do you think this is normal?

Question

i was with my childrens father for 4 years i meet him when i was 17 and we had a little boy and twin girls one died when she was 6 days old i left him shortly after she passed away and have meet a great guy i love and we got married 6 month ago.but part of me still misses my ex and miss the way things use to be when we were all a family do you think thats normal and how can i get rid of that feeling? i sometimes feel guilty breaking the family apart even though he was very emotinaly abusive and never came home when he said he would because he was spending all of the money at the bar.

i was broke up with my ex for over a year befor i meet my husband

i didnt get pregnate when i was 17 i said i meet him when i was 17 i had my first child when i was 19 and i do have a education

Answer 1

Yes it's normal... now what are you going to do about it? You can keep living the past and the what ifs or you can enjoy the now and the future.

You will always remember those that you spent tragic moments with, however there is a good reason why you left him. In time your guilt will subside and you will know that you have given your kids a good life to enjoy.

Answer 2

Honestly its perfectly normal! ive been with my bf now for 3 years and i still miss my ex and how it use to be. Honestly with you two having children together I dont think the feeling will ever disappear because you'll always have some part of you ex left in your heart and life. Through all the years you'll carry the memories with you with having kids. Especially with the baby passing away at 6 days old. thats also a big part of you now being able to forget about everything you should keep those memories and what use to be.

Answer 3

I think it is perfectly normal. I mean, let's face it, you had children with him, you shared a part of your life with him and even though you may not love him anymore, and you may have found your soul mate in this new husband, that doesn't mean that you can't miss some of the things you use to share and do with your ex. I think even in the worst break-up situations, we all miss something about our ex's. It is normal honey so don't worry about it, just remember why you left him and realize what you have at home now.

Answer 4

I believe both of you are still grieving for your daughter. You let it ruin your relationship. You may always regret leaving your ex but the fact remains that you did and you chose to marry someone else.

So now you need therapy to help you deal with your loss and the pain of abuse. A few times of therapy with your new husband present would help you too.

Do not tell your ex that you have these regrets and guilt. It would only make you two close and it is too late for that.

Answer 5

I think with everything you have been through it is normal to feel this way. You went through a great deal of different emotions in such a short amount of time. Myabe you should talk to a therpist about how you feel. A lot of times the victim in an abusive situation feels that the abuse was there fauly, even though it wasn't. Working through your problems is goign to be the only way to fix them.

Answer 6

what your feeling is normal or it is for me. i left my ex husband almost 6yrs ago and even though i am remarried i still remember all the good times and bad times that we have together. just because you divorce doesn't mean that you quit having feelings for him it just means you have a different kind of feelings. I tell my kids that i do have feeling for their father but it's not the same feeling that i have for my husband now. just remember you can never go back to the way it was. people always change. just hold on to the memories and move forward with your life.

Answer 7

So you made another bad decision and you want to go back to your first bad decision.

Answer is easy: your stupid.

You need to learn from what you fail to learn from the past. When you got pregnant at 17 with no education to get a real job so your one-step from being on welfare.



Go get a education, get a real job, built your self confidence and make a chose about men and not on "left over stupid boys" like you been marrying to.


PH.D? MBA? BA in fine art?...if you call that a degree or just another High school graduate who is waiting on table at Denny?

I don't mean to be rude but the problem with this country is people like who has no plan in life and go by how they feel get into trouble, pray to god for all their problems and blame every else but them self because they "need" someone to get them out off these jam.

How many people has gone throught what you been thought in history of man kind that you has fail to learn this lesson or your parent fail to teach you this lesson on plan a future before starting a family.

So your current husband is not perfect, what do you want to do? Change him? he is already taken care of kids that is not his own while feed a mom who is "under educated" by most industrialized country and limited to what she know what the real world is all about. You want to go shopping for men? And want my advice?

Go for it and leave him and go back to your old boyfriend; See how long with that relationship.

Answer 8

You remember when things were allright!! What about when he was abusive, he broke up the family because of his behavior.
If you have someone good in your life, stop with the fantasy of a time that was not that great. Invest in what you have, and stop wasting time.

Answer 9

its normal to want to keep the family together and those feelings may never really disapear completely. but at least u know u did the right thing. u can not stay with someone who is abusive in any way.

Answer 10

It's normal. You will care for the father of your children in some way no matter what. In time it will be a different kind of caring. Focus on your future.