So I'm not really out at work, no need to be right? Not!!! I have a few friends at work who know that I am gay and living with my fiancee, however my boss and my direct superiors do not know. I'm getting married in approxiametly 6 months and I really want to just let it be known that I'm getting married. I will no longer be the single girl at work with no kids. However my problem is this, when I first started working here I heard my boss say some derrogatory things about gays so I never told her of my sexual orientation, but now that I am getting married I want the world to know, just like when heteros get married. What should I do?
2006-10-06 05:38:25 · 11 answers · asked by Fairy 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am by no means in the closet with my sexuality, however I don't discuss at work with my boss how I like to have sex. I don't believe that subject has ever come up. So it's a little hard to bring up the fact that I am marrying a woman.
2006-10-06 05:42:29 · update #1
Honestly, when my husband and I got married, I still ran into harrasment and bigotry at work - and we are a hetero couple! I was told that I was "making the biggest mistake of my life" that I was "too young". Blah blah! The point is - regardless of the gender of your partner, you may still experiance positive and negative reactions when making such an announcement.
It is wise of you to keep your private life private - but not because you are fearful. If you plan on changing your name then use that as an opportunity to tell your boss that you are getting married. It is unlikely that he/she will be blatantly rude to you because of the fear of legal repercussions. If you don't have to change your name then just tell your friends that you want to know and go about being happy with your wedding and your parnter.
Congratulations!!
2006-10-06 07:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to think of you may carry the completed weight of the separation on your shoulders. i do no longer understand the circumstances yet i'm specific it could have taken the two considered one of you to return hence a techniques. you're saying he's in rehab so it form of feels like he's making an attempt to handle some subject concerns and that i'm specific it may make you experience slightly extra suitable that he's making an attempt to assist himself. you do no longer could inform your co-workers something different than which you're dealing with quite a coarse time or maybe nevertheless they could be bothered approximately you...you will quite have some area and not talk approximately it. you do no longer could lie...you do no longer could impression everybody. while it includes the Christmas social gathering basically tell them you would be lacking it because you have different concerns that are extra pressing and demanding to you in the present day. solid success.
2016-10-15 21:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the people who matter and let the rest spread. Your bosses only need to know if your pregnant and require time off, not that you are getting married.
You can send out cards like "I'm getting hitched, my life is over" to everyone in your division or just tell the people your mostly friendly with. Your marital status really doesn't matter AT ALL so only the people you know care and are well wishers should be priority.
2006-10-06 05:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, if he does anything discriminatory to you after you tell him, you'd have a lawsuit.
how do you tell your coworkers? have your fiance stop by work one day to pick you up for lunch. that will get the idea in their heads. then, invite everyone out for happy hour and have her there; make the announcement. that way, you won't be in danger of sex talk at the office (which could lead to a sexual harrassment problem, if people start discussing sex or 'feel uncomfortable about the discussion'). if you are outside of work, it will be more social and i'm sure after a couple of beers, no one will be too shocked.
2006-10-06 05:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by Becky 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest simply sending out invitations to those you wish to attend your wedding. If you send them to some co-workers that is awesome as well. Dedicate yourself to your partner and trust me the wedding will be enough to keep you happy. If your boss gets wind you're getting married then she can deal with it in her own time and place. No reason to push something in her face she may not feel comfortable with. Who knows, she may hear this and it may help her see gay people in a new light. Just let her find out on her own.
2006-10-06 06:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well..... this is a tuff one. if u tel your boss and he has a problem with gay people then he could find the tiniest little mess-up and turn it in a big disaster and it could blow up in your face. or it could turn out to be good. if you think that you may be fired or something might happen then you shouldnt tell him. why is it your bosses buisness anyways. it not. it is your life and you nedd to live it the way you want. dont worry about what people think about you. you just need to be happy with yourself. BE HAPPY. dont let your boss bring you down!!! i cant tell you not to tell what to do but i hope that helped you out. i know its tuff.
2006-10-06 05:53:10 · answer #6 · answered by prfect_lil_angel_2006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well tell him your strong opinions. I'm sure he will find this acceptable because of your convictions.... Now tell me again how you don't understand how society can make people choose different things..Or get married to man just because it was the right thing.... come on now ... Tell him your having a bisexual Bachlorett party and he is invited...
2006-10-06 07:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't have it both ways. Either you want "the world" to know, or you don't. If you decide to make a formal announcement in the newspaper, or send out announcements, it would be appropriate to send one to your boss. But be prepared for the reaction.
2006-10-06 05:40:11 · answer #8 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I love it!! Me and my partner are getting married and I work for a Defense contracting firm that is Bush support ready if you know what I mean! I am fixing to drop the H bomb on them myeslf. And for all you guys out there who like Hooters!!..... That food sucks!
2006-10-06 05:52:02 · answer #9 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Dear Co-workers: ¿Guess What??? I'm Getting Married!!!!!
2006-10-06 05:48:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋