My friend told me that while she and her husband were having foreplay?

Question

he called out her sisters name. She was upset and wanted my advice.She's more confused because her husband say's it's only a sexual fantasy. I didn't know what to say as i 've never had this happen to me. Do you think it's wrong, or shall I tell her it's quite a common thing and not to worry about it? She did tell me that he doesn't do it while they are having sex, it's only when they are having foreplay

Answer 1

Calling out a sisters name is quite odd I must say. But one thing is true, he is doing it with the full intention what reaction it may get. You said he does it during foreplay so there is no climactic event occurring to make him yell out the sisters name by mistake.
The fact that your friend said it made her upset makes his actions WRONG! Its fine that calling out other peoples names turns him on due to some sort of fantasy. But doing it will the full knowledge that it will upset your partner... is disturbing.

Answer 2

Though this is horrible on the emotional sync for a woman, it is natural. Men are very visual. Imagination, or the real thing, i.e. the sexy lingerie will drive him wild. As long as he knows the boundaries. No touching the sister. Women can do the same, we to at times have fantasies due to a lack in variation of satisfaction. Like when you wear a pony tail one day but down the next day. Even with foreplay and intercourse, there needs to be a variety. He feels awful, mostly embarrassed and will clam up if the subject is brought up again. However, she DOES need to as a loving wife, openminded, address this and make it something fun, instead of scary. For instance, she could offer that he can have fantasies, however NOT the sister, pick someone together that is untouchable. Then the wife can do the same. Let each other know its ok to say these names. BUT you must still agree to make love together as a couple, looking into each others eyes. Make a balance or it can get twisted quickly. Be open minded. She could go to the thrift store and buy an outfit she would have a fantasy ripping off her hubby and visa versa for him. Above all, they need to talk, not sit down and have the tearful talk, but be able to laugh and share ideas. He will clam up if it seems he's being judged for what he let slip. Letting him know its ok with terms you both agree on will make it work and even bring you closer. Look into getting the Joy of Sex books and other materials to aide in bedroom ideas.

Answer 3

I wouldn't listen to those who say the husband is having sex with the sister, because they can't say for sure.

What I will say is that the husband needs to not do that. Calling out anyone elses name during foreplay or sex or whatever is poor marriage ethics. How long have they been married? He seems like maybe he's a dumbass or something. I mean, really. What does he expect her to think?

Anyway, I think it's probably more common than you'd think for a guy to fantasize about an encounter with their girlfriend's or wife's sister. Especially if she's attractive, or appealing in another way. Men fantasize about everything. EVERYTHING. Most most can imagine having sex with just about anything that moves.
That doesnt mean that he should verbalize it.

Tell your friend, that she needs to talk to her husband, very seriously. He could be cheating, but not likey. He's most likey screwing with her head, and trying to be an assh*le about it.

Remember, people often fantasize about the things they can never have. Just make sure your friend lets her husband know, that he can never have her.

More advice, tell your friend, that under no circumstance should she tell her sister. This will make everything much worse.

Answer 4

As long as it only stays a sexual fantasy why not, as long has he doesn't actaully act on it. I know it does sound a little weird, but if she is married to this guy, maybe she should play it up a little. Not to an extreme but you know if he says it again don't get upset play up on it. And then both your friend and her husband will be happy. I mean if you are married to some on and the sex life is awkward, then it is going to suck for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't be to worried, if I was your friend. I mean, women have fantasys the same as men. But we are just better at controling them. How many times have you thought about some other person while having sex with another? Hope everything works out.

Answer 5

He obviously thinks out loud! and now its causing concern. Well for one, I think its more than just a little sexual fantasy for the wife's sister he's having, especially if this is happening more than once and I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks of the wife's sister during sex as well, it just doesn't stop at foreplay...unless his thoughts can chop and change so easily...I doubt that, so no wonder she's upset.
Her hubby ought to keep his gob shut and get his mind on his wife..that's if he can! But really he does have to stop saying this woman's name when he's with his wife and learn to concentrate on his wife and not his fantasy woman, potential lover or lover...whatever the case may be. He should get his head and his marriage sorted out first then there shouldnt be so much of a problem.
Most people have a fantasy for another person from time to time but usually only an odd time...unless of course there fantasy freeks and can only get erect and have sex with their partner by thinking of someone else. Just like some woman can get turned on better thinking of someone else rather than their partners sometimes.
However, if her husband and her sister are lovers, its very likely he's certainly going to be thinking of the sister a hell of a lot more even when hes having sex with the wife. Experience of people having an affair do admit to this happening but they certainly wouldn't admit this to their spouse.
If its only happened once then I wouldn't be too concerned about it, but any more than that, then I would have cause for concern if it happened to me. Hopefully now her husband knows how upset she is over this and just how insensitive he is and hopefully he will not give her anymore cause for concern.

Answer 6

I have been married for a very long time and that hasn't ever happened to me with regard to my mate calling out the name of another. However, prior to my marriage he & I had a falling out and took a long break from each other. I began to see someone else and when I slept with that person, I WAS THE ONE that called out my (husband's name; who at the time was my ex-boyfriend). Well, needless to say my partner didn't find the mistake arousing. So, the next day I went home and called my EX and talked etc....We reconciled and got married a year later.
That was 20 years ago. I cringe thinking of that night and am so thankful that it has never occurred the other way around. It's just one of those things that your sub-conscious let's out and you can't control it. A serious faux pas and FREUDIAN SLIP.

Answer 7

Women will tell you it's a bad thing, men will say not. Truth is that it is normal for a man to do something like this and occasionally a woman will do it from time to time. It is a trong fantasy of mens to be with his woman and her sister especially if they are both attractive. and yes this has happened to me before. However keep an eye on times he is gone, how long he is gone and while he is gone call your sister every now and agian or pop in for a visit. do not stop trusting him just be careful!!!!! Also, do not tell your sistr otherwise you will have more to worry about.

Answer 8

It looks like the hubby was fantasising about having sex with someone else, whilst with his wife. You can see why any woman would find this hurtful, but I think ALL married men do this. One of the reasons that the doggy position is so popular.

To shout out the sister's name is unforgivable however, and points to a lack of intelligence on his part.

Answer 9

Just goes to show that fantasies are not the safe, grown up way to enjoy sex that the 'experts' would have us believe. Any way at all that someone brings another person into a relationship is damaging. He should restrict his fantasies to his wife alone, and seek help if he finds this part of him is out of control. Tell her not to take this lightly, it could end up anywhere.

Answer 10

oh dear, where to begin. I am married, but if my husband was to call my sister's name during foreplay, he know there'd be HELL TO PAY! Good God.
I thought (and hoped) you were gonna say it was all a very bad accident, he had only spoken to her sister minutes before and he had had a long day and so his brain was on vacation when it happened, but then he turns around and says "its only a sexual fantasy". ISNT THAT WHAT BILL CLINTON SAID? so he does this regularly? your choice of words suggests he does! eww man, the whole plot stanks. i'm a brainy person, someone get me outta here?