is it wrong for my husband to go to his baby mothers house to see the baby even though there are other ways to

Question

he says that that is the only way he can see his baby. the mother doesn't want me to see the baby so she knows as long as he goes to her house to see the baby she can have him there to herself. i feel that he is disrespecting me because they're other ways for him to see her. that is his baby just as much as it is hers. i think that she is using the baby to get him back

Answer 1

He needs to tell his baby's mom that you two are married and that you are the stepmom. You are a part of that childs life if she likes it or not. I would suggest he get a court order and enforce the visitation that can happen at your home. He needs to get a back bone and stick up for you As long as you are not abusive all should be fine. Good luck

Answer 2

Well, it's complicated. If the kid's mom is on some 'otherness' then she probably won't let him see the child other than coming over, by himself. That is an indication that she still wants him.

Whether or not he feels the same, only you would know the answer. But don't put on a big scene or performance about it. Respect that he wants to be in his kid's life.......and whether you are there or not....that child will be in his life forever.

I don't know how he feels about it....because most black folk don't go the the levels that other races go to.......but there are ways for him to interact with the child WITHOUT having to sit up and around the kid's mom too.

The question is.......is he willing to do it. It involves going to court and setting up a custody arrangement, and scheduled visitation....which may even include certain times of the week when your husband can have the kid.

I know alot of our men aren't trying to go through all of that stuff. But this is all just to say that there ARE avenues that can be taken. Then you also have to consider, (though I'm sure you know better than anyone) if your husband is still flattered by the attention that the kid's mom shows.

See, my husband's ex didn't want me at her house.....which was cool cause she couldn't come to my door either. Anyway, he would pick his daughter up, or meet them somewhere, a drop off point. And we would keep her for however long he felt like having her.

I know for fact that she still wanted him....but it wasn't an issue. She called the house to speak to him when the daughter needed anything.....she was polite, so I was polite. And it had already been established that I am the wife, and there will be no tolerance of disrespect. So........that's how we handled it. WHen she did try to play that "you can only see her if you come over, annd you can't take her" game.......he said, FINE. And he let her know that it was NOT going to happen like that. He told her that he didn't have time for court and to press the issue like that....but one day when his daughter grew up....she would want to know why he wasn't around and stuff.....and that he would let her know that her mom kept her away cause she couldn't get past the fact that he didn't want her anymore. He also added insult to injury by telling her that his daughter isn't the only child he could have. And that he refused to let her be used as a pawn. He told the mom that he loved his daughter, but that if it was that serious, he can and will have more kids (we have a son) and that again, when the daughter grew up with resentment.....in time it would be toward the mom for preventing her to have a relationship with her father because she (the mom) was too selfish and immature to accept that he didn't want her anymore.

Bottom line....your husband needs to put his foot down. If he doesn't............it may not be TOTALLY on the kid's mom. Your husband may have some role in it too.

Answer 3

It's his child. He loves you or he wouldn't want to be with you. Be strong and trust him. If you plan on having a long term relationshp with him eventually she will have no choice but to allow you into thier childs life.

Have some sympathy for her. Odds are she is left out of shape and depressed, knowing the father of her baby is with someone else and happy.

Tell him that you trust him and love him and support him in seeing his child. Unless you have facts, you have no reason to think he is being unfaithful. Be happy that you have a man that accepts his responsibilities.

Answer 4

I would tell him that the bull **** stops now!He can take her to court and get visitation.She cant stop him from taking his child just because he has a wife!Seriously why the hell would you put up with such crap!?If it is court ordered that he has visitation then all he has to do is get the police to go with him to get the child if she refuses.It seems to me that he likes going to her house and thats why nothing is being done to change the situation.I recommend that you get out of the marriage if he doesnt want to change this situation.

Answer 5

if u really trust him, then u got nothin to worry bout, even if she tries to get back with him or use the baby as an excuse

Answer 6

from all the maury shows ive seen, he's prolly cheating on you and that's why he wants to go to the mother's house. better call cheaters up!

Answer 7

YES, IT IS DISRESPECTFUL. GO WITH HIM AND TELL THE MAMA DRAMA TO BAD. I HATE WOMEN LIKE THAT, WHO USE CHILDREN AS A PAWN. AND JUST ABOUT EVERY WOMEN OUT THERE DOES IT.

Answer 8

Gosh, dont trust her!!! Those baby mama's feel they have that hold

Answer 9

i agree with you - she is being selfish- talk to your man and tell him how you feel - there has got to be a better way to do this

Answer 10

Grow up and stop being so INSECURE.