I've had a friend for the past 10 months who's great.We were best friends and somehow,my feelings for him changed.I'm in love with him & he knows it.We do everything together.We live the lives of a relationship(intimacy too),but he's not ready b/c of a bad past relationship.He asked me to wait for him,& I have.But,now our time together has been shortened.He doesn't call as much & doesn't invite me over half as much.We got into an altercation a couple of weeks ago and went 2 weeks without talking.But,he called back and everything was good for the next two days.Now,he's back to not calling and answering my calls.He's not my boyfriend,so he has no reason to jump to my calls,but he's been doing it for so long until it hurts when he doesn't.What are some steps to get back to the friendship we once had,before intimacy and feelings got involved?I have a feeling that now,I'm not the only girl and the time is shortened b/c all of us have to share him.Any advice?Will he ever come back around?
2006-10-06 03:40:38 · 16 answers · asked by Charlies_Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sorry, I think the relationship is over. You have to move on. I wish you well.
2006-10-06 03:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is my topic! Curlycute to the rescue!
#1- Yes take not just 1 step back but a few steps back!
#2- Yes I know it hurts you that you 2 had gotten so close and now the closeness is gone BUT----
#3- It's always a risk when you start out as friends and end up with intimacy! NOW THIS IS WHAT YOU DO!
#4- You are going to get an academy award by putting on the face of another personality. You are going to stop calling him for at least 2-3 days. Make him call you.
#5-Act very non-scholant about the phone call. Not angry and not giggly. Act low key but not depressed. In other words, everything in your life is going great!
#6-You'll find that's when he'll want to start getting personal with you again and since you already suspect that he's seeing someone else, you MUST explain to him that it wouldn't be a good idea for you 2 to be involved anymore.
#7-You will LIE! Or somewhat LIE! You are to make him believe that you've taken on another interest. Or that someone has taken an interest in you. In otherwords "You're not available!"
#8-Make sure that you don't act to standoffish because you don't want him to think that you're mad.
#9-Smile in your voice on the telephone. This shows that you're not sweating the madness! AND
#10-From here on when you get into any type of relationship you make sure that the man kisses your a*s! It's nice to have a loving relationship and have be 50/50. But it doesn't always happen that way. Just make sure that in the future when you have a man that you're not too sure about as far as his feelings are concern, make him more so come to you. Don't ever kiss a*s for love.
2006-10-06 04:00:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I've been in a situation exactly like this one. For one thing, he's confused about what he wants, you two have been such good friends for such a long time, and then started to develope deeper feelings. He's not sure wether he should persue his feelings or not because if there will ever be a future possible break up, you two can never go back to being best friends. That's probably his reason for the odd behavior withdrals from calling and hanging out. If he is seeing another girl, don't worry! The reason for this is just to test the waters and see if he really is ready to be in a relationship, if he's not, better off breaking her heart than yours right? If he is, He'll probably leave that girl and jump into it with you. One way or another, he WILL come around, wether it be to be your best friend again or more. Just give it a little more time, trust me.
2006-10-06 03:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a similar situation, and sometimes, you just have to let go. If he has other females, maybe you should move on too. Trust me, I know it's hard. I have been going through the same thing, but if you keep going back, he is going to keep doing the same things he is doing because he figures you'll always come back around. Just tell him how you feel and move on from there. If you get the same from him that you are getting now, just try to find other things to occupy your time and you will feel much better. Good Luck
2006-10-06 03:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was okay just being friends, you may have put him in an uncomfortable position. He's not your boyfriend, you admit that, but you treat him like he is. You expect him to do things that a boyfriend would do. He may be dating someone but because he knows about your feelings it's weird for him now. You should probably try to focus your romantic feelings elsewhere so you don't get yourself hurt and end up losing someone important to you. Good luck and take care.
2006-10-06 03:46:34 · answer #5 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to bear this bad new to you, but you've crossed this fine line of "friends with benefits." And this line is a point of no return.
That plutonic friendship you had is gone once you've gone to bed with him and developed strong feelings.
You can't force the same feelings you have for him given back to you. You'll only push him away...
I'm hoping that he'll notice that what you have was worth the "extra" friendship and begin to notice that he's fool not to be with you.
Till then, you have to live your life and not bother him (I know, easier said than done), and you have to stick to that plan!
Once you're gone, he may notice and as we well know, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Be the better person. Show him you can go through life without him... Hopefully, he'll notice he can't go through his, without you..
I wish you luck...
2006-10-06 03:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by The Mac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you guys are the perfect match, show him that whats in the past will stay there and he will come around eventually. i don't wanna say give him as much time as he needs, cuz no on knows how long that will be, just try to be patient, and good luck!
2006-10-06 03:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by Justin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If hes bouncing between a fe girls your locked in a competition.
I will tell you most of guys want what we cant have we enjoy the challenge. So make it more challenging for him and dont let him rule your feelings so much.
2006-10-06 03:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by sybergoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advice: stop being intimate with him. Will he come back around? Yes. Most likely.
2006-10-06 03:44:55 · answer #9 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think the best thing to do is ask him about it, i mean if you're such good friends then he should at least have an explanation for you
2006-10-06 03:53:52 · answer #10 · answered by Charley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋