okay, so this is complicated but these are the basics:
-my mom had a really strict mom, and she kind of built on her principles and decided that girls "shouldn't" have crushes or stuff like that till highschool, which meant that neither me or my sister told my mom about crushes or ANYTHING
-my mom brought up the topic, and i decided, on an impulse, that i was going to talk to my sister.
-i talked to her about crushes and told her everyone has them, but because we NEVER talk about that stuff, it was really awkward, and she was nice about it but we still feel awkwards...
-i told her that because my mom is the way she is, she doesn't really need to tell her anything, and told her she doesn't need to tell me anything...that's what i do..i just dont' tell my family, and it works for me, but did i give the wrong advice?
-NOW, i'm just pretending it never happened, and i don't really know if i should just let it go or talk about it more?
-i know its weird, but i feel like i need advice...
2006-10-06 13:35:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She will find out from friends and by her own experiences. You did the best you could. If you feel like you gave her the wrong info or left things out. Just let her know that she can come to you no matter what. And you wont judge her, And for you feeling awkward about it you are going top have to get over that. Because she cant go to your mom she may need to know that you are there for her. Just do the best you can. Good luck!
2006-10-06 13:42:43 · answer #1 · answered by sweetsnickers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that pretty well will cut her off from talking to anyone who would care about her enough to be of real help, won't it? You don't talk to your mother, and now your sister isn't likely to feel encouraged to talk to you either.
Your mother hasn't said she wasn't willing to talk to you about boys and crushes and such, at least not from what you wrote. She brought up the topic, as a matter of fact- which means she is willing to talk about these things with you and your sister. Just because she doesn't think it's a good idea to do doesn't mean she won't be willing to help you if you have problems you need advice with. The akwardness feeling is pretty normal, and everyone feels a little odd discussing matters of the opposite sex, attractions, and the like with their parents. Parents feel a bit awkward talking about it as well, but that doesn't mean we won't do it when it's needed. And truly, there is no better person to discuss things with than your mother, and between your sister and you.
It may also be you misunderstand your mother's meaning, or intentions. I'm sure she wants you to have your minds less on the boys, and more on the studies- but she isn't silly enough to think you won't notice them. Only to want you to put everything in proportion of importance to you and your life.
What happens if you really, really need help (or your sister needs the help), and you need somebody you know you can rely on? Do you really to seek support from a friend- who may know less than you, and have less experience- or a person who really has no interest one way or the other? Or would you rather have the support of somebody who loves you? At least if your mom makes a bad decision, which would be rare- she made the best one she could, and made it in love. That's more than you will ever be able to say for anyone else.
My advice is that you develop a more trusting relationship with your mother, both you and your sister, and quit pretending things don't happen. You need your mother's experience, knowledge, love and support to grow into strong young women. You might not always like her advice, and you may not agree with her views, but time will show you there is a wisdom in them you can't see right now. You would benefit far more from openness and communication than you ever will by silence. Pretending it isn't so doesn't make it not so.
2006-10-06 14:11:07 · answer #2 · answered by The mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well in my own experience I never had anyone to talk to, which was pretty messed up. If you bothered to tell her why didn't you at least let her know that you'd be there for her when she needed someone to talk to about crushes and other things. That was pretty messed up on your part, just because you didn't have anyone to talk to doesn't mean you should do the same to your sister.
2006-10-06 14:09:21 · answer #3 · answered by eld13 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i think that the promble here was that you shoudnt be the one taking to your sister your mother was but theres a deeper problem here and it is that because of your mothers actitud you can develop comunication with her and thats bad you should feel that you can trust her about evryting especially in things like if you like a boy or not talk to a teacher you trust or some adult who can talk to your mom about thata and how you feel about the way she acts hope i could help
2006-10-06 13:42:41 · answer #4 · answered by user 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Woah! Awkwardest difficulty ever yet i could wait and spot if something went extra effective along with your dad's female chum and your dad. i'm no longer asserting no longer get closer along with your dad's female chum's son yet do no longer attempt to get too plenty into him. desire I helped!
2016-10-02 00:43:35 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
>>-NOW, i'm just pretending it never happened, and i don't really know if i should just let it go or talk about it more?<<
I don't think anyone could talk you out of talking about it :).
2006-10-06 13:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by patweb01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if she has a bf or how her bf is doin and then offer info about your bf or crush
2006-10-06 13:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just continue to keep it to yourself.
2006-10-06 14:08:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋