Adult question?

Question

I fancy a three some with my mrs and another bloke, and she thinks this is a bit perverted, and is not up for it at all. She has said under no circumstances will she ever do it. But i still have thoughts about it. Is this wrong and what should I do?

Answer 1

It is not wrong to have the thoughts, it is wrong to act out without your wifes permission. The mistake was to just drop it on her like a bomb. Dude, you have to be able to judge whether the woman is ready to hear such a thing. Plus, I am sure you made it out to be all about you, when really it needs to be all about her.

Okay, here is a step by step for you. If she balks at any step you are done.

1) Drop the subject entirely for at least 3 months.
2) Rent a porno, a soft core one, something from the couples section, make sure it has some MFM in it, and watch it together. When the MFM starts, you start on her, get her really excited. If she rejects, you are done. Don't say anything at this point. Maybe few days later, durign sex, bring up how horny it made you watching that scene. Get her back to that scene in her head. BUT DO NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING.
3) Take her out dancing with a group, and see if you can get another man interested in dancing with her. Tell her you are totally cool with it, but don't force it. Convince her you are cool seeing her with another man, in fact it turns you on. Again, see if she rejects the idea.
4) Again, wait until a week or so later and bring that up during sex, see how she reacts. Now is the time to very politley suggest you'd love to see her with another man, see how she reacts.
5) If you've made it this far, you have a good chance. Take her to a swingers club and see what she does.

If you can't tell, the key here is paticience. Make her think it is her idea, and that it is all about her.

Answer 2

I asked almost the same question yesterday and got a great response. There were some assholes who thought that it meant the guy was gay to want a threesome but they didn't make up the majority, more the minority. Anyway to try and help if i can. If your wife is dead set against it there is no way in the world you will ever be able to change her mind, however there are ways where you can get what you want and still keep your marriage intact. Are you familiar with the tem dogging? Well, you just need to go to a dogging location, take part in group sex and get your kicks that way. As long as you have safe sex then whats the harm? What she don't know about she can't moan about. If you are looking for dogging sites then go to swingingheaven.co.uk and they have a list of all dogging locations in the uk. Good luck m8.

Answer 3

Personally it aint my thing, but am curious as to why you want this......other than the fact you are a man, of course! Don't feel guilty for thinking, jees I'd have been shot by now if that were true!!! However, is it the guy YOU want, or to see your wife with another guy. If it's the guy, and you wanna cross over, kinda try before you buy thing, do you and your wife a favour and get some counselling so it can be talked over as maybe you shouldn't be married to a woman! If it's option 2, then you need to respect that she is not comfortable with it and leave it there. She married you to remain faithful and this suggestion obviously goes against her morals, even if it were to be with your blessing. Hope you work it out.

Answer 4

I wouldn't say it is wrong exactly, after all we all have fantasies, but obviously she doesn't share that fantasy with you, so I can't see it happening any day soon.
I think you should decide whether the fantasy is more important to you than your wife , and if it is ( but I sincerely hope it isn't ) then there is only one thing you can do....leave her !
In all seriousness though, you might just have to forget about it, try talking about it again and see if you can discover a fantasy that you can share without either of you feeling uncomfortable or pressurised .We all have different " needs" but we all also have to make certain sacrifices in order to make someone we love happy, in your case it would have to be giving up on the idea .
It is a difficult question to answer as it sounds as though you feel strongly about it . She must be in a horrible situation too though, think about how she feels, I would be mortified if my hubby suggested something like that ! You're not really meant to want to share your wife with someone else really, are you?
Well, wish you good luck, hope you sort it all out .

Answer 5

Don't do it, drop the subject, and don't insult your wife by giving her a hard time. She is right, it isn't a good or loving thing to do, there are only 2 people in a marriage and bringing a 3rd person into it causes untold damage. The physical act makes a spiritual connection, don't ever be fooled into thinking sex is purely physical.

Answer 6

Course it's not wrong. Thank goodness your thoughts are your own and cannot be seen by others.
We all have fantasies, at least I think we all do! It's a shame she doesn't want to but it's something you can't take any further really. Have you talked about meeting half-way? Maybe introduce something else that would be a bit different.... Videos, sex toys, oils and massage. doing it in an unusual and risky location? ( see my blog)

Answer 7

things like this are better kept as fantasies, they are much more exciting that way, chances are, if your wife went ahead with it, it wouldn´t be as you imagined it. and what would you do if your wife enjoyed it too much? she may end up seeing this bloke behind your back. these situations seem like they are a good idea, and everyone has them, but the more you act on them the more destructive they can become, i´m a relationship therapist, i´ve seen this happen alot, and most of the couples i have counselled, only sort part of the relationship, they can never go back to how things were before and it´s one of their bigger regrets. Maybe you feel this threesome would be exciting because you feel your relationship is missing something, try spicing up your sex life in a way that suits both of you and only keeps both of you involved. ask her what she would like to do in order to keep your sex life healthy, ask what her fantasy is. nut remember there is a reason why they are fantasies. if you can both think of ways to spice your sex lives up that you are both comfortable with then this threesome fantasy won´t feel as important. it may still be there, but you won´t have as strong an urge to act upon it

Answer 8

I think a lot of people have thoughts about this sort of thing, but that's usually it. Whatever you do though don't try and persuade your wife to go along with it. Eventually you may win her round but it could come back to haunt you. If it went wrong at best she would never let you forget or live it down, at worse it could drive her away.
Try diffrent things in your sex life without involving other people.

Answer 9

You have every right to 'fancy' something, it's not perverted, it's just your idea of fun. However, you asking this question proves that even you are having second thoughts about it as you are unsure, so just carry on dreaming, it's not worth it.

Answer 10

It's not wrong to have private thoughts about it but if your wife is uncomfortable with it, it would be unfair to pursue it further or put any more pressure on her. You may have to accept that it will be the end of your marriage if you are not able to push this desire to one side.

We all make sexual sacrifices in marriage - it's part of the deal. You just have to work out what's more important to you.