Are you gay all the time or only when you're having sex? How (or why) does your being gay define you?

Answer 1

Sigh.
Being gay is simply another aspect of my being. It influences me but is no more a "controlling" factor than any other aspect of my personality and interests.
I "define" me. Most people judge by what they wish to see, not by the reality of the way things are.

Answer 2

Gay is an adjective describing your sexual preference.
If you are 'being' gay while in the men's urinal and a guy who is not 'being' gay is standing beside you, then, look out!
Should I not be taking the translation of your question so literal?

Answer 3

Why yes, I am a lesbian all of the time. When I am at home. When I am at work. When I am at church. What defines that is my relationship with my partner. We are not a couple just in bed. We are a couple all of the time. I do not define my life by whom I have sex with. I define my life by whom I love.

Answer 4

(dated) Happy, joyful, and lively.
It's a wonderfully gay morning!

Sometimes I am happy, sometimes I am happy and gay!! I am also lots of other things too and my sexual orientation is only a small part of my identity. I do not think my sexual orientation defines who I am as a human being. Also it should be noted that a person's sexual orientation doesn't necessarily mean it defines who they may "have sex" with.

Labels are only words—and words when chosen carefully
usually do communicate more effectively than silence.

Here are some good possible reasons that some people decide to call themselves queer, lesbian, bisexual or gay:

To protest against our homophobic society's attempts to dictate who we can or cannot love.
To let others know you've stood up for your right to love and make love to anyone you care to.
You admire the queer, lesbian, bisexual and/or gay community and want to become or remain a part of it.
You don't know how to repress your same-gender sexual feelings and you feel it's better to acknowledge and come to terms with them than to go on denying their existence.
To be honest about your past same-gender sexual feelings and/or experiences.
To experience what it's like to be given a stigmatized label, and gain the knowledge, emotional strength and self-reliance that comes with that experience.
You don't feel like bothering to argue with others who label you as queer, lesbian, bisexual or gay.
To be able to make snappy comebacks like "Yes, I am queer, and being queer is a good thing to be!" or "That's Mr. ****** to you!"—because whether or not you actually consider yourself queer, responding to homophobic slurs by saying "No, really, I'm not queer" wouldn't sound very prideful and would never convince anyone anyway.
It scares you to say the words "I'm queer" to yourself, and you don't like being afraid of things, and you know that the only way to overcome any fear is to practice doing the thing you're most afraid of.

Answer 5

Gay (lesbian) means being attracted to the same sex instead of the opposite. So they are like heteros with the one difference.

Answer 6

If you're gay you're gay. You can't switch it off! So it's all the time or never at all.

Answer 7

I'm only gay during the week between the hours of 9am and 3pm, and then on alternative weekends.
The virus is spreading...
O&A

Answer 8

If you are gay, you are gay all the time, and preferr the same sex.

Answer 9

if you are gay or lesbian, you always are. it's not something that can be switched on and off. being lesbian is part of who I am....it's not what I'm ALL about. I'm friends with men, just not sexually attracted to them. other than that, I'm just like anyone else.

Answer 10

Its a sliding scale measurement that differs from person to person, but its still gay. God thinks, cute question.