It sounds as if he's made his choice and you already know what yours must be. I've been where he is - I raised my kids, lost my wife and then found another - she had two,and that was her stand: all or nothing. See, your FIRST obligation is to your KIDS! Well, I accepted that, and together my second wife raised her two kids too. One's an Army MP and the other a research assistant with National Institutes of Health. I don't regret it a moment - perhaps the two guys she dated before me who didn't want her kids are regretful, but that's tough. I got her now and I ain't lettin' go!
2006-10-06 15:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tracy,
You gotta decide is he worth the awkward feeling you have when he's around your kids or do you wanna go for whats behind curtain number three!!
Your the mother ...that's a life long job. The kids gotta come first .. perhaps when the boyfriend grows up a bit more ...he'll value having input in your your peoples lives and warm up to the step dad job ... but if not you gotta a real heart breaker of a decision to make ...... Good Luck.
2006-10-06 15:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your best shot is to go to counseling together and see if a professional can help you resolve this problem. Right now, I suspect that even if he did agree to raise them, there'd be a part of him that would still resent having them around.
If he won't go to counseling with you and is still talking about not raising any more children, then that pretty well tells you what's what. You have a responsibility to your kids, and that's the most important thing.
2006-10-06 15:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your "future" with this guy is rapidly disappearing. He should just get out of your life. He has that possibility. You don't have the possibility of just losing your kids, nor do you want to, nor should you. They must come before you. He knew you had kids when you two got together, so its not like its a big surprise. Break it off sooooonnnnn!
2006-10-06 15:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by Pat H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is very clear about not wanting to raise any more kids.. and yours are gonna be around for at least 12 years.... so ditch the guy .. and spend that extra love u have on your kids .. until someone else come along and loves you and the kids ...
2006-10-06 15:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he buys you in spite of you desire for the infant i do no longer see what the subject is. He has teo little ones with the different lady. Thats double the amont of money which you're able to wish to your baby. it form of feels to me that your greater in touch approximately him spending his money on yet another lady somewhat than on you and your jelous. he's basically attempting to do what he thinks is superb, for his babies. Do you ask him to babysit for you? If the twins mom says that she would be in a position to't be around the youngsters it form of feels to me that she could be an undeserving mom and perhaps hes worried approximately that.
2016-10-18 23:05:05 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave those kids life...youre theyre mother. Thats the worst thing you can do is ditch your kid for a partner. If that guy isn't willing to accept your kids then he is NOT it! He doesn't love you like he says if he can't accept your children. Drop him!
2006-10-06 15:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by All I have to do is dream... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey at least he's being honest about it. Maybe you read more into the situation than there was. don't do anything drastic,let it ride and see how things turn out. If he likes children he may come to love yours also. be good and God bless..I'll be thinking about you and yours.
2006-10-06 15:34:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I look at it is that my kids come with me. If you can't handle the whole package than you can't have a piece of it! I would tell him that my kids come first. That is just my opinion. If he truely loved you he would love your kids as well.
2006-10-06 15:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by emily b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋