Hi my husband and I just had our first baby together. We both have one child each from previous relationships. My problem is my husband will not get up in the middle of the night to help me. I am extremely exhausted some nights and just need a break and he says no because he has to go to work! We fight over this because in 2 weeks I am going back to work and I work with 8th graders. My job is physically and emotionally draining! Because of the kids I work with. He said It will still be easy for me to wake up because I am moving around all day! But I know I wont deal well because I have no sleep. He says he is this way because I have taken control of our daughter. I asked him how and he said because I have her on a feeding schedual (which he did not do with his daughter he fed her whenever she cried) He wants to feed her ceral and she is 4 weeks old. I follow what her doc tells me to do with her with the food. Am I too controlling or is he the problem?
2006-10-06 00:35:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lol he's the problem.. ur right her digestive system is to immature at this point or cereal.. that usually doesnt come till she's atleast 4 months old..
Him not helping u with the baby only suggest "A" reason why he's still not with his first childs mother lol.. sorry but probably true.. if u were to compare with the ex im sure she'd say she had the same issues..
Theres no reason why he cant help u out with the baby on his days off.. so u can have some rest.. atleast for one day..he's unfortunately sounding like one of those men that dont want to be bothered when they are babies, only likes kids when their old enough to start fending for themselves a bit..
My suggestion to u is.. if u cant get him to atleast get up with the baby on one of his days off so u can rest.. then id tell him that u've looked into different babysitters /daycares.. and its going to cost him alot of money.. just so u can get some rest.. maybe he'll change his tune on helping if he thinks he has to fork out money for u to get rest lol.. dunno.. sounds to me that u didnt pick a winner..
2006-10-06 00:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since I never take just one side of the story I would have to say that you both have some blame here. He could help you out once and a while, either by giving you time to nap or giving you some sleep in days, or something that would work for the both of you and you should try to have him do some of the parenting so long as he is not doing anything that would do damage.
2006-10-06 00:42:10 · answer #2 · answered by status quo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you're doing a great job MOM!! When my ex-wife and I had our first, I made a bet with her...... I told her if she could deliver the baby without shedding a tear, I would take night duty for the first month........ To my amazement....... She didn't.....So, I got stuck with the nightly feedings.. But after the first few nights, I accepted this new schedule of mine and actually used this time to bond with our baby. In the end, our first born is now 14 and she is very much so a "Daddy's Girl" and I LOVE IT!! Hope this helps a little...:)
2006-10-06 00:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by cajunpalomino 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey , this goes back to the stone age! It is very hard on your man to get up in the middle of the night and go to work the next day. As hard as it is on you! But this has been an ongoing situation around the globe! And some men just won't deal with child care of thier own childern. Part of being a woman I guess
2006-10-06 00:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I feel 4 ya......i am in the same boat. we have just had our 3rd child and he does the same thing. our 3rd child is going on 3mths and i am still breast feeding. he does not do much 4 me as far as taking care of anything but our other 2 children.....that helps. all i can say is just deal with it. hang in there it will b over soon and u will b catching up on all the lost sleep.
2006-10-06 01:14:30 · answer #5 · answered by bammbamm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the mother..you know what's best for her. Don't give that baby cereal just yet. Her digestive system is not fully developed and giving cereal to a baby has been proven that it does not help them sleep thru the night. When you go back to work and he still doesn't help you, then start slacking on your other resposibilities around the house for sleeping when ever you can. Even when you are able to have sex again tell him you are too tired!!
2006-10-06 00:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by staydee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No you are not too controlling, It is the responsibility of both parents to work together to take care of all the children. It takes two people to have children and it also takes two to raise children.
2006-10-06 00:40:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
THIS SEEMS LIKE MORE THAN A NEW BABY ISSUE. WAS THIS BABY PLANNED? HOW WILL YOU MAINTAIN THE SCHEDULE WHEN YOU ARE BACK AT WORK? IF YOUR HUSBAND FEELS OUT OF THE LOOP, PULL HIM BACK IN, BELIEVE ME A CHILD WILL SURVIVE WITHOUT A RIGID SCHEDULE, AND MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND WILL FEEL MORE A PART, IF YOU BOTH HAVE INPUT.
2006-10-06 00:51:28 · answer #8 · answered by plugo0777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of the baby and do no housework or cook meals for hubby. When he gripes, give him the same excuse he gives you...you have to go to work and he is now in control of the housework, cooking, etc.
2006-10-06 00:41:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
properly you already recognize what to do... you only want a second appinion huh?.. you stated your self that "i'm head over heels in love" together with your bf!! hi.. you in love with the guy you're with. so stay with him of direction.. not in any respect take income of what you've.. its continually better suited to keep what you recognize you've then to interchange it for a secret container.. in case you recognize what i recommend.. you not in any respect now what's going to happen in case you bypass with yet another guy and in case you do you'll destroy what you've now.. you lovehim stay with him.. your ex weigh down. is only that.. your EX weigh down ok.. plus he had the nerve to assert he hated you.. thats harsh .. and im confident with a reality like that he honestly doesnt love you better then the lady he's with.. or that could want to not in any respect got here out his mouth.. he only will be getting uninterested in his female. and prefer to modify.. and via previous he believes you nonetheless like him... and he thinks you're a confident component.. so teach him incorrect and tell him no.. that you dont like him anymore.. and that your in love already with an outstanding guy. reason he must be in case you adore him.. and this complete time you've had an outstanding chum thats a boy and he theory he will be better then acquaintances.. and has been attempting to at the same time as you theory you jsut acquaintances.. so wht you want to do is be confident to make sparkling with him that you 2 will only be acquaintances.. and that you adore his friendship and love him as a brother.. and that you could't in any respect be better then acquaintances.. he desires to carry close this so he can flow on and attempt to get a woman which will actualy love him again... even once you tell him this he will nonetheless imagine he has a probability with you for a at the same time as.. yet with any luck he will come to appreciate almost immediately... goodluck and that i wish all of it works out for you.. dr icebreaker
2016-11-26 20:46:50 · answer #10 · answered by lohr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋