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Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years and have 2 beautiful kids together. He is an overnight security officer so im at home with the kids all night and pretty much all day *when he comes home he sleeps*. He works with this chic and tells me how she is working, goes to school and has a kid and why cant i be like that, hes always talking about her like that in my face but does not see the good i do. I just got unemployed 5 days ago and hes been acting so mean lately, doesnt want sex really, argues with me constantly and just does not act the same. yesterday i looked in his cell and found that girls name programmed in his phone. I looked to see if they talk and under is recent calls it shows they talked for 2 hours at 5:30 am at work. I asked him and he said it was wrong and that it was 5 minute call so she could leave her post. im soooo sad and praying hes not cheating on me. what does it sound like to yall? =*(

2006-10-06 14:31:51 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

39 answers

Well I worked the graveyard shift myself, it is very hard on a person and a relationship. I think he might have feeling for the person, but your mind does very strange things when you are very tired- it will not last w/ her..You should talk with him, be very sensitive to his feelings. Most people on graveyard shift feel the REGULAR world has no idea what it is like to work all night. Be with him before he leaves and when he gets home (know what I mean?) . Don't give up on your relationship.. good luck!

2006-10-06 15:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by carpet man 2 · 0 0

I'm sorry you are going through this, I do know how much it hurts. I am 36 years old, and have had this experience. If he's not already cheating, he's wanting too - that's how it sounds. First thing I want you to know - it is not your fault. I was with someone like that, had me feeling so low about myself, that even when I found out he was cheating, I was afraid to leave because "who else would want me?" I learned real quick. I was fine! It's HIM. I finally got the courage to leave. It hurt A LOT, and it took time - but it was the best thing I did for myself. Listen, if you find out it's true, or if your gut is telling you it's true - just end it, because you will have a lot of trouble regaining that trust, and each time he runs out to the store, goes to work, etc. - your going to be wondering if that is where he's REALLY going. You don't want to live your life that way. Find out, and then take care of yourself and those children.

2006-10-06 15:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0 0

All indications are that he's cheating. If he complains because you've only been unemployed for five days, he might be looking to start a fight to have an excuse to run out. More bad news; if a cell phone says it was a two hour call, it was a two hour call (technology apparently isn't as stupid as him). This is probably the most painful advice I could ever give, but leave him before he leaves you; it's a lot less painful in the long run. I've been there, love; all of the excuses, BS, lies. My heart really goes out to you; it really does. email me directly if you need to talk. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. God be with you

2006-10-06 14:42:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Hes on a very thin line of possible cheating, and when a cell shows times they are not wrong so he is lying, its hard to say in situation as these if there would be anyway of therapy or getting away from his that may be a good idea, Question is is he the type of person who you wanted to marry and the question popped up but he always never wanted to if he is be very cautious alot of me never marry for the reason they wount be attached and can break a relationship at a whim, sounds to me a controlling man who anyone woman shouldnt be with, think about the possibility of leaving him.

2006-10-06 14:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Quasar1 3 · 0 0

i would talk to him without raising your voice and ask him if he still loves you.,and is there anything you can do together to make this relationship work.Being unemployed for 5 days, is just a reason to argue, I would say if he's not cheating yet,it will happen very soon. But, on the other hand, I would not be with a man that many years and not be married, if that is what i wanted.I hope things work out for you.

2006-10-06 15:04:15 · answer #5 · answered by jan 3 · 0 0

Sounds to me like he has found some new stuff. After over six years then things start to get stale and when some young thing comes along he starts to think he may be missing out. Why else would he be in such a bad mood, complaining about you and comparing you to her, talking to her on the cell for so long? Do you think they were talking about WORK? I don't think so. I don't know what the answer is to your problem but I want you to know I can imagine what you are going through and sympathize with you. If I were you I would think about the kids and myself. Do what you can to secure your future. If he thinks you are leaving and taking the kids, he may come to his senses. God be with you

2006-10-06 15:00:28 · answer #6 · answered by KieKie 5 · 0 0

If he is not cheating on you then he is showing all the signs of wanting to cheat on you.Personaly I think he is cheating on you but I also believe he loves you and wants you to be just like that chic he works with.We all know you cant be like her.Everyone is different and if he thinks she is a better woman than you then set him free.he will never find happiness in his life.He`s a runner.Gotta find the next new better thing.His road wont never end and you and the kids dont need to be a part of this.Put him out of the house or if it`s easier leave him.Yeah it`s gonna hurt you and the kids but take the hurt now and prevent hurt a life long of hurt on you and those kids.Wish you luck.

2006-10-06 15:10:36 · answer #7 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0 0

hate to say it but all signs point to cheating

my ex when he cheated on me when and if we had sex it would be awesome then he would treat me like **** the cell phone well if that doesnt sound off big warning bells whistes and alarms it should y would anyone call someone at 520 in the mornin unless they were trying to be sneaky

you know in your heart whats goin on now get yourself out of denial he is infatuated with the other woman if he wasnt he wouldnt be throwing her up in your face u need to talk to him confront him and decide where to go from there

can u live with someone u cant trust and if you do will u be able to trust him in the futre and forgive him for his indiscresion if u answer no then u need to take the kids and go if your not happy the kids will know and it will eventually affect your parenting after all if mommys not happy nobodys happy

good luck in your decisions you have a lot to deal with i just hope i could help break out of deniall and face the problem head on but one more word of advice if u leave him dont bash him to the kids if ya do the kids will resent u the kids love him even if hes the bigest jerk on earth kids love unconditionally dont let your feelings for him affect your relationship with your kids and when u deal with him be civil u dont have to be friends but be polite the kids will thank you for it when they get older

2006-10-06 20:49:41 · answer #8 · answered by kissfan1979 2 · 0 0

You should be proud of yourself as a mother and a woman.

I think you need to get to the bottom of it. If he is cheating, as much as it might hurt, in the long run it is better if you find out the truth.

I think you should perhaps hire a private investigator or something, if you can afford it. Another option is to get the phone records from the phone company, then confront him with that.

You need to look out for your children and yourself. If this continues and you still have no evidence but feel there is something to this you need to go to this girls house, crying and tell her he told you everything. Then wait for her reaction.

2006-10-06 14:37:09 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer J 2 · 0 0

Our minds play tricks at times like this.

Ask your heart what is going on, your heart knows... you must be strong enough to accept
the verdict without going crazy.

If possible, try to get away with your kids for awhile. Moms and Dads usually understand things like this and if possible that would be the place to go.

You need time to chill for a minute or two.

Pray!

2006-10-06 14:46:50 · answer #10 · answered by xman77 3 · 0 0

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