Okay heres whats going on when me and my husband first started going out everything was great but then i got pregnant right away. Well during my whole pregnancy everything ws fine also it was great even, it was like nothing changed. We were making love many times a day, but after i had our daughter everything changed. I tried to keep things as they were before i had her and continue to take care of our daughter, it was really frusturating. We kept getting into bigger arguements and stuff started falling apart. But the things we argured about were silly, i just wanted hinm to show me more affection. But when i realized he wasn't going to show anymore i gave up. Months went by and we were happy or could i say he was happy. But lately i have been feeling like i don't want to be with him anymore, because of all the horrible things he has said to me and done to me. We rarely make love anymore, i try to spice things up but he doesn't want it when i want it only when he does. Whats wrong here
2006-10-05 19:19:49 · 12 answers · asked by foeversexygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to add that we were together for two years before he proposed to me
2006-10-05 19:27:35 · update #1
well there is obviously a communication problem here- plus He sounds like he is saying in his head whats the use in being romantic I've got the girl.... my hubby's does that. they don't seem to understand or care that we need it to feel beautiful sexy wanted needed and so on.
but despite that-- we don't argue but once every few months about something dumb and make up soon there after-- don't get me wrong we have defiantly had some VERY serious probs but i believe we are meant to be together. don't give up if you love him- think about how you would feel with out him? good things me and hubby do-- we don't talk bad about each other-we don't cuss each other neither one of us believe its something you should do to someone you love BC it makes them feel less of a person and sends the wrong message...damaging the relationship further-tell him it bothers you badly that he says those things to you..? tell him how you feel and sit him down for it let him know everything you are feeling and everything good/and/bad he does... be sweet be kind don't raise your voice..just talk--civilized that should help- and if he starts getting loud about it tell him please dont yell dont get loud just sit and talk with me because i love you and i want to make US work not just for me not just for you but for both of us...and ask him to open up to you and to tell you how he has been feeling and everything bothering him-listen and communicate like you would want him to..... I really hope you and him work it out.... if you ever need any more advice my Y messenger is hubbysbaby_2001 good luck and god bless!
2006-10-05 19:34:07 · answer #1 · answered by Deidre~&~Joshua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so interesting. Getting married, always the easy part. Making babies, even easier. Now, living up to those vows and then parenting on top of it, man, that takes courage, strength, stamina, flexibility, innovation, desire, passion, love... The list goes on and on.
Go see a relationship counselor, not because something's wrong but because it takes hard work to keep a healthy relationship going. Do it because it's proactive and because a marriage packed with passion and love is so much better than one that's not. Do it because, all the subtle things going on with you two have an affect on the children. I'm sure you could find a million other reasons why you should do it. Go for it. Get him on board.
2006-10-06 02:28:06 · answer #2 · answered by divad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's sad, but it happens to lots of people.
your man hasn't learned that being in a relationship isn't just about him.
at the moment he also is feeling a distance between you both.
he waits until his body must have relief before he will enter you.
you need to decide if he has the ability to overcome the situation.
he could take counselling, or he could revitalise his life by playing sport or taking up a hobby. he needs to spend some time away from the home to look forward to coming home.
and you should ask yourself if you have the strength to wait for him to come to his senses.
basically, the relationship is dead. if you want to leave, it may as well be now because unless he finds his love for you he will find it for someone else.
2006-10-06 03:56:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only problem you two have is that you didn't know each other BEFORE you got married. You haven't changed at all -- the wedding is over and life came knocking and suddenly reality isn't like you imagined it would be.
Please see a counselor for the sake of your daughter. If he won't go...go by yourself. ASAP!
2006-10-06 02:25:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is sounds like is life. Marrige is hard work.
The stuff you see on TV and the movies is just that acting not real. Work with each other.
2006-10-06 02:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not you, it's him. Getting married seemed like a cool idea, but being a Dad wasn't the job he applied for. He resents you for having the baby (note: he loves the baby!) and "trapping" him even more completely. Get to counselling - quick - and drag him along, or you'll be raising that kid by yourself next year.
2006-10-06 02:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by wuxxler 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
time for professional counselling. What ever is going on will require assistance if you want to salvage the relationship. For the good of your daughter, you should both give it a shot.
2006-10-06 02:24:33 · answer #7 · answered by Bifferoo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't you know, that this story has been lived BILLIONS of times??? HE WAS NOT READY for the responsibility of raising a family, and you probably weren't either. DON'T MARRY YOUNG!! Did anyone hear that?? Of course not.
2006-10-06 02:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people grow up and accept their responsibilities, and some do not. looks like you are married to some on who is not
2006-10-06 02:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
heyyyyyyyy i have tha same problem i even chetted on him to feel like a woman again because i already give up with him that's just probably normal.
2006-10-06 02:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋