What is the funniest insult you've ever heard?

Answer 1

This took place when I was fifteen and the other person (lets call her CL) was 14.
CL: You're a gypsy.
Me: I fail to see what's derogatory about that (I am quarter Romany, so I don't find this insulting).
CL: What does "derogatory" mean?
Me: Look it up in a dictionary;
(Five minutes later)
CL: I couldn't find "derogatory" but I found "geriatric" and that's you!
(CL always was a bit of a thicko).

Answer 2

Another Churchill/Lady Astor one..... 'Sir, if you were my husband I would put poison in your drink'. To which WS replied 'Madam, if you were my wife, I'd willingly drink it.'

Groucho Marx also came out with some good ones like 'He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot'

Answer 3

I like the one attributed to Winston Chrchill. When a woman said told him "if you were my husband I'd put poison in your tea", he immediately replied, Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it".

Answer 4

'at least he gives the village idiot someone to take pity on'

Margot Asquith to Jean Harlow:
Jean Harlow - 'Say - aren't you Margot Asquith?' (pronouncing the 't' in Margot)
Margot Asquith - 'Yes Dear, But the 't' is silent, as in Harlow.”

Answer 5

Woman no,1 "Those are awful crow lines my Dear"
Woman no.2 "They are laugh lines Sweetie!"
Woman no.1 "My Dear, nothing is that funny!"

Answer 6

Its not cool being a jive turkey, being near thanksgiving and all.

Answer 7

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill,

'You sir, are drunk!'
'And you madam are ugly ........but in the morning, I will be sober!'

Answer 8

"Moon-faced assassin of joy"

It comes from Babylon Five.

Answer 9

I hope your ****hole turns square, and festers at the corners.

Answer 10

PROBABLY,GOSH YOUR LIKE AN APE DRESSED IN CLOTHES