How can I get my husband to stop spending all his money on his friends?

Question

This is my problem, my husband's old high school friend is a really great guy and I really like him as a person- but he has made some bad choices in his life.
he has 5 children ( with 3 different women) and he works at a burger place. needless to say, he doesn't have a lot of money.
my husband and I are doing okay, we both have good office jobs with benefits and we save and invest our money.

Everytime my husband is with his friend jim, jim always hints that he can't afford his bills,food... ect. and usually, my hubby buys him or pays for whatever jim is hinting about.. jim doesn't make wise financial choices- he bought an xbox360 instead of paying his car payment. and guess who helped him out? .. he eats out a lot and spends most of his money on booze. I've talked to my husband about this- ( we're saving to buy a home and prepaping to start a family.) his response is " the guy needs help." I've even talked to jim in a very gentle way. nothing has changed. please help.

Answer 1

The next time you go grocery shopping,get all generic food.When he ask why you got the cheap cheese that don't melt instead of the Kraft,tell him you couldn't afford it cuz of that loan he gave out.He may think your being a smart a$$ or full of it,but at least he'll see your serious.Let him know that this has the potential to be a huge problem in your marriage.You might end up resenting the friend and making your husband end the friendship all together,then he might resent you for making him lose a friend.My Gramma always says CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME!!

Answer 2

In most marriages the money becomes as one just like you and your husband are,therefore i would tell your husband that the money that is helping Jim,is money that you both have earned for your own goals and for your own foundation of having a family.Along with the statement of charity begins or starts at home!That money decisions should always be discussed between you two first and to see the need of loaning first.How would your husband feel if the shoe were on the other foot?I feel that these are very important things to mention to him,which you probably have already done.There is a saying that a foolish man and his money will soon be parted,my point is,your husband needs to really see that this friend is using him because he can and in this process your husband is planting his money on a bad seed which will be parted from him in no time.A person can't help anyone that can not help themselves.Jim has chosen to work where he is,neither one of you should pay for his mistakes.I believe this man works where he does due to the child support of 5 children,which is sad,but this is my opinion.If Jim can afford xboxes,then it is time to cut the apron strings here.I hope this has helped you in another way of taking to your husband,maybe this time he might come around to your way of thinking.Remind him that him and you are to come first,that you both forsaked all to live a wonderful life together,let him also know that Jim is a taker and that anything that causes strife and robs you of anything in your home is not of the Lord!The enemy comes to steal,kill,and to destroy.Don't let Jim do this any further.I pray that the Lord cuts all binding ties to you both.I hope everything goes as it should for your household.Best wishes and Good Luck!

Answer 3

You need to tell your husband that if you guys are making plans to start a family that your going to have to save money for the baby's arriving. Family comes 1st. It is okay to help a person out every now and then, but not all the time. Especially if that person isn't learning from his mistakes. After all the guy wouldn't need to ask you guys for money if he paid his bills instead buying things he doesn't need. If you guys keep giving him hand outs he will never learn how to do things on his own. Sound harsh but you or your husband needs to tell this guy that he needs to start making an effort at paying his bill because you are tired of supporting him. You work for what you have and so should he. And make that clear to your husband too.

Answer 4

Sounds to me you have a very loving and caring man. One who will be a great dad who will teach his children compassion by example. You should be counting your blessings. You are blessed in so many ways that Jim is not. Your husband is not taking THAT much away from you and when he has a family he will probably help Jim out a lot less. You really need to look at this at a whole new angle. Your husband is a great friend and human being, be proud of him and thankful he is yours.

Answer 5

If your husband can't say NO to his dear friend JIM then u should start to save yr money into yr personal a/c. As for his, ask him to put into yr joint a/c and when he need to withdraw it - cetain sum onwards - he should discuss with u. Some man just does not know how to save money for their future. It's good to help those in need but not those like JIM. U should also talk to yr husband that if u both don't save up for yr future who is going to help u when u are in need of money - JIM???

Answer 6

There is no end to his largess, so either accept it, or be prepared to take action...either the friend or me...what's it to be? You can not be expected to be your 'brother's keeper' for life, and apparently your husband expects that it's OK....but it isn't right. Jim is a waste, as he expects to be provided for and has no sense of responsibility....be harsh, and cruel....get rid of the bum and tell your husband why.

Answer 7

If he acts like a little kid then only give him a small allowance. Help him to set longer term financial goals, such as buying a house, saving for the kids college tuition and your future retirement.

Answer 8

try to think abt something else like dont even say ur hubby is wrong,automatically he'll *** 2 knw dat he's hurting u p.s tell it in a strong emotional way

Answer 9

tell your husband to stop hanging around him...wherever they go u go with dem....or just gat a home far away frm him..but for now tell ur husband 2 tell him he cant spend alot of money cuz yall saving up 4 a house...or just teach ur husband how 2 say "NO"

Answer 10

Ask ur hubby not to contact him