do u guys often feel that ur not being appreciated enough by fds?or mistreated by fds?im da kinda person that treats everyone equally n an all around nice person,i try to help ppl alot,im not tryin to ask anythin for return,but for some reasons,not everyone will b appreciate of u??i mean very few do...i introduced my guys fds to my gals,somehow they r in a relationship or married,every since then they don't call me no more,n those r fds for a longggg tyme,n new fds i met,they alreadly hv their own group of buddies,it's really hard to fit in or to b as close..i just wanna kno if im the only unfortunate one or should i b a little more selfish??
2006-10-05 19:33:27 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Most decent people have this exact problem. You are not the only unfortunate one.
The "secret" seems to be to keep trolling for more friends, because people are going to move, get married, get tied up with their children, etc.
If you do, you can wind up with one or two or three that are friends for life -- and that's as good as it gets.
2006-10-05 19:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Know what? ...I'm not a guy by you hit on something I noticed a long time ago. It became a study for me actually. I first noticed in while working for the government. People seem to be mostly interested in themselves, very self serviing even when being nice. It is not everyone but is does cover a multitude of them I then worked in the military...the men are just as bad as the women. I did not find many humble souls in my experience. I also noticed they had no idea how blatantly obvious they behaved towards some of anothers. Then they'd get together like they cared, seemed to, and would get along for a period and it was off again cutting each other off at the knees with petty jealousies amd the worse they looked to me. The strangest thing of all was few if any took notice of it, maybe they didn't want to. The less obvious ones practiced denial until someone cut into their terrritory/ I learned to keep my mouth shut, keep my eyes open and not to be the one to point any of this out to anyone. But I never stopped notiicing what I'd call deadly sins. . People have to make their goal...and they will get there inspite of anything and everyone and never realize they have injured anyone in the process. Maybe I am not explaining it right but there was a lot of pain there. They can't accept that about themselves.
Well, it was my observation...it was an interesting pastime but don't let anyone get you down and don't become like them. As someone once said to me, "There are those that are and those that think they are" and " Respect can be bought too and very cheaply." I found it to be very true. Keep the Faith.
2006-10-06 04:41:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone wants to feel needed and also wants to feel wanted.
You are treating your friends the way you want to be treated but they want to be treated that way by someone else. Example is their girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever.
They need and want those relationships as strong as their feelings are for each other.
One thing if most of these situations is that the person is waiting around for a call from their old friends instead of just calling them. If they are as good friends as you are to them then just call them and invite them out either as a group or individually. Even if they say no you still put it ou there that you would like to catch up.
Good friends can remain that way for life no matter the time between meetings. Life keeps people very busy and unless they are all going out with all their other friends and not you then there is nothing you should worry about. Perhaps you find yourself with the extra time to think about these things and they don't have that much time because of their relationship.
Its not that you are unfortunate it is just that life has changed for your friends and perhaps less for you. Dont think that they think less or even differently of you unless you know for certain. They probably want to catch up but have very little time or would rather spend that time with their partner (which is not that crazy and I think anyone could see why).
2006-10-05 19:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend,
This feeling is natural & most of us go throught the same cycle of thoughts as you are experiencing right now.
If you go through the lives of great people , you would find that they never asked for 'Approved' tag from the world.
You are your own best judge. If you do anything good for others, it gives you a satisfaction. Medically, it gives you additional flow of good chemicals in your body. It soothes your mind & you feel better.
But when you depend upon other to approve this good deed, your feel anxiety , you feel as if your future is to be dicided by his words & opinion. If he says nothing , it means your good deed is worthless. NO NO NO.
Don't fall in this trap. Be your own judge. Make a diary . Give yourself a star wheneever you do a good task or help someone. Give two when you do it & don't even bother about other's reaction to it. Considering the person you are, soon you'll have a lot of stars which would truly reflect your actual nature.
I am proud of you & your feelings. Rise above other's opinion, be your own judge & one day you'll be the winner.
All the best.
Welcome to this great community.
Pl. don't forget to select my answer as best if this help you. ( being selfish...me )
Have a great time !!!!!
2006-10-05 19:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by Smiling_Umesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've experienced this myself:
You're always there for them, but when you need them, you're all alone.
It's very simple....
People want to recieve, but they don't want to give. This is basic human nature. The only thing you can do is rest assured in the fact that you KNOW.... for a FACT... That you have done the right thing and helped those who need it. You are a good person and that is it's own reward, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
2006-10-05 19:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by brimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes ... always ... when we do something for someone we tend to think that we ll get credit or recognition for what we ve done ... we do not get this all the time ... not all but most of the time .. but let me tell u some thing its whats not imp is to see what you get but to see wht u give .. tts life and few ppl know it .. u r lucky that u do ... i m like you too. .. at first i used to feel the same way ,... but this realization has come to me just now that its so good to see ppl tht u care about happy ... just try to see that ... and ur life will be good .. trust me ...
2006-10-05 19:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by Yash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if a lot of your friends are in a relationship or married .-they just no longer have the time . the girls-married or not wants to be with there man. get your self a girl friend . and you will not have much time to spend with your other friends.that's just the way it is.
2006-10-05 19:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by tia c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really not tryin to ask anythin for return afetr helping. don't be so care about this too.
2006-10-05 19:35:54 · answer #8 · answered by CK 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all the time.
2006-10-05 20:11:52 · answer #9 · answered by Mexicool187 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you need too learn english they probly don't understand you as i don't understand a word you were trying too say so what language are you trying too write or speak
2006-10-05 19:42:26 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋