The past includes adultry which of course is not good, but 3 years past.
2006-10-06 09:01:22 · 19 answers · asked by stoneybrook231 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you need to hear it from somebody: She will NEVER forget.
Now, on a good note: she may be able to forgive and move on. Therapy/counseling, for each of you individually and as a couple, will be a huge help.
There is no quick fix for this problem. I'm sure you've mended your ways and don't need to be reprimanded. If not I'd strongly suggest you decide what your priorities in life are. If she really is a priority in your life and you take the initiative to keep her a priority (we're talking LONG term here) then she will eventually see that and come around. However, one thing that you both need to learn how to deal with is: because of your cheating there may be triggers that remind her of the hurt and pain you caused. THIS is why therapy is important for both of you.
My ex and I couldn't make it work after the cheating, a lot of couples can't, but there are the rare few who can and end up being happily together for years to come. I know a couple who have been together for over 30 years now - so it DOES happen.
2006-10-06 09:15:15 · answer #1 · answered by FeistyLady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had committed adultry, and then she found out and forgave you, she should let it go. If she doesn't, try some counselling. Because this was in the past (long back), and since then, you have been faithful, it will only improve your case.
I feel for you man. Just be as good as you can be and keep telling her that everyone makes mistakes and yours was bad. But if she feels you haven't paid for it yet, then you are in for a bit of anger. Enter the counsellor who may be able to guide her to release the anger in a different way.
2006-10-06 09:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by kettlechipsdude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 1st mistake is trying to get her to forget what happened. She will never forget it. What you want her to do is forgive you for it. But it takes longer for the her to get over it, because in her mind; she was the one betrayed. Counseling is always a good first step. She should probably go on her own first. Couples therapy for the both of you should be next. I'm sure in the couples therapy they will have some trust building practicing for the both of you. Once she says she forgives you, she must not return back to harassing about it.
2006-10-06 09:18:26 · answer #3 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure there's much you can do except to hope that time will eventually ease her emotions. You can help her by reminding her how much you love and care for her without bringing up the past. Do things that you know she enjoys doing and make her feel that you can be trusted and that's all you can really do for she has to be the one to work out her emotions. Support and love her and be patient because it takes time to mend a broken heart. Good Luck to the both of you!!!
2006-10-06 09:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U can't expect her to "forget" it and u should know that once trust is broken, it's going to take a long time for her to regain it. How long that takes depends on the person and yes, it can take yrs. Even then, it may never be 100% again. Just be patient...I know it's hard, but u owe her at least that much.
2006-10-06 09:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things can't be fixed. Your wife may have decided to punish you forever. Get some marriage counseling because I have no idea how you've been treating your wife these last 3 years. But you don't "get" someone to do anything.
2006-10-06 09:04:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in basic terms look at it as a concern which you got here upon from. existence throws subject concerns your way continuously. It feels like your on the the ideal selection track. as quickly as you get offended or experience harm approximately it, provide up your self and regulate your questioning. tell your self how super you're, and that existence is going on and photograph each and every of the best subject concerns which you will journey. i'm hoping that helped : )
2016-10-15 22:10:12 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you are doing everything to make her feel secure and #1 in your life. If she has nothing to complain about you then there would be no good reason for her to resort to anger and resentment. She did stay with you so that shows something.
2006-10-06 09:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That does not go away, ever!! No matter what it will always be with her and how much you disrespected her and your life together. Everytime you run lot or don't answer the phone she will wonder where you are, who you are with, and who you are doing. It's your fault now you have to decide what you want to do. You could try counseling it can help.
2006-10-06 09:05:52 · answer #9 · answered by Faith M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to what I've read it takes a minimum of 2 years to "START" to rebuild trust after an affair, so you are not there yet.
2006-10-06 09:26:34 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋