Since i was 6 years old, i have looked after my mother as she has M.S i am now 17
and now we are going to get alot more help. so she wont need me as often.
and now i am not sure what to do with my life and i have always helped my friends with there promblems and lived to help them as well,i know it sound silly but i am scared to live my life.i have always lived it by being my mum carrer
could anyone give me some advice?
Thanks xx
2006-10-06 03:30:45 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are living your life now, it's just that it is changing for you and it's scary.
Take it one day at a time. Enjoy yourself with your friends. Think of things you would like to do, but haven't been able to get out and do, because of your caregiving.
you're very young and there is a lot of life for you to live. Don't be in a rush.
Some people on here say you may want to be a doctor or nurse, however, you need to do what you want to do. You may not want to be a care giver all of your life. It's not easy all the time. You've helped your mom because you love her.
It's o.k. to be selfish now. Start living for yourself a little at a time.
For example. If you get up one day and you think I'd like to read today, then get a good book and read. If you want to go to the zoo, or shopping, do it for yourself. It doesn't have to be extremely large decisions at first. Start with babysteps. some days will be good and some will be hard, but that's life as you already know.
Whatever you do, try to be happy.
2006-10-06 05:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be a scary world out there when you've no real experience of it and suddenly it looks as if it's all coming at you at the same time.
I was going to give you 'loads' of advice until I read all the other answers before me and I felt so much love and care for you in all their answers, I don't think I can add much more. Some of what they say will gell with you some won't but it does demonstrate just how much love is out there and you never need feel alone.
You must have a social worker for you mother, so start with her/him and you could also talk to a counsellor, your local G.P. should be able to arrange it for free. But also use whatever network of friends and family you have and don't be afraid to let your feelings out. A good way to start might be....
'I'm afraid..' and see where that takes you with people you can trust.
You've got a lot of guts and I know you're going to get there, good luck. xx
2006-10-06 09:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by Mars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to live your life. Imagine all the good that will do your mum, seeing you able to go out and have fun again. It is going to feel strange for you of course it is. Its a big change. you've obviously had a lot of responsibility your whole life and now that responsibility has slightly been lifted, you're bound to feel a bit lost without it. But its not as though your mum isn't going to need you anymore. She'll need you in other ways now. She'll still need you as a daughter and a friend - you can be there for her in other ways. You sound like a very caring and special person and you shouldn't let this gift go to waste. Why don't you try doing some voluntary care work in your spare time on evening a week. But don't forget to care for yourself too!
2006-10-06 03:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take yourself back to when you were very young, before six, and what did you play? What role was your favorite role to play? This might give a clue as to what inclination is within you from the past.
In addition, take a piece of paper, and a pencil, and begin listing all the things you have every thought of doing. Don't give much thought to this, just list and keep listing things.
When you have a long list, begin categorizing the listings in groupings. What should begin to emerge is an indication of areas of interest. Pick a couple to investigate, and this is a beginning.
Remember, each of us has a Fate Karma that guides our entire life. This period is a change in your Fate Karma, and if you are patient [this is the hard part] the next stepping stone of your life will appear before you.... automatically. Patience and faith is what one needs.
Peace
2006-10-06 03:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by docjp 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check into continuing your education - perhaps as some type of counselor or therapist - at any rate, in some field where you can help others. I think this is how you find fulfillment. At the same time, you might want to seek some counseling for yourself. You do need to balance your life so that you HAVE A LIFE - don't feel guilty about going out and doing something for you.
2006-10-06 03:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by hoosiergal0946 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a lovely person and it is a shame there are not many more people like you.
You should spend some time looking after yourself- your only 17 so there is no rush, think about what it is you would like to do and try things out.
If you really do want to continue helping others out then maybe consider a career as a doctor or nurse.
Talk to your friends / family and bounce ideas of them.
Good luck.
2006-10-06 03:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by Chris G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is always tough when a child has to take on a role of an adult. My parents divoced while my siblings, and I were still young. So we had to do our own laundry, help with meal, and more chores then a normal kid. Now that you have been granted some freedom, enjoy it, because it will be all to soon before you will be faced with all the responsibilities of a grown up.
P.S. I had an aunte who had M.S.. I can relate to your situation.
CyberNara
2006-10-06 03:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by Joe K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of things you can do! It sounds like you would make a great nurse, doctor, therapist, physical therapist, a teacher in a school for handicapped kids, just to name a few! I think a career like any of those would be very rewarding! Just remember to always do things for yourself as well. You need some "you" time! Take a little "down" time to just focus on yourself and figure out what you would like to do. It is scarry going out on your own at that age anyways. Maybe you could take up yoga or meditation to help you focus on you. Take care and live happy!
2006-10-06 03:51:12 · answer #8 · answered by glasslights 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well bless you dear for being there for your mum but now it's time for you to find your own true identity, do you have any likes or dislikes in choosing a field of interest for a job ? Are you more interested in doing clerical work like a secretary ? do you think you'd like working with pets ? maybe nursing would be a great place to start seeing you've had more experience in that field. Go to your library and check out a couple books in a couple different fields of interest and maybe it'll come to you what you'd actually like to begin to pursue in life, Good Luck and God Bless
2006-10-06 03:47:27 · answer #9 · answered by odafintutuola 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at 17 you might start looking into a career of some sort, are you comfortable w/ a carring job?,, doctor, nurse would be full filling,, do you wanna do a 180? and get as far from that as possible?, learn what you like, or love, dislike and disdain, only you can answer these things,, ive found peace in playing the piano and guitar,, your obviously intelligent,, believe me not alot of people would even let on that they were feeling lost unless they wanted some sort of attention, and i am feeling that you are being earnest,, take your time, learn who you are, love as much as possible, dont let other people rule you,, you'll be fine,, patience is a good thing, and time is on your side,, take care sweets
2006-10-06 03:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by phllipe b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋