Every time our mortgage payment comes due, my husband has a fit. He works construction, he's a pot head, he had a very strong protective instinct for his family, likes to plan family trips...just trying to say both good things and bad. He smokes pot often with his buddies at my house, we have a two story so I stay with the kids upstairs, we are up here reading, watching family movies, while downstairs it's a different world. This is how it is almost everyday in my life. Today we argued about the mortgage because he hasn't been working that much due to lack of work at his job, but he had managed to get some side work, so he's made extra money there which he treats as seperate. He doesn't feel that he should give me extra money because i have a new job and make enough money to fill in his gaps. The money he made he wants to spend it on marijuana, how should I react to that?
2006-10-05 19:21:44 · 10 answers · asked by E! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We are constantly arguing because I always make the suggestions my first five answerers have suggested
2006-10-05 19:33:27 · update #1
I'd be pretty ticked off is how I'd react! There would be no end to the resentment I'd be feeling! Here you are struggling to keep things afloat and he's floundering in a drug induced dead end dream world. His protective instinct has been altered. It is now limited to maintaining and protecting his self absorbed party lifestyle. Only thing I see is that he's out for his own selfish interests. How long are you going to tolerate this? This is a nowhere situation for you and your kids. You wait and see. His lack of work will get reduced down to no work at all. Then your money will become his money. How many good things are you going to have to say about him then? It's bad enough that you are living in two separate worlds. Do you think that just by hiding out that things are going to improve? Ain't going to happen!
The time is long over due for you to realize your own family instincts. This is not a good environment for your kids. Not with the illegal drug use going on. You could end up losing those kids of yours. Not to mention the house and maybe even your job. Are you going to risk all this? Because of his self destructive actions? If, as you say, this is your house then he needs to leave. Otherwise you need to leave. Either by force or by choice and the sooner the better.
2006-10-05 20:39:50 · answer #1 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'd put a stop to smoking pot at the house...If he doesn't want to help pay the mortgage, then he shouldn't be smoking at the house. It's a bad example for your kids, and not terribly healthy anyway.
I would also ask him to "make up" the difference of what he normally brings home in a paycheck out of his "extra" money so the bills don't become a terrible burden to you.
2006-10-06 02:29:36 · answer #2 · answered by Lucie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you subjecting your kids to this? You need to tell him he is a father and needs to support his family not his drug habit. He is not only hurting you financially but he is taking time away from his kids. He should be with you reading or watching movies. Big whoop he can plan trips, he needs to spend his time and money on his family without whining about the house payments. How about your time together? Tell him to wake up or pack up. You already have kids you don't need him acting like one....
2006-10-06 02:29:40 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well here is a need to know: any kind of smoke
!RISES! plus your kids are prob going to school smelling like pot- so id keep the kids and yourself out of the house playing or something?
i have a hubby a mortgage and 2 kids myself--he sounds stressed-ofcourse- you need to find a way to get him off the pot-- for you for him and kids and everyone- even if it means anonamosly turning him in- save up lil by lil- for extra expenses bc hell be on probation or something for a few months--but if thats wat it takes then by all means do so for everyones sake--pot may not be the only thing hes on snoop a bit if nessesary? i prob sound stupid but i am serious..... you already know why he has a fit-(its his own fault) so now the next step is do something about it! ITS JUST AS MUCH YOUR HOUSE YOUR KIDS YOUR LUNGS AND BRAIN CELLS--TELL HIM --SURE YOULL FIGHT BUT TELL HIM YOU ARE SICK OF IT AND THIS TIME YOU MEAN BUSINESS!
2006-10-06 02:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by Deidre~&~Joshua 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The children will suffer.They don't deserve it.As a mother you have to put an end to it before it's too late.There is no future with him.All he cares is to have enough money to support his habit.I mean don't you know this already?What are you waiting for?
2006-10-06 04:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pot or family sounds like he wants the pot.
2006-10-06 02:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by saturn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for a divorce
2006-10-06 07:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by caribbeangal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he really wants is for you to contribute to the marriage.
you should keep a record of how much of your money goes into the mortgage.
or you should move out.
2006-10-06 03:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
heres what you do, take the pot and sell it back to who he got it from. use the money to pay bills
2006-10-06 02:30:56 · answer #9 · answered by seilygirl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your putting your children though child abuse dump him
2006-10-06 02:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by jac 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋