3 years of marriage and I have served him faithfully. Yet he doesn't want me to hold him at night anymore. He doesnt' want to hold me. He has nightmares about me cheating on him everynight (even though God knows I never did). He hardly ever smiles at me anymore. We are always together and yet he never wants to do what I like (he tells me I can do them alone). He doesn't want to go to church or talk about anything but his problems, sex, and drugs. We can not plan anything together. He doesn't want to solve problems but to wallow in them. He hardly believes me about anything. It has been like this since I lost weight (for at least two years). I have been bending over backwards to communicate and help him get over his insecurity. But he doesn't want to try anything. I am starting not to like him. He is not the man I married. How should I respond exactly? I have tried being nice but I think he is taking my nice for weakness but if I be mean he may leave me for good. I am pissed.
2006-10-06 03:10:30 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he treats you like that and you are scared he may leave u for good if you try a little more. i hate to say this but you dont deserve him, you deserve someoen who appreicates you. im sure this is not what u wanna hear but its true.
I suggest u sit down and talk seriously, maybe take a holiday away from, him alone, he will realsie how much you mean to him.
2006-10-06 03:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to break up any marriage, but I would suggest you check to see if he's cheating on you. From what you've written, you given some classic symptoms of an unfaithful person. I think you two should go for marriage counseling. Once communication dies out, everything else unravels.
If I were in your shoes, I would go for counseling. The two of you need to talk. If he keeps it up, I think it would be a good idea to separate for a while. Maybe a little time away from each other would help to consider unbiasedly what type of situation you both are in.
Best of luck to you, and I hope everything works out.
2006-10-06 03:18:02 · answer #2 · answered by blue-angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he only wants to talk about his problems, sex and drugs. The Drugs really hit home with me. Maybe he has a problem with drugs that you aren't aware of. I already went through this with my fiancee. All he would talk about was himself, he didn't want to hear anything I had to say and then would brag about drugs and how he was before he met me and how he was all messed up...but doesn't do them anymore. Well...he lied - he was doing them. Not as bad but he was starting to head down that road again and he was reaching out to me in his own way...and that was talking about it. He knows how against drugs I am. I've never done them, nor have I ever had the desire to. He is now going to his NA and AA meetings and we go together sometimes. I'll even give him spot drug tests...even though I know he's not doing them. I just like to keep him on his toes so he doesn't even think about trying to go down that road again. Maybe your husband is reaching out to you for help. My fiancee and I also go to see someone one a week. Sometimes together and sometimes on our own. I tell you...it's a great help. I wish you all the luck in the world. And if drugs aren't the problem...and I'm wrong here. I would still recommend that you guys talk to someone together. It really does help. And most insurance companies cover it.
2006-10-06 03:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by Michele K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, its hard because ,you have a lot of stress that is building up inside, you know what ,you need to treat him the same way that he has been treating you , and you need to let him know that your not going to put up with his crap any longer , and you know what , be proud of your self for being a good wife ,no matter how he try to make you feel, teach him a lesson ,no need to be nice ,no need for sex ,no need to cook,and the best part keep your self looking your best at all times, get a new kind of perfume , comb your hair in a different stile ,, wishing you the best.
good luck
Leena
2006-10-06 03:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by leena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 st of all congrats on your weight loss 2 nd i dont know what his problem is it seems you done your part all i can suggest is that you demand him to communicate and i say demand cuz without it you have no marriage and if the problems are too big too handle go to counseling together it does sound like he is depressed tho good luck and god bless
2006-10-06 03:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by OFFICER CAMPBELL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you said you have tried to communicate but I would ask him if he feels like he has needs in the marriage that are not being met guys will be distant if they feel like they are being neglected.
2006-10-06 03:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by r_furman24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that his behavior is jeopardizing your relationship and that you don't want to lose it. He sounds seriously depressed and should see a doctor about it. If he loves you and wants to keep you he will do it for you...if not, you have an option, however unpleasant.
2006-10-06 06:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he may be suffering from depression or something psycological. Dump him if he don't go get checked. Why be miserable with him?
2006-10-06 03:19:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONEY TALK TO HIM SERIOUSLY AND ASK STRAIGHT OUT!! WHAT IS IT YOU REALLY WANT? AND IF HE DOES'NT GIVE YOU A CLEAR ANSWER AND YOU THINK YOU CAN DO IT ON YOUR OWN GO DO WANT YOU WANT TO DO!! NO ONE CAN DECIDE FOR YOU EXCEPT YOURSELF!!
2006-10-06 03:16:12 · answer #9 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write me i will make everything okay
2006-10-06 03:18:46 · answer #10 · answered by i_want_tomeet_u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋