House Husband?

Question

My husband and I discussed it and we decided it was the right time for him to go back to school full time. That meant I was the sole income for the house. This semester he only has morning classes with mimimum homework. I thought he would take over some of the house chores but instead he comes home and nearly dives mid air onto the sofa and watches ESPN all day. I come home and it looks like a college frat house. We dont have kids at home. Is it fair of me to ask him to assume more of the house chores since I am the income provider .. How do I explain that it feels disrepectful that he sleeps on the couch in the afternoon and watches TV while I come home and do laundry and pick up the mess. I know he is a good man and I think he is just experiencing a little bit of freedom but I need to get this under control before my feelings get really hurt. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

It is more than fair for you to ask him to do more. As a man, I can tell you he is living the dream life... who wouldn't want to watch ESPN and sleep all day? Unfortunately, this is not the way adults behave. I think it is wonderful that he is getting the opportunity to go back to school full-time, you are doing a great job support his dream. But he needs to support you as well and that means helping around the house and being a responsible man. How long do you really believe you can hold your tongue before more resentment creeps in and it ends up hurting the relationship? There really isn't a choice here, relationships are based on communication and you should communicate to him that you are disappointed with what you are seeing. If he is a good man like you say, then he will take your words seriously and look to help out around the house. He has had his chance to play teenager again, now that is over and it is time to take the duty of being a husband and partner seriously. You must address it or it will just create more problems in the end.

Answer 2

When I went back to school for a year, I was too damned busy studying to watch TV. I also did much of the laundry and vacuuming and had dinner ready on the table when my wife got home. Tell the lazy B*stard to get off his as5 and help....actually, Don't scream and yell (at least the first time), just let him know what your expectations are and that the dynamics of your relationship have changed. You could also try "No housework - No sex".... Good Luck

BTW I got straight "A's", carried on an independent research project, and finished as the college's Biological Science Dept. student of the year out of 1200 biology and anatomy students...I also received full scholarship offers for Nursing School. Oh yeah, I did this in my 50's

Answer 3

Men Men Men...........they are always there to mess up a perfect life for us, aren't they?!!!!
Y'know, you can divide the house responsibilities, or ask him to take up a part time job in the afternoon, so there wont be any resentment when work is not done. When he gets the job, you can afford a part time help also and with no issues on house chores, you can have a better relationship with your husband and spend more time together.

Answer 4

If he quit his job and only has morning classes, tell him to get a part time job, or else.
When I went back to college, I worked full time to support my family, and went to college four evenings a week, and all day Saturday, carrying a 3/4 load. Yes I did get my BA degree, and made the Dean's honor roll list.
I then obtained employment in my field with an excellent salary.
Sounds like you have a lazy husband who is taking advantage of you.

Answer 5

I think if you explained to to him what you just explained to him, it would go a long way. Communication is key here. If he doesn't know the way you feel, he can't change his behavior. And yes, I do think you are right in expecting he assume some of the household duties now you are the sole provider here. In the end, you don't want a pile of resentment that will later blow up in both of your faces. Good luck, and happy talking!

Answer 6

A good women will lay down the law when needed. If yo man is slacking chances are he knows he is and thinks you won't say anything. Be a strong black woman ( I know your not black) and let him have it. He'll understand that you've worked all day and don't want to come home and clean up after his 2minute in the bedroom, espn watching, morning class only, got a wife to clean when she gets home a33.

Answer 7

You would be completely justified in asking him to pick stuff up and help out with the chores. Or, tell him to get a part-time job in the evenings. Don't let him be lazy. It isn't fair that you are the only person contributing anything to your household.

Answer 8

Yes I know you need to handle this now before it gets out of control. I waited too long & I do everything in my house Plus take care of 3 kids. What you should do is tell him how you feel & ask him please help you cause it is hard on you to work & do all the household chores.You don't have to bring up that you are the only one working cause that will be more trouble than it's worth. Just ask can you please give me some help. If he is the good man you say he will be more than happy to help out his "baby".

Answer 9

Tell him straight up how it needs to be and when he's done with the chores then he can enjoy his free time. Responsibility comes first. The nerve for him to think he has nothing better to do than sit around and watch TV!

Answer 10

Talk to him...tell him how you feel. My husband is a house husband...he takes cares of your daugther while I work. He only works on the weekends. Which I don't have a problem with that. At first he was the same way as your husband...till I sat him down and talk to him. Now he washes the dishes, cleans the living room and our little girl's room...and for me...I cook and clean what needs to be clean once or twice a week. It works!