I am a 38 year old Black female who has decided not to have children. Why are people so opposed to this? Why are people so hostile to people who don't have or don't want children?
2006-10-06 04:07:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Some people honestly believe that a woman cannot be fulfilled without children. And they get upset because they believe you will live to regret your decision.
On the other hand, many people who have experienced the "dubious" pleasures of parenting look upon you with total envy. And they regret not making the same choice for themselves. So they try to guilt-trip you into the same situtation because "misery loves company."
If you look at the people tripping on you, I'll bet each person falls into one of those two catagories. What do you think?
2006-10-06 04:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with your choice. I am 40 and have chosen not to have children. I have been verbally accosted many times. Usually I am called gay, a traitor to my race, going to burn in hell, or some other crap. The most common attack is the religion attack. I just tell them the truth. I am a Buddhist. Buddhist are not required to have children.
As for why people treat you badly. I think they had children due to peer pressure, or accident. They choose to attack you so that maybe you will feel the pressure and give in. If you give in, then they feel a tiny bit less alone.
Just consider the IQ and/or career choices of the people that attack you. Perhaps they are in envy of what you have accomplished during all the time you didn’t spend having children. My guess is the people that give you crap are not very successful in their careers.
Many people will deny that the prejudice exists. They don’t know because they have not experienced it.
2006-10-08 17:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by Marvin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that I've noticed this happening to folks that have decided not to have children as well.
Bottom line, it's a very personal decision and a lifetime commitment. There is nothing wrong with your choice...it is your life. Not theirs.
PS I'm a Daddy of two. As a father, I would think nothing less of you or your spouse for your choice. I'm not alone.
2006-10-06 04:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a great question! I'm 35, and and have been attacked for this too. I've heard that I'm selfish and don't care about anyone else. Personally, I think with all of the current over-crowding that having a child is selfish, not choosing to NOT have one. I'm right there with you. Motherhood does not, and has never, interested me in the least.
2006-10-06 04:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone is hostile. I actually respect the fact that you're not continuing to overpopulate the world. Maybe you're just overly sensitive about it. If its your choice why do you feel the need to justify & explain yourself to everyone.
2006-10-06 06:14:52 · answer #5 · answered by Annabelle418 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry yourself about what other people think--I too chose to not have kids and it's nobody's business but me and my husband's. Just think off all the extra money you will have that these kid people won't to take vacations, have nice cars, nice clothes, etc. The world is over populated anyway in my opinion.
Be proud of your choice!
2006-10-06 04:11:12 · answer #6 · answered by Penguin Gal 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Aren't you overgeneralizing a bit? I haven't met too many folks who are hostile towards childless people.
P.S. Well said, leaf-fan. I must admit, I find it annoying when, for example, childless people complain that my kids are making too much noise at the friggin grocery store. Sheesh.
P.P.S. Sabres rule!!
2006-10-06 04:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID!!!!
The person I love the most in my life is my aunt who is like a mother to me. She choose to have a career as a doctor and is lambasted by her perils. I more than respect a Strong intelligent woman I end up marrying one too.
Don't go down to their level. Stupid is stupid does. And There is a lot of stupid in life.
2006-10-06 04:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by Kenshin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am only hostile to those who have no kids yet preach and lecture like they do. If someone decides not to have kids...so be it. Its their choice. Just don't look down your nose at those of us who do...
2006-10-06 04:09:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
MY HUSBAND NEVER WANTED CHILDREN, WE HAVE NEVER COME ACROSS THAT KIND OF ATTITUDE.
HE DOES HAVE A CHILD BY AN EX WHO TRIED TO TRAP HIM THOUGH. HE NEVER FOUND OUT FOR SURE THAT SHE WAS HIS UNTIL SHE WAS 151/2. SAD STORY.
2006-10-06 04:12:40 · answer #10 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋