I have agreed to marry a man that is in Prison for life I really do care about him but being away from him I have started thinking that I made a mistake. I wrote him a letter and explained that I still care for him but I think we should rethink the marriage thing and I really do not know how he will react. Should I just write him another letter and lie and tell him that I was having a bad day and say I still want to marry him or should I be honest and not worry about how he will react? I honestly care for him but not ready to make that kind of commitment to someone who is in jail and may possibly never get out. So if you were in my shoes what would you do?
2006-10-06 12:54:08 · 33 answers · asked by confused7873 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank you so much for all your answers you have helped me see that I made the right choice.
2006-10-06 13:02:55 · update #1
Just to let all that have asked he is in prison but he also is innocent with DNA to prove that so he really did not commit any crime just wanted to clear that up.
2006-10-06 13:09:57 · update #2
Well, honestly what sort of committment can he really offer you? You can't cuddle with him or ever have any sort of security with him. He's not available due to his own (past) actions. Do you really think you should have to pay the price along with him? I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do but I really think you deserve better. And he deserves your honesty. Unless you're happy being alone forever.
2006-10-06 12:57:51 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is he in prison for? And why would you want to commit yourselt to someone like that? What kind of marriage would that be--he would never be there for you when you come home from work after having a bad day, he won't be able to help with the household expenses or chores. You can still care about him without marrying him. What if someone really special comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet, and then you ask this prison man for a divorce--I mean, they do have outside friends that could really hurt you--physically.
2006-10-06 13:02:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how much you may care for this person, there is no way they can be part of your day to day life. If you want to be friends with this person then thats fine, but to basically put your own life on hold for someone who can never be part of it is crazy. What can you possibly get out of marrying this person? So dont write again as you would be making a crazy life choice that can only end up in tears. Think about yourself and the things you want and find someone who can share in them. If this person in jail cannot deal with that then that's their problem as they are the ones that have obviously commited a crime.
2006-10-06 12:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a relationship is a commitment and it sounds as though he's already committed to a life behind bars. What kind of relationship would you have together. Let's say you went for a conical visit and that one time in a million you get pregnant. Then you bring a baby into the situation. And then no matter how you decide you feel you will always have a bond with that man. And don't you think you're going to meet someone that's who you want to spend your life with and have a family with him? I think you need to reconsider this entire situation. Good luck.
2006-10-06 13:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you asked, so here goes! Why the hell would you want to marry someone in prison? Do you see a bright future in a relationship of this nature? Do you have a low opinion of yourself? Marriage is a partnership, both sides contributing equally. What will be his contribution? For him, it would be a win win situation, For you, a losing situation, no matter how you look at it. You may feel sorry for him, and he may be truly remorseful for his crimes, but that doesn't mean you have to marry him! There are better ways to help in-mates deal with doing the time. Don't be a sucker!
2006-10-06 13:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by rebecca_sld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be hard because if you love someone it sucks to hurt them, but you really have no future (children,vacations,dates,ect)
He has feelings too, but he has to pay the consequences for his actions that landed him in prison. You should tell him the truth because in the long run you will end up miserable and you should be happy with someone who can take care of all your needs. Also marriage is no joke, don't get into something and then divorce. Make the right choice so when you do marry it will be forever. Good Luck Sweetie
2006-10-06 13:01:34 · answer #6 · answered by Nattie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prison for life, for what that is the question....Should you put your life on the back burner for a man that is in prison for life? if he loves you he would tell you to go on with your life cause his is defiantly standing still. and if he is in jail for a crime of passion he will not be the man you know when he gets out. It is a fact that men the spend life in prison are introduced to sex with other men. I know you must have seen the movies that duplicity that life. now do you really think that you can have an intimate relationship with a man that has been in jail for years that might have had been raped by another man and in fact liked it after it became a form of life in jail.. Oral sex or anal sex with a man is still gay. If you should let him go but keep writing so that he doesn't feel abandoned..
2006-10-06 13:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by dee-dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, hes not in prison for life then, if DNA will clear him. If you dont want to marry him, then I wouldnt. If youre having any doubts at all, then you better not do it. Listen to your heart and your mind. Itll tell you what to do.
Even if you did really love him, you have no future with him if he were to be in prison for life. Please think about it, you could have a beautiful future ahead of you if you marry the right man. The one you cant live without. Best of luck.
2006-10-06 14:00:28 · answer #8 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off marrying someone in prison and com mitting to someone that can not share in your life sounds sad. Just think you won't wake up with him every day and have him there to share your day with, then what happens when one day you meet the man of your dreams and you can't committ to him because you are married to a man behind bars that can offer you nothing but words of love, an illusion that can't be filled. I would rather have someone I can share my life with, he made the choice to break the law and have his freedom taken from you, do you want to make the choice to have yours taken from you?
2006-10-06 13:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by preshus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to think about what you want out of life, I know and uderstand that you can care for someone deeply and all but if you truely feel that you dont want to marry this man the being honest to him is the only right way to go. dont lead him on to beleive something that is not going to happen cause when it comes down to it telling him the truth now is going to hurt but not hurt as bad if you were to wait and make him beleive something that wasnt. Good Luck,.
2006-10-06 13:00:02 · answer #10 · answered by uncle_fester2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋