I have had more than enough of my "friend" lets call her....Dawn for now. She is completely selfish and has "a go at me" all the bloody time, i feel as though i can't do anything right or wrong because it's not to her expectations!! She treats the rest of her friends o.k. but she always has a "pick" at me every single day!! I have been there for her all the time and i am fully aware of how awful her homelife is - therefore i had offered to help her get counselling, she has got counselling now, but it has taken her months and months for her to go and do it, because we keep falling out - which makes her use it as a weapon against me for some sick reason!! On countless occasions she has come to my house and cried her eyes out to me and my mum, we have offered her attention and respect and care, but she continuously keeps throwing it all back in my face and falling out with me. Today she has fallen out with me because i wasn't joining in with what she calls "fun" - but i don't find touching your friends innapropriately funny! So she said to me - "is it something i've done" and "are you mad with me" all the time both before and after this incident! i kept saying "no its not you, im okay thanks" and thought that would be the end of it - but no! she carried on time and time again, purposely being annoying and asking "whats wrong", "is it me?" etc. I said firmly to her "no" and walked away. She then had a go at me for me doing this - I MEAN, WHAT DOES SHE EXPECT? WHAT KIND OF REACTION AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE HER WHEN I'M NOT HHAVING A GOOD DAY?! I feel incredibly let down, and i am stuck on what to do - we both want this friendship to work but i really, extremely feel that my friendship and trust has continuously been abused time and time again! Whenever i talk to her about things like this between us, she either tells someone else about it, has a go at me yet again and denies everything, leaves me out of almost practically everything and the list is endless! I feel really depressed about it and when i go home i need to tell my mother whats gone on at school because i feel better about it - but then it stresses her out aswell because my mother has given all her love, respect and time for her during the holidays and after school. "dawn" never wants to see me anymore after school and in the holidays and instead asks other people that she told me she was getting pissed off with! I feel like i'm in a vicious circle of deciet! What should i do?!
2006-10-06 03:09:27 · 15 answers · asked by $@Z 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's time to respect yourself and drop her. She is using you as an emotional punchbag because her own life is crap, and that is not fair. You have your Mum on your side, who has been good to her as well, and got it thrown back in her face. You and your Mum should tell her she is no longer welcome, no matter how much she cries her eyes out.
If your friends are your friends, they will suss out the truth. If she starts in front of everyone give her a taste of her own medicine by telling all about her behaviour. Not about the touching it could go wrong! Is there anyone you can confide in, it must be difficult for you to trust anyone at the moment! She does not deserve any friends at all, let alone someone who has shown her nothing but kindness. Save it for someone else who will genuinely appreciate you.
Good luck and big hugs x
2006-10-06 08:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you need a friend that's going to respect you as much as you respect her. It happens a lot when your there for someone through thick and then and when it's your turn for a little understanding or just a good friend to hang out with your let down. You need to let her know what it's doing to you and your friendship. Some people never change. If she's having trouble at home it's still not a good reason to take that out on you. I know someone who treats the people that are there for her through everything like their not important enough and the people who don't care she works even harder so they will like her. Some times it's best meeting new people than continue in a friendship like that. True friends always love and respect one another and can admit when their wrong.
2006-10-06 10:26:01 · answer #2 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You already know what to do sweetie, you just don't want to and that is understandable. The fact is, she is being emotionally abusive to you and that is not okay. It sounds like she expects you to just be there when she needs you and takes it for granted that you are every time. I imagine if you stop being there everytime she wants you to be she will start wondering why and hopefully get a clue. At any rate I really think it is time to move on with your life and make new friends( true friends don't treat you like that). Ask yourself why you are still in this relationship, really? You are probably a nurturer and atract people who need that. Beware though, really needy people just keep needing more and never give back, like Dawn. You need to take a close look at yourself because if you let her treat you like this then chances are you will end having more relationship like this especially with men and that just is not healthy.
2006-10-06 10:28:36 · answer #3 · answered by abearsfan77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple... leave her. She has major issues that you can't help her with. If you had a girlfriend that was in an abusive male/female relationship would you tell her to leave? You sure would! This is no different. For a friendship to be healthy there has to be compassion, respect, and giving from BOTH people. She doesn't get that concept very well. You've hung in there long enough. Walk away, and be happy and peaceful!!
2006-10-06 10:19:37 · answer #4 · answered by JP 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This girl sounds like trouble and doesnt know what she wants! stay away from her only do what you have to do, you can do better then her, girls like her will only bring you down and do you think you deserve that after all you have done for her. Keep away from her i know it will be hard to do but she has to learn that she cant walk all over people like that and that its not a good way to keep friends. If you look at it the oppisote way then she might be hurting the person who means a lot to her and you know her secrets and she hates you for knowing that best of luck i hope things work out for you.
2006-10-06 10:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by EMMA O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is time to find some new friends to surround yourself with. This gril sounds like she is taking advantage and if you have nothing to offer her, she wants nothing to do with you. There are plenty of people in the world that will treat you better. It will be kind of hard the first few weeks but just let her be and she will get the hint. Good luck to you.
2006-10-06 10:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by Acid Burn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One; yoou've got to decide if you're just pissed off with her here and now. The have a friendly chat with her and state you case.
or two: You HAVE had enough of her, dump her and move on.
Basically - YOU need to take control of the relationship and not tolerate this attitude. Maybe just calmly exapling what's going on, why and the new rules of the game. If she can't handle it - move on.
Get you argument straight before you talk to her though. Maybe write it down.
2006-10-06 10:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by Felidae 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey dont give in you need to make a friend that respects what you feel and listens to your needs not only thiers...fair enough she has had it tough ok so but you are doing it tuff to by the sounds of it...maybe tell her when you see her that your sorry for being snappy that there is a lot of things on your mind lately,like you have..dont make excuses for her making you feel like you do...she should learn how to be a better friend...at least i think you should distance yourself a little.also dont tell her to much about how you are feeling well not what you want everyone to know..as you already know she cant be trusted..hey you deserve better than that ok..keep you chin up theres so much more to life than this but you gotta be prepared to move forward to find it...
2006-10-06 10:30:34 · answer #8 · answered by waveboy7675 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend does this to you , but not her other friends?
Sounds to me like she is using you , because you let her. maybe she knows she can't do this with her other friends.
You sound like a very caring friend, and that's great but some people just take advantage of you , if you let them.
Could you just tell her what you,ve told us, let her know you care about her but don't want to be treated this way.
You both might be happier in your friend ship if you let her know you'll be there for her but you will not be used , anymore.
2006-10-06 10:23:19 · answer #9 · answered by eviechatter 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When i was at school one of my friends had a friend like this and in the end she had had so much she stopped talking to her........since we have all left school built lives had babies and have got everything sorted she has begged my friend to forgive her because of how she treated her at school. They made up but now the other girl has alot more respect........it took her 4 years to get it but she has now...........it just part of growing up, she will learn one day but for now i would distance yourself and stop taking her ****! Sometimes hun you have to be cruel to be kind
2006-10-06 10:14:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋