we decided to stay friends while trying to work things out,but at the same time, hes giving me six months to get my life together...what should I do? I still love him and dont want to lose him.
2006-10-06 05:47:56 · 27 answers · asked by cinderella492005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Get your life together if YOU believe you need to do so, not someone else. This "staying friends crap" is for the birds. It does not work, take it from someone who has been there, done that and got the tshirt to show for it. If there are truly good reasons he told you to get your life together, do it and then in 6 months if it is meant to be it will happen for you both. I don't think having him in the picture as a "friend" is going to get you there.
2006-10-06 05:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you should NOT do is put yourself in desperation mode. Nobody is worth that. "Get your life together" can mean many things and you don't divulge enough information that will allow us to offer a reasonable course of action.
I do think that if you're trying to work things out - you shouldn't both be staying with the same friends - which is what it sounds like you're doing. You need some breathing room to think about whatever the problem(s) is / are and how you can help resolve them. So does he. You won't get that by "staying with friends".
Finally, remember this: it takes two tango (corny, I know! but oh so true). You didn't arrive at this point in this relationship all by yourself. So whatever "Get your life together" means - he needs to be willing to participate in that goal in some capacity.
Good Luck!
-Chrystaille
2006-10-06 13:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This rarely works
Don't confuse LIKE with LOVE... and there should be a law against people saying they love someone and then not being nice to them.
If you LOVEsomeone you would not want to be away from them for any reason.
You may still LIKE this person, you may wish you LOVED him or he LOVED you... but one of you REALLY is not in LOVE because if you both were you would still be so close that you would not care.
People that are in Love at the same time, don't have any issues when they are alone. It is outside issues that cause problems.
MOVE ON and try to find someone that will Love you at the same time you Love them.
Life is TOO Short !!
2006-10-06 12:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by CTM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone who hands you an ultimatum is not the one for you...if things are gonna be right between you, you both need to take all the time that is needed to get there...so if you dont have your life right in six months (according to his standards) whats to say that he wont tell you to go away then??? Dont waste your life honey.
if you need to get your life together, do it for yourself, not for someone else, and take all the time you need...otherwise you will be greatly disappointed when you dont live up to that persons standards. Which always happens by the way. You have to know that you deserve better than someone else being in control of your life.
2006-10-06 12:51:28 · answer #4 · answered by stephanie_6234 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he dictating a time frame to you if you've decided to stay friends as you work things through as you can't really put a time on it as this puts pressure on you and you may still love him but how long have you been together and what issues are you working through as men seem to think they can take control of a relationship when it's a joint partnership.
2006-10-06 12:53:36 · answer #5 · answered by sez75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are married... maybe that's the right thing to do, however if you are still dating, just get a new guy. The great thing about love is that it is only a series of chemical reactions in the brain that is induced by thoughts being superimposed by an external stimuli.... so to make the love go away, just remove your stimuli (your husband/boyfriend). The best way to get over someone is to get someone else. My guess... if you have to separate in the first place, you are probably better off without him.
2006-10-06 12:53:31 · answer #6 · answered by thisismycoolusername 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide what is most important to you and work on it... If you think the problem is something to do with the way you do things in your life... Then work on them... But do it for your self... Not for someone else.... Changes have to come from with in and for you and only to make you happy... Don't do things to try to make it work only because someone thinks you should or wants it do there way... You know when you need to change you life and only you can do it....
2006-10-06 13:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by levita45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that it's you that needs to get life together? Sounds to me like you two are not compatible. Is he waiting for you to change into what HE wants? Don't let anyone put restrictions on you. If you are not stable in your own life, you can't be happy and be a part of someone elses.
2006-10-06 13:43:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need six months to get your life together? What does that mean? Does it mean to stop doing drugs or drinking? Or does it mean to decide what you want to do with your life? If you love yourself (forget about what he thinks), get healthy, get employed, get happy. Then see if you still want him back.
2006-10-06 12:51:25 · answer #9 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to get your life in order before you guys start things back up. . .Second, once you have everything in order, then you guys can give it another shot and see what happens . . .Believe me, one of the most important things in life is having your own life in order before you bring someone into it . . .You can still be in love with him, BE FRIENDS FOR NOW, then once your life is fixed, then go back to being more . . .the one thing that guys look for is a girl that has her head on straight and knows what she wants in her own life . . .this is what my guy friends are telling me right now . . .hope this helps . . .
2006-10-06 13:23:15 · answer #10 · answered by techgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋