While I try to explain it's me and not him, he can't help but take it personally. I can get there with a vibrator or the right shower attachment, but not with foreplay or intercourse and being on top is actually painful (like being stabbed in the stomach) Does anyone have any advice. I've tried using a toy simutaneously, but that doesn't work. Is there anyone else with this problem?
2006-10-06 10:38:43 · 27 answers · asked by bml28 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The "painful" part is a concern. You need to speak with your doctor about it - as it's NOT standard for a woman to feel that type of stabbing pain. As far as reaching orgasm during intercourse, not every woman does. I don't. I require external stimulation. It's take some time and some experimentation to get it all working together with hubby, but it can be done. First, stop stressing about it. Hubby is feeling the pressure to make you "***" and you're feeling the pressure to let him know that he pleases you. Have FUN with it. Let him watch you with the toy or shower attachment, etc., explore, PLAY. Your attitude and approach can make all the difference in the world. (But please tell your doctor about the pain - cause that's not good).
2006-10-06 10:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The pain on top is mostly like that he's too big for you. I had a guy like that once, and ouch. Try positions that get a shallower penetration, like spooning. But yeah, I have that problem too. No matter how hard I try I just canNOT get there during intercourse. What I do is get my O during foreplay, then just enjoy the actual intercourse for what it is.
Hopefully I won't get booted for this being too much details, but I have heard that some women need to train themselves to do this. But anyway, the point was to slowly introduce the penis into the vagina during orgasm. To start off my masturbating to orgasm and then having intercourse right afterwards to shortening the length of time until he's entering you AS you O, and shortening the time until you O when he's actually IN you. If that makes sense. A series of steps that just slowly draws you closer and closer. I've never tried it, honestly, because my husband doesn't really notice when I don't (cause I don't tell him. lol) plus I've just learned to enjoy sex for what it is, O or not. *shrug*
You're not alone though.
2006-10-06 10:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband actually has a very similar problem. He can go for hours without "finishing". He's always had a problem to some extent with this and his ex-wife in the five years they were together never could finish the job.
I can tell you from my side, it's very frustrating, he says it's not me but I still sometimes feel inadequate.
After months of trying and me not obsessing about it (which made matters worse), I was finally able to get him there but I still can't do it on a regular basis.
My advise is to tell him what works, what speed, what rythm, etc. Talk openly about the situation and keep encouraging him that it's not him, it's very easy to get discouraged when you can't make the person you love happy physically.
Part two to my advise, do you ever finish the job yourself while he watches? Guys really get turned on by that and that way he doesn't feel like he's left you unsatisfied.
Good luck!
2006-10-06 11:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by Terra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try using the toys as well as manual stimulation together, also try to relax during foreplay and not think so much as to whether you are going to climax or not and just enjoy, if there is something that he does that makes you feel really good tell him so that way he can keep doing it. As well if you find girl on top painful try doggie style but tell him not to go too deep and that may help you to climax as well cause you can also stimulate yourself during with either your finger or a vibrator.
2006-10-06 10:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by Bettie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very common problem that most women don't like to admit to. I myself had the same problem with my husband and just like you, I would tell him it wasn't him that it was me. Most men do not understand when you tell them, because, obviously, they can always orgasm during sex. I ended up having to speak with my doctor and explain to her the situation. All I needed to do was to relax a little bit more. Come to find out, I was so worried about whether or not I could achieve an orgasm, that I wasn't relaxing and enjoying making love. Try relaxing and just take in everything that your husband is doing to you. Try different positions also. If it is too painful for you to be on top, try doggie style or side to side. There are alot of different techniques that you and your husband can try together. I hope that everything works out for you and if I can help anymore, just email me @ davidsgirl4282001@yahoo.com
2006-10-06 10:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean does love end? NO! Love after marriage alterations, confident, yet each little thing alterations. Love and marriage are a journey, no longer an merchandise. it is not something you get or have taken away. it rather is a technique you nurture. The extra artwork a pair places into it, the extra they get out of it, married or no longer. Marriage is a dedication to the journey and the guy, that enables motivate whilst cases get no longer common. the only way love ends, is whilst couples provide up on it. That has no longer something to do with marriage.
2016-12-26 11:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A problem that you should bring to your physician. Not being one I couldn't even begin to surmise what your problem may be. I have know a couple of women whose complaint was similar. They couldn't reach orgasam unless by oral stimulation. To them they didn't find intrcourse uncomfortable...but it can't possibly be enjoyable when there is no feeling.
As far as your husband goes...we men all like to think of ourselves as great lovers. That's why you shouting out "Yeah..yeah...gimme that thing!" makes us feel all the more macho about Big Jim and the Twins. Easily bruised egos. As soon as you get a diagnosis let hubby in on it. I suspect everything will be just fine for you.
The best of luck on this madam.
2006-10-06 10:50:14 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep communicating and exploring, and consider seeing a doctor just to rule out any medical conditions (the stabbing feeling sounds worth checking out).
See a couples counselor to work on the emotional side of the relationship.
2006-10-06 10:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be really frustrated.....
It almost sounds like there is a position that really trips your trigger! I have found many women *** in different ways, and you sound like you are no different.
it almost sounds like it is your g-spot that really gets you going.... in which case, there is a trick with his fingers that he might be able to get to it. Another position to try would be doggie or having a pillow under your butt when he is on top, also have your legs up by your head too. (better access to this area...)
if this doesn't help, try different positions until you find one that finally hits your spot, and when you do, let him know so he can make sure he hits it on a regular basis!
2006-10-06 10:50:09 · answer #9 · answered by brian c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of this before i don't know exactly to tell you why it happens. Maybe you could let him in the shower w/you or let him use the vibrator on you to start things & go from there.
It will probaly be a big turn on for both of you!
2006-10-06 10:43:54 · answer #10 · answered by Erolynne T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋