I have a sorta in depth ? in reguards to allowing my ex husband to see my daughter does anyone know of a sight

Question

I am divorced with with a special need 11yr old boy and a very smart 9 year girl. She loves her Daddy but he has been ful of empty promises. He has been living at a christian place for abusers(alcohol) and he preaches to everyone when he is visiting even though I know he has been drinking. 3weeks ago he showed up here with his new girlfriend and her 4kids. He wanted to take my kids to his mothers to go swimming. He left to the store while I got them ready. He never came back and did not call until hours later. he no good excuse. My daughter was devistaed(crying, ocasionally,sceaming, ect..) He has been bugging me ever sinse to see them. I have not told her anything except that he has called but I am not sure I should allow him to see her. I did not grow up with anything like this I have no idea what she is going through. I am afraid she will lose her faith because of his actions and preachings Ineed to explain this in detail to someone with exsperience I have no money does anyone know

Answer 1

I WISH their was a easy answer
your daughter is 9 she has not understand your situation nor appriciate your need to protect her
it is easy for me and probably others to say don't let her see him
and that will be the best decission but you will have to live with her reproching you,
what about his parents can they took the children once in a while
maybe you can ask him to see the children at his parents
that way you know he is not alone wiht them (only if you trust the parents)
Good luck
By the Flaridama the children become " MY " when he gone to the store and never come back
sorry got to answer that one
From experience

Answer 2

You have to explain to her that her father is full of empty promises. That she needs not to believe everything that he says. When I was her age my father was a drinker. My father did the same thing. He would promise you the moon and give you nothing. He drinking brought a lot of problems but I had my mom. She told me that was just the way that he was and that he loved me. I didn't loose my faith cause my mother was there to help me. I never stopped loving my father either. He was a good man who taught me a lot. It wasn't until I was 18 and my mother left that he quit drinking and then he became a great man. Just me there for your daughter and let her know that sometimes adults say things and do things they are suppose to but that doesn't make it right. She does need to have him in her life. If for no other reason but to know how she don't want to be.

Answer 3

You have used the word "My" quite often like your daughter was your property. In fact, your daughter is also his daughter so that makes your daughter as belonging to both of you. Be careful. Kids are not property. You need to let the kids father see them as long as he will do them no harm...

Answer 4

Inform him that when he has been sober for one year he can contact the kid as long as he keep from proselytizing..

You need to protect your children.. People with a belly full of booze and belly full of God are accidents waiting to happen.