my boyfriends daughter will be five on saturday she is extremely smart and cute and i love her to death! her and her father and me and my son all live together, she gets away with everything all she has to do is whine and cry or throw a fit and he will with out a doubt give in. she always talks back to him and will straight out tell him NO and he doesn nothing but laugh and when i point it out he gets mad at me or sais she is jus playing but as i said she is smart and knows how to work him perfectly. when my son who is 3 sais no to me or him he yells at him and is very hard on him and if he whines or crys he gets in trouble which is confusing for him because he is only 3 and sees her do it and get away with it. she never listens to me or anybodys else because she knows she doesnt have to im frustrated and when i try to talk to him about it he gets deffensive and gets mad at me. i only have 4 months untill the lease is up and im outta here for me and my sons mental health! what do i do?
2006-10-05 19:33:55 · 13 answers · asked by Emily May 11/10/08 :) 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh my God girl!!! I was in a similar situtation but with just my son... there were no other kids, but my son suffered... from the guy being a bit too harsh at times.... he was abusive to me but never my son, just made him stay in his room too long etc for being naughty...
But the thing that finally made me leave the guy is when my son said to me ... "I dont even like him..." then I realised, what am I doing? If my son doesn't even like this guy let alone love him how dare me do that to him???
Now, I am not saying to leave the guy only you can know if you should, but follow your heart and your instincts and if it doesn;'t feel right, it usually isn't and you will only end up having more mistakes to regret in future...
As far as the little girl goes.... kids are like DOGS.... SERIOUSLY! Let him in the door everytime he whines? He will whine at the door everytime he wants to come in because he knows it will work again etc. etc.
They need training, if you give in to a certain reaction and give them what they want, then you are only reaffirming to them it is ok to act like that next time, cause it just means you will always get what you want.
He will most likely always side with his daughter over you... unless he grows up a bit and starts acting like a responsible adult and parent to both kids...
2006-10-05 19:55:22 · answer #1 · answered by debszta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you realize you need to get out. When he starts getting on your son for mimicking what he sees the lil girl doing, stop him. Tell him he of all people has no business correcting your son for doing exactly what his daughter does. If nothing else you may feel better for not keeping your feelings bottled up & your son will know & see you that will stick up for him & protect him. Children really do learn what they live. Do the best you can to buy yourself some time til you're outta there & pick your battles carefully in the meantime. Apparently this guy has no clue how much of a hypocrite he is. Gee, is there a way you could send him a copy of the answers you get? Just a thought.
2006-10-05 19:45:50 · answer #2 · answered by yobaby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, when disciplining children there shouldn't be a different set of rules for each child, however since he clearly doesn't know how to discipline his own child who is he to discipline yours. He's going to learn soon enough that what she's doing isn't cute and that he better break her out of this soon because when she starts kindergarten there are going to be problems. If he doesn't do something soon, she only going to get worst. If you love him and her than before you leave than try to sit him down and talk to him about disciplining the children. You should not have to live in a house with a child that you can't discipline or say anything to when she is acting out. If you cannot come to an agreement than take your son and find another place. I would also like to suggest that before you get into a relationship with another man with a child, the two of you should agree on how to discipline the children. This goes even if he only has visitation right. If the child is going to be in your house ground rules need to be set and enforced by both parties.
2006-10-06 05:42:58 · answer #3 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very easy for you, and very difficult for him:
You have to make it clear to him that he isn't doing his daughter/your son any favors by allowing her to get away with everything/anything and punishing him.
And, as such, you NEED to understand that a mans daughter is and always will be his little girl. Though he may openly understand/recommend discipline for a son, his "little girl" is different. This is because a man, a REAL man has engrained in him that a woman (or a girl, especially a "little girl") needs to be protected and loved above all else.
Now that you (hopefully) understand this, you should contemplate it and do what YOU KNOW needs to be done. Talk to him. Explain it. It may take a while, but he'll get it....
Eventually... :)
2006-10-05 20:11:18 · answer #4 · answered by brimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he is not to discipline your son, that is your job. It is very hard on a child if he thinks his own mom allows someone to pick on him while at the same time he allows his own child to get away with everything. Maybe I am old fashioned but this idea of living with one guy and then another is not good for kids. It's not easy to be on your own but for the sake of your child it's best to wait for someone you are willing to commit to before you bring him into your sons life. If you give it time you should be able to pretty well tell how he will treat your son and how your son feels about him.
2006-10-05 19:55:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the same problem so many people do you can not tell him how to discipline his child but you can tell him not to discipline yours. You guys should not be living together anyway. Live apart from him and let him figure the rest out on his own you do not need to break up with him, raise your child the way you know how and let him do the same and he will eventually see that your way is right when he is dealing with a disrespectul spoiled brat. Good Luck!
2006-10-05 19:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by mdboomskwad.mc4u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack up your belongings and take your son and LEAVE at once.
This will only get worse. You need to move on with life. You do not need some little snot nosed little b*tch running your relationship with her father. The moment she talked back to YOU was the moment you should have packed up and left.
2006-10-05 19:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by KC2EGL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the lease already!
Carpe Diem!
P.s it's indisciplined
2006-10-05 20:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by afrodyzyak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lovable large female answer! a guy in a motel runs to the elevator and receives in and is searching at a woman status there in an complete length mink coat, and asks: did you recognize what number "minks" were killed for his or her fur to make that fur coat? the lady seems again at him and says: did you recognize what number "pigs" I had to **** to get this coat? :-})
2016-11-26 20:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by hariwon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your BOYFRIEND should not be punishing your son at all. I think I would leave as soon as possible too.
2006-10-05 20:04:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋