Can you help and advise about my best friend?

Question

What do I do about my best friend?
I have known my best friend (girl) for 2 years now. I am a guy. We used to be so close, and did absolutely everything together. Now she has a new boyfriend, who she told me about even before they got together. She does everything with him now. When he is not free she decides to text, phone or meet me just to staisfy me, not meaning it . Basically only when convienent for her. When I try to not talk she eventually asks me to meet with her, putting more strain and hurt into me.
I am in two minds with this relationship - either to leave her to it, and let her come and find me when she is ready, or just to stay with her and feel a lot of pain inside. I try to tell her how I feel but she gets angry and so does her boyfriend. I am also jealous and feel very lost.
She is changing. I don't know what to do anymore.
I feel I try my hardest to like her now but it is very difficult after what has happened. The more time goes on the more frustrated I get.

Answer 1

You must understand that nothing is static - people change, especially when they are young and still discovering themselves and the world. Platonic relationships between sexes is difficult. if not impossible - sex and jealousy usually rear their ugly heads and must be dealt with, as you are finding out. Your best bet is to make other friends, find your own interests that do NOT involve her - and let time pass. Avoid her. When she calls, don't talk - tell her you are busy.. when she wants to get together - tell her you can't and then DON'T. Do not mope and don't obsess about her.
You may still stand a chance of being friends in the long run - even despite boyfriends/girlfriends - only time will tell.

Answer 2

You can't expect things to stay the same for ever. She's moving on, doesn't mean you're not her best friend anymore. But she has a bf now and you've got to give her space. Imagine if it were the other way round and you were the one who got a gf and called her when it was convenient for you...Wouldn't you feel the same as she does now? It is wrong that she contacts you when she feels like it, but it doesn't mean that you should make yourself available to her all the time. If she asks to meet and you don't fancy it then tell her no, you've made other plans, or you've got to sort stuff out now but you'll call her when you're done. Don't let her use you but don't be jealous. It's not a good feeling and it'll make you feel worse than she will ever feel. Be happy for her and maybe find yourself a gf...

Answer 3

Of course you did some thing wrong or they wouldn't be treating you this way. Someone may be passing around a photo of you picking your nose, or perhaps there is a rumor circulating that you are a child molester or something much worse. You have to make a list of the people treating you weird, but keep it to yourself for now. These people are your enemies.

You should change your appearance as much as you can in case it is the photo scenario. This will also confuse your enemies so they will not be able to spread their lies about you so easily. If you have long hair cut it boyishly short and dye it to the opposite of what you have now. If you have thick eyebrows pluck them bald. If you have thin or groomed eyebrows attach thick, false eyebrows and where them always. If you normally dress nice get into dirty, torn Jeans and sweat shirts. Don't say anything to anybody who is on your enemies list. They will only use it to find ways to hurt you. You should find out who their ring leader is and start damaging rumors about her.

Answer 4

The first thing you have to deal with is being in love with her. If you find a way to let this go then it might be easier for you. Secondly, don't you have other friends? Enjoy your time with them and don't sit around waiting for her to see you. This puts too much pressure ion her and makes you look uninteresting and needy. Thirdly, she is obviously into this guy a lot and she is enjoying him now as much as possible. Let her do that and don't stress her because I am sure that you whine a lot about this subject to her. There will come a time when she will need to be with her friends only, but later. Now she's infatuated!
But, seriously dude, if you don't get over being in love with her, you're in trouble!

Answer 5

This is like a story i have read before. Weird. Why don't you make her jealous if she is making you jealous. Get a new friend (make it a girl) and have loads of fun with that girl to show that your not always waiting around for her. She doesn't sound like a true friend to me. If she is more interested in her boyfriend then let her get on! i wouldn't bother with her if i was you. I would just get out of her life straight away. But if you have feelings for her then tell her. But if you can't then just write it down so it's out of your system. The problem is with girls is they are complicated (every girl is) including me. so good luck

Answer 6

I think you should tell her how you feel, and then you should back off. Not for her sake, but for yours. She must understand that you would like to be with her, but if she wants to be with someone else, she must let you go and allow you to move on. She cannot selfishly keep you AND her new boyfriend. You're not asking her to choose between the two of you either. You are only telling her how you feel, and what is best for you. She is happy, you should be too.

Answer 7

See, now she have a boyfriend and she have to give or spend more time with him. So try to be happy even if it is difficult. Don't try to act as if you are her best friend because now you are not but you can't break off with her like this so remain her helpful friend. Soon you will start to like this relationship.

Answer 8

you make it sound like you are being cheated on. you are the friend boy not the boyfriend, get over it. i'm sorry to be so blunt but honestly she obviously not interested in you farther than just a friend you can be that and only that or move on. you clearly want more out of the relationship than she does, so i think your best to cut your ties. i doubt the bf is going anywhere but she'll want you too if you keep coming between her and her man. sorry buddy. life goes on.

Answer 9

i see that you are seeking alot of attention from her. you are feeling lost now that she is no longer doing everything with you... but its reality, when someone finds a new boyfriend/girlfriend, friends become secondary, even best friends.

i believe the role of a best friend is still always to be around for her thru thick or thin, with or without boyfriend.

just one question: have you fallen for her? maybe you have. just that you did not realise it?

Answer 10

you must accept the fact that your friend is growing up.it is very hard for people to come to term with the fact that some one they really love, loves some one else too. give her time.she is probably too exited about having a boyfriend,the fact that she told you about him before they went out shows she trusts you. don't lose a good friend by making hasty decisions based on your instinctive emotion (jealousy and hurt).