I have a daughter and giving my visitation and parental rights up. I can't care for her emotionally and financially. This was unexpected and I wanted my ex to have a abortion or consider giving the baby up. She said she couldn't risk a abortion (long story) and wanted to keep her. I'm ******* scared. I'm 28 and I don't want to pay child support! There is already a court order for us and she doesn't want me to give up my rights because that is denying my child the right of knowing me. I don't want a child in my life! What the **** is she talking about? She said it's my choice of what I do in making a positive or negative impact and my actions are negative. WTF?? I live in California! I never sent in my responsive papers to her or the court either. Does that already look bad on me???
2006-10-06 12:09:55 · 13 answers · asked by tribecanyc24 t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm drive a $70,000 mercedes my mom gave me because I can't afford to buy a car on my own. I barely can pay rent.
2006-10-06 12:20:10 · update #1
I can't sign over my rights. Not in the state of california. They won't allow you too! I can give it up but i still have to pay child support!!! ****** sucks!
2006-10-06 12:27:52 · update #2
Maybe you should have thought about all this befor e-u had unprotected sex-Men like you are horrible and should be put in a locked closet not ever to come out-u have a responsibility now and the courts will make u pay-GROW UP U jerk
2006-10-06 12:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your case is not unlike a recent writer into the Dear Abby, except in that case it was the mother who did want the child. Her husband is on active duty.
First, I've been a father's rights advocate since 1989, so most of the cases I see are from the perspective of father's who are denied access, or their child is being aborted by the mother.
Frankly, you have got yourself in a pickle because you put your pickle into someone you were not committed to, with the intent to have children. If you didn't want children, than you should get a vasectomy. Under the current legal system, you have no legal rights to abort your responsibility, especially once an order is in place. you could not even get it overturned if you weren't the father.
Every week, I tell young men that if they don't want children, they need to get a vasectomy. If later, they decide they want children, they can get it reversed. The male birth control bill is a long way off, since women's groups are blocking government money for it, and unlike the current side affefects include epidence. Unlike women, sexual performance and reproductive health are combined in men.
You have an 18+ year lesson to learn in that sticking our tallywhacker into places it don'tr belong until there is a commitment. And yes, you will be paying the greatest part of the lesson, as at any time, she could decide to give up the child and not be held resonsible. that is the way of our society.
2006-10-07 04:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is so many things that went through my mind when I read this. I am the flip side of your scenario. I was 18 when I had my son and his father was much like you. Here is the thing. There is always the chance that you may want to be in this childs life later. A child does not need an emotionally unstable parent. Your finacial situation is not important to me. You cannot pop up one day and say I am dad. It does not work that way. I can tell you that not a day will go by that you will not think of your little girl. Your heart will bleed for her. I can assure you. If not now then later. Fear is always the first response. If you are truelly emotionally unstable remove yourself PERMANENTLY. Do not remove yourself then pop back in later. If she falls in love and find someone that your daughter will call dad let it be. Be advised that she will probally hate you. That is reality. If child support is your main concern then you are going to spend a lot of tearful nights. Once again that is reality. You have stepped in an all or nothing scenario. Here is another bit of advice...relationships with decent women is going to be very difficult. They are going to see abandonment of your daughter the worse thing possible. I assure you. Really think about it. THink past the money and think if for the next 18-20 years you want your flesh and blood to call someone else daddy.
2006-10-09 22:48:05 · answer #3 · answered by 2fine4u 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What shes trying to tell you is that if you have nothing to do with your child, then your child will never her real father. Kids need their fathers growing up and what youre doing right now will impact her in the wrong (negative) way growing up and for the rest of her life. The past is gone but what you do now is going to show the real you. You are this little girls father so be a real man and step up for her and give her a father she can be proud of forever. After all you were man enough to get her mother pregnant so be the man enough to take responsibility for her now so we wont have to. You can do it! Do the right thing, youll be glad you did. Good luck
2006-10-06 19:19:34 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a man!
Your man enough to stick that little thing in her, maybe you should have thought about this before the deed.
Now it's too late and who really cares what you want right now.
You have a child that needs you to step up and be a man.
It is not about the child support, it is about being in the kid's life. Being a positive part of the childs life and helping the child develop into a good human being.
28 is an adult age...start acting like one.
2006-10-06 19:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry for the way this is going to sound because it is going to sound really harsh. If you can lay there and get someone pg then you should have to pay for it and help her out even if you don't want anything to do with the baby you helped her get this way so you should have to help pay for it not just her. If you think that you were not ready for it then you should not have had SEX WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!! It really makes me mad with this happens because you guys think that it is all our fault and it isn't. No this did not happen to me the father of my kids helps and he has everything to do with them, but there are fathers out there that want something to do with their kids and can't because of the mother being a B**** and then you get people like you that don't respect the fact of being a father and not just the sperm donor.
2006-10-06 19:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing for you to do is sit down and think about whether or not 10 years from now if you would regret not having the child in your life. If not, the best thing that you can do for the child is sign over your rights
2006-10-06 19:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by CHOCOLATE_SCORP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shame on you. You have no right to ask someone to give up their child for your own immaturity. You are looking for an easy way out of being responsible for your actions. What you are is a dead beat dad.
2006-10-06 19:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
even though you didn't want a daughter, you and the ex are emotionally tied to this daughter. You have to explain your situation to the judge. Hoping that the judge won't allow you to pay a dime to the mother becuase you two were never married and if your ex wants to keep the baby then her family have to support the baby financially.
2006-10-06 19:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your Mom gave you a $70K mercedes? On one hand you want to be an adult and do adult stuff like relationships and sex, and on the other hand you let Mommy buy you a Mercedes? Be an adult, tell Mommy you need to sell the Mercedes to care for HER granddaughter, or at least to get a good lawyer.
2006-10-06 19:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋