How can I tell my sister in law that she is ruining her marriage to my brother?

Question

She is pregnant...I have been pregnant twice, it is not cancer.
She is costantly complaining about her pains, she is so sick, however she can wolf down Taco Bell, Gold Star Chili & McDonalds with no problem AND get seconds and thirds at the dinner table.
She has missed tons of work, not because of Dr. appts, not because of complications, because she is lazy and wants to watch FRIENDS DVD's all freaking day.
She has used this pregnancy as a crutch to get out of her share of housework as well.
They are financially strapped and she is the bread winner, the one with the insurance, the main source of family finacial security.
All she talks about is the pregnancy, nothing else ever.
My brother is depressed, he spends alot of time with friends playing poker on the internet, etc, looking for an escape.
I love my SIL and want to tell her to be a wife & a person NOT just a pregnancy before she loses her marriage. When the baby is born it will get worse I can see that.
No intimacy there

Answer 1

Well maybe your brother also needs to find a better supporting job as well. I know a girl at my work who is doing the same exact thing as your sister in law. She just likes the attention she is getting by saying she is sick. She even tells us she is spotting and throwing up and then in another sentence tells us she does not feel pregnant. I stopped giving her the attention she wants. If I were you I would just stay out of your brothers relationship and look at your life instead he is the one living it.

Answer 2

I know u are only looking out for their best interest but it is your brother's job to tell her to straighten up. They are about to have a child so why doesn't your brother get his own job too? They both sound like two irresponsible adults.

Answer 3

I dunno, sounds like this might be a MYOB situation. They chose each other in marriage, let them work it out. Pregnancy has impact on personality, but I'm more than certain her personality flaws had manifested themselves before they even got married. Getting in the middle of a family dispute in a losing proposition, IMO.

Answer 4

Why don't you invite her over one day to ahve lunch and have a chat? Just be sincere and tell her you know how hard it is to be pregnant and you can be sypathetic towards her "situation" but you also want your brother to be happy.

Not only that but you need to ahve a talk with your borther. You're right she doesn't have cancer and she's not dying, he needs to stand up to his wife and tell her to get her "stuff" together.

Answer 5

tell her what you said here. Don't yell back if she starts yelling. Remain calm. Pregnancy can cause a women to lose control of her emotions. Tell your brother to support her more, and be honest of how he feels. Tell him to be up front with her, and maybe your brother should go to her parents and talk to them about this problem. Maybe they can urge her a bit to do things differently. Remeber not to sound like you are attacking her.

Answer 6

Straight up tell her. But dont over step your boundarys its there marriage and your brothers battles. Choose your battles wisely, say the wrong thing and you may alienate him instead of her.

Answer 7

unless she asks you for your opinion and/or advice my advice to you is to mind your own business, stay out of it, take care of your own situation...she's not going to thank you for the above information, and its probably going to cause her more stress, she's pregnant, be supportive or let her be...

Answer 8

I can just imagine that she is overweight..............no offense.......but she has big issues......you better talk to her.