My fiancee and I have been going through a lot lately. He is pushing 30, and I am almost 22. There is a large age gap, but it works for us. Early in our relationship, I became close to his sister. I confided in her, and she has used everything against me. I never once said anything derogatory to her. She has been engaged for 7 years, and he as not set a date to marry her yet. During the wedding planning, my fiancee and I cracked a joke about how we would end up getting married before them. Somehow she found out, and will not forgive me. This was almost a year ago. I have tried numerous times to make peace with her, but she refuses. She has given my fiancee the impression that she regularly speaks with his parents about me, and I don't like it. I have tried so hard to have them accept me as my family has embraced him. My parents and I mesh well with his parents, but what can I do to calm things down with her before the wedding, and most importantly before having children?
2006-10-06 07:04:24 · 12 answers · asked by gapchic400 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No offense but F*k her. Is she just as angry with her brother? It was a joke made that looks like its about to be realtiy so you we're actually speaking the TRUTH. Do not stress yourself with the antics of a spoiled brat. It seems as if she never liked you anyway and is using this simple lil issue as a crutch. Don't worry about fitting in with his family because you only have issues with HER and you are marrying your fiancee NOT her so let her play the wounded sparrow and you enjoy your wedding plans, wedding and life. No worries.
2006-10-06 07:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has issues with you for something other than a joke that you and your fiance told...I am sure you realize that dont you? You mention that you use to confide in her with things, so maybe she knows to much about you than she cares to and doesnt like what she knows....maybe she doesnt think you are the best person for her brother...maybe she is just a hater and miserable in her own life, it doesnt take 7 years to plan a marriage so...she has issues of her own. I wouldnt worry much about her especially since the rest of the family is getting along well. But you are not marrying her, so it doesnt matter what she thinks about you does it? the only way you are gonna know what the situation is about with her is to go to her and ask her specifically. Once you know what it is, then maybe you can fix it. At least you will know....and before or after kids....thats her problem, not the kids or anyone elses.
2006-10-06 07:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by tpoke24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe she is having wedding envy. If she has been engaged for seven years and they have not set a wedding date something is wrong with that relationship. Take her to dinner and talk with her about your situation. My sister is going through a similar situation with her future brother-in-law. Her fiance is an identical twin and so him and his brother are extremely close and for some reason his brother hates my sister. Don't let this cause strain on your relationship with your fiance. If she won't listen to you then just be as nice to her as you possibly can and move on. Good Luck!
2006-10-06 07:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem lies with the sister in law. Once she is happy with her own life (maybe after she gets married) she'll come around. In the mean time don't do anything that she'll construe as you rubbing it in her face. Be genuine and consistant. She'll come around eventually. Don't worry about their family. If you know you are a good person, they'll see it too no matter what she's doing or saying about you.
If she is indeed bitter or upset from all this, others can see it too.
2006-10-06 07:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Ask her why she's so angry. If that doesn't work, you'll have to accept the situation for what it is. Maybe she's just a immature little brat who's always been a pain in the neck.
I think it's weird how you cracked a joke and she "somehow" found out. I wonder who is really the troublemaker here?
2006-10-06 07:09:24 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure sounds like she is jealous over the fact you got married before her. Try to get closer to her by appologizing fot the wedding date crack and just tell her you are family now and don't want this tension between you. Obviously she is very sensitive about it.
Good Luck
2006-10-06 07:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus said: Love your enemy. You can win her over with genuine love.
In the Beginning God created heavens and earth.
God gives you air to breathe and sunshine to enjoy.
God gives you water to drink and food to eat.
God gives you a wonderful body and sound mind, to live.
God loves you, and you are precious to Him.
Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation.
Jesus’ love is boundless and everlasting.
We have the hope of Heaven through Jesus.
Life therefore has fantastic and glorious future!
(Digestion of above can even prevent depression and suicide attempt.)
2006-10-06 07:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by tmthyh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see where shes coming from and i see where ur coming from beaucse i have 2 older brothers and i love my brothers to deathhhh their my life my world my everything and i've become very jelose and selfish over the years beacause i love them too much and they have always given me all the atention and now one of them has a gf and i dont like her i mean shes honstly a nice and very pretty girl but... i want someone better for my brother and i know if a betetr one comes along im gona want a even better one... shes'll have to get over it ..... buy her a present ask her to go hange out and stuff u knoo shes just jelouse bcuz she knows her broher wont have as much for her hen he gets marryd its okay she'll get over it.
2006-10-06 07:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by Viinna_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women are stubborn and there's nothing you can do to make things right, if you're doing nothing wrong. If you already apologized then not much else to do besides wait for her to get over her jealousy problem.
2006-10-06 07:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by Miss E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to lunch and have a heart to heart with her. Or is there an ex of his that she wanted him to marry instead - that is what happened to me.
2006-10-06 07:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anna F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋