Is there any gay men out there that believes in monogomy?

Question

Is there any gay men out there that has/had or is in a long term relationship with a live in partner that thought they were in a monogomous relationship only to find out thier partner has/had been cheating on them the entire time?

Goldwing - I've limited it to gay because my question is about GAY relationships - Others - From the answers I'm getting it sounds like it depends on what you think about sex - I do not see sex as recreational like alcohol or what ever - I see it as an act performed as part of the confirmation of two people who truely love each other and have made and exclusive commitment to each other. Anything less seems to cheapen and degrade the act to me. I guess it gets down to where your moral standing is. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

I have had a situation like this for 9 years and now i am in a committed relationship.I made it perfectly clear from the beginning and after 1 year he signed half his fortune to me as a sign to show how much he valued what we have.
No other has made me feel so good 24/7

Answer 2

If you're interested and committed to a monogamous relationship, then that's great, good for you.

But I ask you, why is that so important to you as a gay man? Monogamy is a traditional value of people in straight relationships because it presumably reinforces familial ties and supportive environments for children. American society has built up sexual fidelity as an important cultural element in movies, literature and our legal system. Many people believe that infidelity (or sleeping with multiple partners) puts into question the pair bond relationship between two people who try to live as primary partners.

Humans (male or female) have the ability to form committed relationships with a single partner, without being sexually exclusive to that partner. Its a 'dirty little secret' that straight people don't want to acknowledge publically, because it flies in the face of our Puritan American religious customs.

Humans in other cultures have less of a problem with this than we do, here in America.

Men (gay or straight) are particularly prone to infidelity. Its the subject of countless songs, movies, poems, books and TV programs.

My advice is to focus on the most important things you want from a relationship, and make those well known to your partner. If fidelity to you is the most important thing, then definitely find a partner that feels the same way.

If you want a 'happy' gay relationship, I would suggest making absolute fidelity less of a priority than things like emotional and financial support, general household responsibilities and committment to sharing your life together, irregardless of who you might be fooling around with in your off hours.

It's harsh to hear, I know. But unlike the other Yahoo's on here, its realistic and honest. Think of that when you make your own decisions.

Answer 3

In all seriousness, the question of mongamy among gay men should involve a two pronged approach: There is physical monogamy and then there is emotional mongamy.

I was willing to accept the fact that my partner had sex with other men as it was a mutual agreement.We both had sex with other people. Let's face it, as men we rationalize our urges in many ways. If you're gonna do it, just be honest about it. Sometimes a f*ck is just a f*ck. What's love got to do with it?

On the other hand............

It was only when he formed an emotional tie to another man---one of our 2 cardinal rules---which he was unwilling to dissolve that I decided to end a 12 year relationship.

(At the risk of offending my reader(s), in a strict empirical sense, anything less than a year shouldnt be serious considered as 'long term' no matter how much growth you both have achieved.)

There is no point in being partnered to a man who loves someone else or who does not love you.

My advice is not to hold on too dearly to what goes on below the belt, it's all about ego and one-upmanship anyway---pay attention to what the heart says---and move on from there.

Answer 4

Yes, all of us. And why do you limit this to Gay? Seems to me that most straight men cheat also..nature of the beast? Why be so naive as to think that yours OR you, for that matter, will be different..and why do you care so much..no one is getting pregers here, and if they play safe, so what. They come home...eventually with a great story about where they have been, held hostage by a bunch of terrorists, but it was kept hush hush by the FBI...well, that is one of the milder excuses I have heard, I pay it no nevermind. So far, none of it has efffected me. But on the other hand, you should see him if I am an hour or so late! That is when it really gets fun. Good luck

Answer 5

Yes Ive been in a monogomous relationship for 7 years now and everything seems normal

Answer 6

Me and my g0ymate have an emotionally monogamous relationship but we also have an open relationship.
We can have loving relationships with other men but each of us knows at the end of the day who he is coming home to. We also know who our life partner is and that although the human heart is capable of loving more than one the soul is mated for life.

Answer 7

there are lots of monogamus couples they just arnt mainstream,they tend to be busy with their lives.

why be in a monogamus relationship if you want to cheat ,many like the open relationship thing,but many dont really know how to form a relationship.

Answer 8

No, my relationship is and has been monogamous from the start. Six years and still going strong.

Answer 9

I have a danish friend who is married to his husband for several years, and they are absolutely monogam.

Answer 10

yep almost 22 years...