im 20 my friend is 22. We're both with guys but if i ask her to come out or do something she checks what her boyfriend is doing first!!
Should I say something to her?!
2006-10-06 03:32:59 · 33 answers · asked by **SARAH** 3 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Well the obvious answer is she is using you, but maybe like some people i know she has a fear of being single and thinks she needs to check everything with her bf so she dont upset him your best bet is too meet over coffee's in a mutual place and talk to her tell her that you dont feel appreciated and that as a friend she should be able to spend time with you rather than waiting to see what her boyfriend says, but if this behaviour carries on after you chatted to her then im sorry to be so blunt but...cut your loses you deserve better friends! like me lol
2006-10-06 07:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Angie Cooper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because when a girl gets together with a bloke she wants to spend all her time with him. It's normal - but some girls shut out their girlfriends then. It's tough because you know that friends are important too, and also if your relationship breaks up it's hard to go back to your friends if you've neglected them. But a lot of my friends do that. However, I regularly do things with my girlfriends and my boyfriend doesn't mind as he can loaf around, watch what he likes on TV or go down the pub with his mates. So, I think you could pesuade your friend that she could have the best of both worlds.
It's better to hint then be direct. You might say something in a general conversation about how important friends are, and also whether or not your blokes ask your permission before they do anything. Then you haven't got into a direct confrontational situation, and she can't get offended too easily.
You can't just dump friends - she might not realise she is using you, and also friendship is important. Maybe you can organise regular girls nights out or something, so it's a regular occurance - then she wouldn't feel she had to ask because it's just be another part of the routine -in a nice way.
2006-10-06 03:57:33 · answer #2 · answered by lianhua 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi yes you should have a go at you as it seems she is using you. She is not a true friend if she puts her boyfriend before you. I would let her now it is wrong for her to do that and it isnt what friends do. She will never change. So i would just stop asking her to go out and find a new mate to hang about with. Sadly many friends do this and they treat you differently when they are around you also.
2006-10-06 03:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is very common! And we have probably done it at some point. I would let her know how you feel - after all you are friends and you need to be honest with each other. It also depends if this is something she does often - I mean boyfriends on and off and on and off with you as they come and go or if it always been this way. If you are not happy you need to talk really and sort it out.
2006-10-06 03:44:57 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if she wants to go out if she says no, fine, youve made the effort now leave it to her to contact you. get yourself some new friends and when she asks you again say i cant do that day but i can go on this day. see what she says.
I had this but my friend always expected me to contact her. She always checked what her boyfriend was doing and hardly ever came out with us, in the end i gave up and she got arsey saying i dont see her any more. She cant have it both ways and trust me you always need friends so get a good reliable bunch. If your freind always relise on her boyfriend she will regret it because if they break up she will be left on her own. Dont ever make hat mistake x
2006-10-07 00:52:11 · answer #5 · answered by vicki r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends whether or not they are in the honeymoon period. If yes then it will only be a matter of time until she can see the light and realise that relationships are nothing without friendships. If you don't have friendships/other interests away from the relationship, then the relationship will become stagnant.
If no, then you had better get some new better friends, or talk to her, whatever floats your boat.
2006-10-06 04:18:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I no its horrible but i think most of us are guilty of this at some point!!Its hard when you get into a serious relationship coz you want to see the other person all the time and you definatly wouldnt want them sitting in on their own why you are out enjoying yourself!!It is wrong we shoukldnt do that to our friends but it just kinda happens!!I did the same thing to my friend when i was with my boyfriend and now im not with him she has a boyfriend and does the same thing to me!!What goes around comes around!
You could try talking to her but try and be a bit understanding,coz i guarantee one day you will be in the same boat!! x
2006-10-06 03:40:09 · answer #7 · answered by jo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i visit take it you recommend, as in... Did you be certain a date. In that recognize, no. I truly have not. yet, some time previous in late 1998, I met a guy on line. He lived in Tampa. We take to one yet another particularly properly. (he's gay.) As we were given to understand one yet another we grew to develop into good friends. In mid 1999, He presented me to his mom, who's 10 years older than me. We met in the three-D on Christmas day 1999. My husband and son and that i drove the hour and a 1/2 to their homestead for a Christmas assembly. 10 years, later, we are extra like relations than friends. Sarah is my perfect pal and that i nevertheless imagine of Patrick as my nephew. Sarah to Alaska 9 years in the past and Patrick has been there for 7 years. We stay in contact on line each and every dy! and make contact with one yet another a minimum of once a month.
2016-12-04 08:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by aune 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me 99% of girls are like this, because deep down they're first preference is to be with their boyfriend rather than a friend. Doesn't mean they using you or like you any less, thats just the way it is don't take it to heart. look at it as having a favourite toy, you would rather play with that than have to choose another one, but if your favourite toy isn't there then you just pick the other one to play with but it keeps you just as happy and you have just as much fun!
Sounds like your the 1%. thats good, keep it that way, you will keep your friends better that way.
2006-10-06 03:38:41 · answer #9 · answered by Lolly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your friends' behaviour has something to do with 'being a
Couple,' you know, 2 people who have an involvement in each others lives ....where they maybe get to spend a lot of their free time with each other.
But, I could be wrong.
Sash.
2006-10-06 13:01:21 · answer #10 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋