Should I be worried if my girlfriend won't tell me how many sexual partners she's had?

Question

I answered her inquisition about my past, very detailed, names and numbers but she won't return the favor. Should I be worried about this?

Answer 1

Uh-oh ~ I think the question you should be asking is 'did you always use protection' or 'when was the last time you were checked for VD's' or 'is this a sign of what is to come - I'll be honest, but you don't have to be?'. The fact that the question possibly should never have been asked is mute, it was asked and that's done. I am personally a very honest person and I would expect the same respect from my other half (friend or lover; male or female). If they can't be honest with you about something as menial as a number, then what will they 'choose' to tell you about when confronted with more important issues? I found out when I was a 'wee lassy' that just because YOU can be trusted, doesn't mean that everyone else can be. If I was asked that question and chose not to answer, I certainly wouldn't ask it of you if I wasn't willing to answer it myself.... its just not cricket! Thusly, I would never ask someone (anyone) a question I myself would'nt want to be asked. I'm sure you've already realized that the 'number' here is no longer the issue. The issue is trust, or at this point, the lack of trust, and whether or not you're willing to persue or continue a relationship where trust is lacking. I personally believe it to be the backbone of a healthy relationship, as it would appear you do, also, for having been honest yourself (even if a bit overly, so - for future reference, no chick needs to know names and numbers - some of us may ask more than we really want to know sometimes, but that kind of knowledge can only bear hard feelings, especially if she knows any of those you mentioned). You already know you're questioning her 'intentions'..... what are YOU going to do about it? Does she flat out refuse to answer? Is she that embarrassed about her past? Did she ever ask you, or did you volunteer the info. in hopes that it would make her more comfortable answering you? It's all a matter of human psychology and what your 'gutt' tells you about your relationship - I can promise you one thing, if she's reluctant to be honest with you about something this harmless, she will be reluctant to be honest about grander issues AND if she's reluctant to be honest, ya have to wonder why! We all have skeletons, but some have complete graveyards!! Be careful where you step!!

Answer 2

No, you should not be worried about this. You should break up with her and find a more mutually respectful relationship. Give her a last chance though, I suppose, and tell her why you're leaving. If there is no reciprocity in this sort of matter in a relationship, then the power differential will be unholy terror in your future relationship.

Worry? Whatever. It's about being fair and showing care for the other person's feelings. She is currently failing on both regards.

Answer 3

Don’t take it personal, sometimes women are ashamed or ever disgusted of what they have done, see, women go true stages in there life, this happens to men also. Some times we fell lonely or our self-esteem is low on these episodes we do stupid things or the age of rebellion, trine to be free or there’s the fun times all this has made her now who she is strong, and I bet you she will not go true that again it is painful we do not know what we are doing to our self in tell we see the whole picture from the out side that is call the time of maturity some come to this at a early age and so never leave this area, I hope this helps you.

Answer 4

I think she is worried you will not be able to handle it, so she is keeping it from you. It could be the extreme of her still being a virgin or having a low number of partners. Furthermore she can be at the extreme of having several hundred partners. She may not be ready to share with you her past until she feels her relationship with you is strong, or stronger. I do not believe you should be WORRIED, unless you are judgmental. As long as you practice safe sex, which is abstinence or always wearing a condom.

Answer 5

I believe that when you are in a relationship that asking detailed questions on a persons past sexual encounters are irrelevant. I am married and my husband and I don't even discuss that, because, what for? We have a new life together and my past should not matter to him nor does his. We are healthy and clean..so why bother with nonsense?

Answer 6

Frankly I don't think either one of you should worry about such things. All that is water under the bridge. Let it go. And even if you did "spill your guts," there is still a double standard in this country. Men are looked on as experienced and virile if they've had a lot of "conquests." Women are looked upon as cheap and as tramps if they have pursued the same satisfaction. Let it go.

Answer 7

Trust me, it's NOT a "favor" to know who your partners have been, other than for health reasons. It is NOT good information to have. It will be burned in your brain forever, how she did it with them, when, who, why, etc. It's normal and it's not information that is essential for ANY relationship, except, as I said, for health reasons. She is a wise girl to keep her mouth shut. And you should have kept yours shut. You're just a tad nosey, perhaps? Trying to get it out of her? Hm. And yes, men LOOOOOVE to bring that crap up in an argument. Yes. Wise girl. Even Dr. Phil agrees with this.

Answer 8

Maybe she has one of the following:
1. Way more partners in her past than you and thinks you may judge her or be jealous.
2. Way fewer partners in her past than you and is embarrassed by your numbers!
Either way, don't fret over it. It'll all come out later if you stay together!

Answer 9

None of your beeswax, buddy. And you didn't have to fess up either. You will live to regret that. When she is mad or broken up with you, the whole world will know who and how many and what.for. May as well paint a sign on your garage.
I have had dozens of boyfriends, been married 3 imes and currently living in sin. You think I am going to give the guy a litany of my whole life? I DON't EVEN remember!!
What is important to my BIG GROWN UP MAN is that I treat him like a prince, know what to do and when, and am faithful and devoted to him. I am nice to waiters and homeless people and kind to rich people. I spoil him rotten, and he loves it. What does he care?

Answer 10

NO. You should not. Girls may want to move on about stuff, and get on with the next guy. If there is some suspicion, then you have to do what you think is right. No one on here can tell you weither you should do something, or not. Listen to your heart. Also, though, give her some faith.