would it matter?
if i loved you so fast
if i know that my love forever will last
would it matter ?
if i said this is my first time
if i want to write and i have no wish to rhyme
would it matter?
if this is the real love they talk about
spending my nights wondering to keep it in or let it out?
would it matter?
if you are miles away and never know
and i spend nights asking where does my sanity go?
would it matter?
if you know am talking to you in my dreams
and building in my mind all the love scenses
would it matter?
to know that am not like this
know one miss me and no one to miss
would it matter?
if i spend the nights shedding burning tears
and right now am facing my unbearable fears
would it matter?
if you know no one will love you like me
i could spend life time other than you never see
would it matter?
if just thinking about you give me shivers
and nothing seems to warm me even the thickest covers
would it matter?
if you know that you exposed me so weak
begging for you, and your passions i seek
would it matter?
if it matter's a bit
please God give me a hint
2006-10-06 05:32:24 · 8 answers · asked by going-to-light 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Since poetry is the outflow of one's feelings in stanzas which use figures of speech & which may or may not rhyme, this will be considered poetry speaking frm a technical viewpoint.
Personally i feel that poetry ought to be more passionate, more moving. it is a gift & not everyone can write it even if they do fulfill the technical requirements.
the poem could use some improvement as far as spellings and grammar is concerned. also in needs to flow more smoothly, the words need to be stringed together in a more melodious way. your poem cud leave a lasting impression on the reader's mind if you only mould your words in a better way, your feelings are good but remember it all depends on the Way in which you express them. poetry is all 'bout words...
Hope the suggestions help(:
2006-10-06 05:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by pioneer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you want an honest answer, you should know that it's not a "good" poem. The rhyming is strained, the imagery is strained, there is no real emotion shown, feelings are simulated rather than heartfelt, and there is no consistent theme - we don't really know what might have happened to cause this mix of somewhat rambling entreaties.
When you ask if it matters, we don't really know why you are asking or why any of this SHOULD matter.
2006-10-06 13:26:20 · answer #2 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hum. I don't personally like it too much. but don't get discouraged!! it's definitely NOT bad. It's too repetitive and just doesn't keep my interest. It is a great start, however. Just having the discipline to write your feelings in this format is a good start. Keep up the good work, and keep trying!
2006-10-06 15:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by Emily B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the best poem I have read on this site. Keep writing and get a notebook to keep it in. You have a gift.
2006-10-06 12:42:36 · answer #4 · answered by Stiletto ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
pretty good i think. there is a really good poem site its www.poems-and-quotes.com i have some stuff on there if you wanna look it up my name on there is Grace. They have a chat room and everything, people can also vote or comment on your poems. check it out some time you might like it
2006-10-06 12:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by grace_lindsey143 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very suprising, I didn't know you could be illiterate and still write poetry. (does this considered?)
2006-10-06 13:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by stan l 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo! Beautiful poem. I really liked it and I read it aloud to my co workers and they loved it also.
2006-10-06 12:42:54 · answer #7 · answered by confusedpatricia 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
very heartfelt, very good....and yes....free verse poetry.....keep writing
2006-10-06 12:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋