What can I do if my kids "dad" refused to take them to soccer games & activites on his visitation weekends?

Question

What can I do if my kids "dad" refused to take them to soccer games & activites on his visitation weekends?
We had worked out schedules for the last 5 years & now that he has a girlfriend he had hired a lawyer to enforse our court ordered visitation. It is the basic, 1st3rd&5th weekend & every Wednesday during school. He has never picked them up on a Wed & only picks them up on the weekends when it works with his schedule.
Now the kids have started soccer & have games on the weekends. He had them last weekend & took them to their practices & games.
This weekend he is refusing to take them to their games this Sat & in 2 weeks. He is upset b/c I will not let him pick the kids up early & take them out of school on Friday to go to the state fair. The kids want to go to their games & called him BUT he said NO!They will miss 2 of the next 3 games
I will be in contempt of court if the kids are not ready to go at 6pm on Fri BUT nothing happens to him when he doesnt show...what can I do?

Answer 1

Take him to court and explain how this is detrimental to the children Keep a record of every time he does something like this. He is not thinking of the welfare of the children. Tell him this but I don't think he cares so take him back to court. It might not help but keep taking him and keep you records it migh just make a difference if you are persistant.

Answer 2

You can't do anything and you shouldn't even be trying. Visitation is about your children spending time with their father and experiencing life with him. Not the life you make for them and want their father to adhere to. Best thing you can do is get them used to the fact that they are going to have different activities when they're with their father. That way they aren't miserable while they're with him. No one wants that, right? Let them know that there are plenty of kids who miss games and practices to be with non-custodial parents. There are. Soccer is something children do for enjoyment. It's not a job. They won't get fired, and they may end up having a lot of great experiences on the weekends when they don't go. Especially if you do what you can to convey a message that it is OK for them to enjoy their time with dad.

Maybe he was willing to play along with your 'game plan' for the last 5 years. You shouldn't have gotten used to it. Now that he's working on making a life of his own, he's entitled to having his children experience it with him. You should also try to stop blaming his girlfriend for whatever you perceive as a problem. You sound a lot like your jealous of her because you feel you've lost control of him and see her as having it. You can't control him, and you should try to avoid looking for ways to punish him through visitation (the last form of control you have over him). Watching you do that will only make your children miserable when their with him. That isn't going to punish him, or his girlfriend. It's your kids that will lose out and be emotionally hurt in the end.

Answer 3

Be the best mom you can be, you can not control him nor should you. He is the jerk and will pay for it when the kids get tired of him messing with their lives. It's sad about their games but it is not the end of the world. He will pay dearly someday. Don't argue but by no means let him take them out of school. Let him have them on their days of visitation and always have something fun to surprise them with if he is a no show. They will love you all the more and you will be the winner in their eyes.

Answer 4

Get over your husband has other obligations. Sometimes people can't just drop "everything" to please you and your wants. Gee, I wonder why your divorced.

I mean if it was all the time, that is one thing. But what your talking about here is "twice". I noticed also you don't talk about "why" he isnt taking them.

Your one of those annoying people who will try to find any reason at all to take children away from their father. Then at the same time start calling the state if your payment isnt in by the 2nd of the month.

Instead of looking at how bad he is why dont you look at yourself? I know you think im a jerk, that fine. Just once, just once in your life why dont you look at yourself and fairly judge yourself? Your not only hurting him your hurting your own KIDS but not letting them go to the fair. This is kinda crap I "hate" from divorced couples cause the only ones that lose are the kids who have parents who refuse to admit "ANY" of their own wrong doings or care about the ones they are currently doing. Your being selfish with your kids, totally and obviously selfish.

Why don't you ask your kids, im sure you have complained enough about their father in front of them? Havent you? OF course you have!

Answer 5

Take him back to court. Document EVERYTHING he does and DOES NOT do to prove in court why you want the visitations changed. And if you want my opinion I would refuse to let him have them on game weekends, see if he'll trade weekends or something. (More than likely he won't call the police.) But that's just my opinion

Answer 6

you should document everything black and white. do go to court ...so that he will not turn table saying u are the one not letting him going out with them.. he as a father should NOT be refusing his own kids to take them out.. i always thought that some fathers at any given time are willing to spend time with their kids.. sighh.. divorce settlements are so tedious especially when it involves kids and some unreponsible parties.

Answer 7

You cant tell him what to do when he has the kids, that is his time get over it. at least he gets them and spends time with them when he can, that is so much more then most other parents

Answer 8

Talk to domestic relations case worker or an attorney.