How Young?

Question

My 15 month old is already starting to throw fits. Is it too young to punish her, and if not, how do we punish her?

Answer 1

At 15 months, she's learning already how to push your buttons. Regardless of how much of a fit she throws, do NOT give in. It will just teach her that she'll get what she wants if she makes enough noise. Eventually she'll outgrow it. Alternately, if it is excessive, you can move her to a quiet room and keep her there till she calms down. Even though she may not understand everything you're saying, tell her that her behavior is inappropriate, and she needs to calm down before she can go back to where you were. Good luck!

Answer 2

I agree with boggles and sad kitty. First, if a child is throwing a tantrum for attention, even negative attention gives them what they want. From everything I've read (which is a lot) the best thing to do is what boggles said. Also, when they start becoming upset over something, you should redirect their attention like what sadkitty said, its kind of a diversion but it helps them not become too frustrated over one thing. And they do become frustrated, they want to do so much more than they can at this age. My daughter will be 15 months on the 20th of October so we're probably going through some of the same things right now...

Another thing that I read was that until about 2-3 years, punishment is ineffective with tots because they do not yet have the ability to reason. That part of their brain hasnt developed so putting them in a time out, or giving them a lecture on what they did and why they shouldnt, kind of goes in one ear and out the other. The dont understand consequences, you cant get them to reason. So nix with the punishment, focus on positive reinforcements.

Another good book: Your Baby and Child from Birth to Age Five by Penelope Leach.

but Im sur eyou could find a ton of useful info at a library, I try not to get too much info from the net, its hard to know how legit it is.

Take Care

Answer 3

If you mean punish be using timeouts as others have commented, that is fine. Punish as in starting to spank, no that would be way too early (I'm not a supporter of spankings at any age, but certainly not at this age). Children think they should get their way every time and if they dont, well you see the result. My 11 mth old has started stomping her feet if she isnt getting her way, not very comforting if it's starting already. Even though she might not be able to communicate everything clearly to you, she understands most if not everything you tell her if you use simple words and sentences. I'd say try to reason with her, try to distract her by giving her something else to amuse herself with, and use a timeout if that doesnt work (the playpen is our area, she hates to be put in there when she isnt in the mood). After a few minutes I go 'rescue' her and she's forgotten all about her throwing things across the room in her anger and ready to give me a hug.

Answer 4

You would hope that terrible 2's only last that year right. But she started and will go on a couple more years.

The most important thing is not to give in to them and ignore her as much as possible. A light spank on the butt is good now and then. Not hard because I think it is the act that is a good punishment. A few seconds of time out may work at this age too. You would take her to the stairs and sit her down in front of you.

Another thing I find is when you tell her what she does is wrong go really close-nose to nose.

Good luck

Answer 5

Its not 2 young 2 punish him.They need to know that they can not get away wiv ever think.I think the best way 2 do it is make a naughty corner.That is wot i have done for my son.U put them in it for a min if ther 1 and add a min every year.My son has noe stopped throwing fits and very rearly go into the naughty corner.Hope this helps

Answer 6

I know everyone here is saying time out, but this is what I found was most effective with my daughter:
#1 Do as much as reasonablly possible to prevent fits. Make sure she has a regular schedule as far as naps and feeding. Most fits are simply caused by overload. Also, it helps to not set unreasonable rules. For example, don't leave a glass vase out on the table and expect her to understand that she can't have it. Babyproofing doesn't mean just keeping her safe, it means keeping you sane. Make sure each room has a few toys at her level to keep her occupied if you have to spend a few minutes doing housework or on the phone or whatever.
#2 If all your preventative methods fail and she does have a fit (and it will happen) make sure you master your own emotions before you deal with her. It's very easy to get overly upset and react poorly to a situation. Once you are calm, get down on the floor with her and explain why she can't have her own way. Keep your explanation as simple as possible. Most likely she won't understand at first, but if you use this method over the course of a couple weeks eventually she will start to calm down just hearing your voice. Once you have explained to her why she can't have her own way, then offer her something to distract her, like a soft ball that won't break anything if she throws it. Most likely she will throw it, just out of sheer frustration. If she is not calmed down by this point (and most likely she won't be, she will ignore all your calm parental logic, at least at first) then stand up and say "I'm going to go do such and such." Then follow through with that, ignoring her completely for one minute. It's not necessary to place her in "time out", simply depriving her of your attention should be enough to defuse the fit. A few minutes after you take your eyes off of her, she will realize that she is no longer the center of your attention and will become highly upset. Her goal will change from getting her own way to getting your attention back. After the minute is up, go ahead and pick her up, hug her and soothe her, do whatever you would normally do after she had been crying.
For what it's worth, my daughter also went through a phase like this when she was fifteen months and it only lasted about two months. She is now almost two and I have yet to see any sign of the "terrible twos". Best of luck to you and your little one.

Answer 7

Time outs. Have a naughty chair or mat, something for her to sit on and put her on it. She'll protest and try to get up but you'll have to be consistant and make sure she stays on it. Make sure she stays there for 1 minute or 2. Then talk to her and tell her that won't be tolerated, etc (but in words she'll understand). It's not too young to punish her. You need to stop this before it gets too bad or you'll be so sorry. Good luck!!

Answer 8

no its not to young to punish her the younger you start the better i started with my daughter when she could crawl and grab things try sending her to her room for 5 minutes or until she stops throwing a fit which ever comes first good luck

Answer 9

No, there vocabulary hasn't really developed yet, so it's there way of expressing without words. You need to start
figuring out more what it is they want. Next if it is a true tantrum, then giving a time out in a playpen or crib by there selfs would be a fair punishment.

Answer 10

At this age she will not understand if you spank her, it will only cause resentment. However, time outs MAY work. But, in all honesty-- temper tantrums are thrown to get attention from you--so the best thing you can do is to ignore her. I know it sounds harsh and may be hard to do in say, the grocery store, but ignoring her will teach her that you will not give into her every whim. Also you can tell her no in your sternest voice. A voice that you only use when she has done something wrong. Good Luck!!